Verboticism: Investmentbanqueter

'Is my money safe with you?'

DEFINITION: n. A bank which pays huge salaries to its executives who bet their customers' money on dumb investments, risky loans, and the inevitable government bail-out. v. To lend, spend, and mismanage a bank into bankruptcy.

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Investmentbanqueter

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Rethievership

artr

Created by: artr

Pronunciation: riθēvərship

Sentence: The executives of several financial institutions, Fat Pockets Inc. were upset when their companies were forced into rethievership. They were so stressed that they gave themselves a bonus. They equate it to combat pay.

Etymology: receivership (the state of being dealt with by an official receiver) + thieve (steal something)

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Loanarranger

Created by: Nosila

Pronunciation: lone ar rayn jer

Sentence: When Mary opened an account at the local bank, she was hoping to borrow enough money to finance a new home. She soon realized that the money she would borrow would cost her five times again as much in interest and that virtually she never would really own her home, in her lifetime. The interest that this loanarranger charged her went towards expensive lifestyles and foolish investment decisions of the bank's executives. She stormed out of the bank manager's office, crying "Goodbye, accrual world!"

Etymology: Loan Arranger (institute/person who lends money at an exhorbitant interest rate) & Wordplay on The Lone Ranger (1950's tv Western series of a lone surviving Texas Ranger who was nursed back to health by the Indian Tonto rides with him, on Silver and Scout, throughout the West, doing good while living off a silver mine which supplies him with income and bullets)

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COMMENTS:

Hi ho silver and gold! - scrabbelicious, 2012-01-13: 07:59:00

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Bankrapers

Created by: silveryaspen

Pronunciation: bank rape ers

Sentence: As CEO (Cheat Em Officer) of the bank, the first disorder of business was to set my salary at a million of your invested dollars, per year. Of course, each bored member voted the same for themselves. Knowing loans made, would never be repaid, we voted to lend all our business buzzard friends, millions more, so they could carrion their extravagant lifestyles and hide their rotting businesses. The rest of your money, we sinvested in the worthless stock of these business buzzards' companies. For screwing you out of your money, and screwing the government out of billions more, we have become known as the biggest bankrapers in history!

Etymology: BANK, RAPE. Also a word play on bank robbers. BANK - business offering financial services: a business that KEEPS MONEY for individual people or companies, exchanges currencies, makes loans, and offers other financial services. RAPE - violent abusive destructive treatment.

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Siphonandbone

Created by: Stevenson0

Pronunciation: si/phon/and/bone

Sentence: "Invest your money in Bank of AmERRica's siphonandbone department where our integrity and your investment needs are rarely, if ever considered. We love gambling on already bankrupt companies and insolvent business ventures. Where else are you assured of losing your money? Devest youself today at Bank of AmERRica."

Etymology: SIPHONANDBONE - taken from SAVINGS AND LOAN - SIPHON (to drain, or skim off) + TO BONE (to take advantage of, to cheat, to screw royally)

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COMMENTS:

great word - Jabberwocky, 2009-01-27: 10:14:00

funny - mweinmann, 2009-01-27: 11:44:00

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Investmentbanqueter

Created by: Jabberwocky

Pronunciation: in/vest/ment/ban/kwet/tur

Sentence: When I was lining up at the soup kitchen I saw the group of investmentbanqueters who had managed my portfolio stepping into a limo to take them to the investmentbanqueting eat all you can buffet.

Etymology: investment banker + banquet

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COMMENTS:

Food for thought! Good one - TJayzz, 2009-01-27: 10:10:00

Well said. Super Word! - silveryaspen, 2009-01-27: 10:22:00

metrohumanx Only BELUGA caviar, please. - metrohumanx, 2009-01-27: 15:25:00

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Fannymayiyesimay

Created by: scrabbelicious

Pronunciation: ˈfani:meɪ:i:jɛs:i:meɪ

Sentence: As an only child in an adult's body, the 30 year old banking prodigy Gerry Meander loved his job in global finance. Growing up alone meant he got everything he wanted and was self sufficient (if not satisfied). Gerry was quite happy playing with (er..) himself and "Simple Simon said" whatever Gerry demanded. Mother just kept on giving. And, as he became expert in answering his own questions, job self satisfaction was always guaranteed. So much so, Gerry founded his own bank "FannyMayiYesiMay". And it was so, Simple Simon said.

Etymology: Conglomeration of 1 - Fannie Mae: A bust bank and apparent epicenter of a global finance crisis 2 - Mother may I, the response in the playground role-play game "Simple Simon", where one child plays mother and the other children play Simon.

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Growontreepreneur

GlobalGallery

Created by: GlobalGallery

Pronunciation: grow-on-tree-pren-yer

Sentence: "Thankyou Sir" uttered Manuel as he palmed the wrinkled dollar bill handed to him by the sunburnt banker in the driveway of the country club. "The keys are in your Ferrari, and your golf clubs wouldn't quite fit so I've put them in your wife's Bentley" he said politely. As the Ferrari sped off Manuel wondered if one day he too could be a wealthy growontreepreneur.

Etymology: 1. Money doesn't grow on trees - A phrase used to express the need for financial restraint. 2. entrepreneur - someone who organises a business venture and assumes the risk for it.

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COMMENTS:

An Irony Hit! - silveryaspen, 2009-01-27: 10:08:00

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Perfundory

thegoatisbad

Created by: thegoatisbad

Pronunciation: per-fun-dor-e

Sentence: Kimberly wasn't concerned about the perfundory attitude of bankers because she kept all her dollars stuffed into a mattress locked inside her panic room. In her words: "my funds are not some fat cat's fundough to shape into a golden parachute!"

Etymology: Perfunctory (with little care) + Fund (reserve of money)

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Savingsandgroan

Created by: Mustang

Pronunciation: sayv-ingz-and-grone

Sentence: What had once been a successful savings and loan institution had, thru poor financial decisions and practices become a savingsandgroan institution and was inflicting a great deal of financial pain on its clients and associates.

Etymology: Blend of savings and groan, a word play on savings and loan.

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COMMENTS:

They got my savings, so now I'm gonna groan! - Nosila, 2009-01-27: 23:18:00

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Mortgouge

Created by: Nosila

Pronunciation: mor gowj

Sentence: Remember the good old days, when a bank was synonymous with fidelity, trust, credit? Now they only pay you interest when they want to lien on you. They mortgouge your soul and make you do a balancing act everyday. They venture your hard-earned money and sell it into bondage. They make an asset out of you and me and you can take that to the bank.

Etymology: Mortgage (a conditional conveyance of property as security for the repayment of a loan; put up as security or collateral) & Gouge (obtain by coercion or intimidation)

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