Verboticism: Loanarranger

'Is my money safe with you?'

DEFINITION: n. A bank which pays huge salaries to its executives who bet their customers' money on dumb investments, risky loans, and the inevitable government bail-out. v. To lend, spend, and mismanage a bank into bankruptcy.

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Perfundory

thegoatisbad

Created by: thegoatisbad

Pronunciation: per-fun-dor-e

Sentence: Kimberly wasn't concerned about the perfundory attitude of bankers because she kept all her dollars stuffed into a mattress locked inside her panic room. In her words: "my funds are not some fat cat's fundough to shape into a golden parachute!"

Etymology: Perfunctory (with little care) + Fund (reserve of money)

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Squirlvestor

Created by: LiaraTivona

Pronunciation: skwerl-vest-or

Sentence: "Why would you give your money to a bank that is a known squirlvestor?" "Don't squirlvestor this company away at a time when the competition is looming!"

Etymology: squirrel (v. to store stashes for the future, many of which may not be recovered) investor (n. a person who arranges finances, often on behalf of others, by placing them in other locations in the hopes of future returns)

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Bankboozle

Created by: splendiction

Pronunciation: bank boo zl

Sentence: Bankboozle (noun or verb). The bankboozle denied its shifty ways of taking finance to the extreme: purchasing companies that didn't exist, providing discredit and embezzling the rest to their shrwiss accounts.

Etymology: This word is a combination of "bank" and part of the word "bamboozle". Bank means to hold (in this case, one's money or investments) and bamboozle means to hoodwink, deceive or confuse.

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COMMENTS:

I think I've been bankboozled before. Good word. - Mustang, 2009-01-27: 19:42:00

meaning so apparent, easy to say, fun to say, good pun, has originality ... exceptional verbotomy. - silveryaspen, 2009-01-28: 01:44:00

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Rethievership

artr

Created by: artr

Pronunciation: riθēvərship

Sentence: The executives of several financial institutions, Fat Pockets Inc. were upset when their companies were forced into rethievership. They were so stressed that they gave themselves a bonus. They equate it to combat pay.

Etymology: receivership (the state of being dealt with by an official receiver) + thieve (steal something)

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Fannyabout

Created by: galwaywegian

Pronunciation: fan neee ab owt

Sentence: they went from fanny can to fannyabout to fannymaynot in three months.

Etymology: fanny about as in mess about.

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COMMENTS:

WOW! - silveryaspen, 2009-01-27: 10:12:00

fannymay or fannymae??? - mweinmann, 2009-01-27: 11:41:00

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Loanarranger

Created by: Nosila

Pronunciation: lone ar rayn jer

Sentence: When Mary opened an account at the local bank, she was hoping to borrow enough money to finance a new home. She soon realized that the money she would borrow would cost her five times again as much in interest and that virtually she never would really own her home, in her lifetime. The interest that this loanarranger charged her went towards expensive lifestyles and foolish investment decisions of the bank's executives. She stormed out of the bank manager's office, crying "Goodbye, accrual world!"

Etymology: Loan Arranger (institute/person who lends money at an exhorbitant interest rate) & Wordplay on The Lone Ranger (1950's tv Western series of a lone surviving Texas Ranger who was nursed back to health by the Indian Tonto rides with him, on Silver and Scout, throughout the West, doing good while living off a silver mine which supplies him with income and bullets)

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COMMENTS:

Hi ho silver and gold! - scrabbelicious, 2012-01-13: 07:59:00

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Shitibank

Created by: idavecook

Pronunciation: Shit-EEE-Bay-n-k

Sentence: "I just got a job at Shitibank!" exclaimed Joe the plumber as he leapt unknowingly down the stairs to his demise. To the horror of his co-workers and recent ex-coworkers, they wondered if Joe knew he had been laid off before his neck hit the last step?

Etymology: A loan, a dick, and your ass.

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COMMENTS:

Good play on Citibank butt the etymology?? - mweinmann, 2009-01-27: 11:44:00

Great word...you'd think with exorbitant interest they charge they could keep a few more Joe's on staff.. - Nosila, 2009-01-27: 23:20:00

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Bankrapecy

artr

Created by: artr

Pronunciation: bangkrāp(t)sē

Sentence: The punishment for bankrapecy is a million dollars less in bonuses. Bad, bad banker! Take that you naughty person!

Etymology: bankruptcy (declared in law unable to pay outstanding debts) + rape (the crime of forcing another person to have sexual intercourse without their consent)

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Siphonandbone

Created by: Stevenson0

Pronunciation: si/phon/and/bone

Sentence: "Invest your money in Bank of AmERRica's siphonandbone department where our integrity and your investment needs are rarely, if ever considered. We love gambling on already bankrupt companies and insolvent business ventures. Where else are you assured of losing your money? Devest youself today at Bank of AmERRica."

Etymology: SIPHONANDBONE - taken from SAVINGS AND LOAN - SIPHON (to drain, or skim off) + TO BONE (to take advantage of, to cheat, to screw royally)

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COMMENTS:

great word - Jabberwocky, 2009-01-27: 10:14:00

funny - mweinmann, 2009-01-27: 11:44:00

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Bankrapers

Created by: silveryaspen

Pronunciation: bank rape ers

Sentence: As CEO (Cheat Em Officer) of the bank, the first disorder of business was to set my salary at a million of your invested dollars, per year. Of course, each bored member voted the same for themselves. Knowing loans made, would never be repaid, we voted to lend all our business buzzard friends, millions more, so they could carrion their extravagant lifestyles and hide their rotting businesses. The rest of your money, we sinvested in the worthless stock of these business buzzards' companies. For screwing you out of your money, and screwing the government out of billions more, we have become known as the biggest bankrapers in history!

Etymology: BANK, RAPE. Also a word play on bank robbers. BANK - business offering financial services: a business that KEEPS MONEY for individual people or companies, exchanges currencies, makes loans, and offers other financial services. RAPE - violent abusive destructive treatment.

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