Verboticism: Hosetage

'My boyfriend disappeared in the laundry!'

DEFINITION: n., 1. The process by which pairs of socks are washed, dried, and then separated perhaps never to be reunited again. 2. The place where lost socks disappear to. v. To lose your mate in the wash.

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Hosetage

Created by: Jabberwocky

Pronunciation: hose/taj

Sentence: We have reports of several hosetage situations taking place in a new subdivision where LG washers have been installed. We now believe LG stands for last gasp and several socks have lost their mates to the dreaded spin cycle gang.

Etymology: hose + hostage

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COMMENTS:

metrohumanx Did the Bader-Meinhoff gang use dryers for their balaclavas, of just hang 'em on the line? - metrohumanx, 2008-11-06: 12:11:00

It's time to round them up and wring the truth out of them...it will all come out in the wash! - Nosila, 2008-11-06: 21:56:00

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Nincycle

artr

Created by: artr

Pronunciation: nin sīkəl

Sentence: Ruby would dutifully collect pairs of socks. As if on Noah's checklist, they went into the washer two by two. Somewhere during the nincycle one would make its escape. Strangely, the same thing happened when she mentioned laundry to her boyfriend. As though he was a trained ninja, he could disappear for hours without even leaving the apartment.

Etymology: ninja (a person skilled in ninjutsu known for their ability to disappear) + cycle (a series of events that are regularly repeated in the same order) Derivative of "spin cycle"

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Eternaldarnation

Created by: Nosila

Pronunciation: ee tern al dar nay shun

Sentence: Turns out old Father McGregor had been right all along. He had been preaching to the sock kids from the time they were little booties until they made it to the support hose years. "Toe the Line", "Mend Your Ways" and "Don't be Heels" or "You'll face Eternaldarnation" were the lessons he tried to instill on the close-knit community. "Save Your Soles" and "Don't be guilty of Stocking", "You garter heed yarn words of wisdom", "Stay together, but don't give each other any Static or you'll be going to Heel in a handbasket" and "You'll end up in Purlgatory for your Sins" were other parts of his Knitany. Each laundry day, he would lead his little flock in prayer, "Argyll Father, who art in Hosiery Heaven, deliver us from weevils and lead us not into separation. Thy wool be done. Amen" Those who suspendered their beliefs were seldom reunited on the other side. They became the Lost Soles.

Etymology: Eternal ( continuing forever or indefinitely) & Darn (to mend, especially socks, by sewing closed holes) & Damnation (the state of being condemned to eternal punishment in Hell) & play on Eternal Damnation (what good Christians fear is their punishment for sins committed, refusal into Heaven)

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COMMENTS:

This is hysterical!! I like it. - mweinmann, 2008-11-06: 11:19:00

metrohumanx Wowie Zowie! You leave me FLABBERGASTED every time! - metrohumanx, 2008-11-06: 11:52:00

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Sockabyss

Created by: Mustang

Pronunciation: SOK-uh-biss

Sentence: Brenda was convinced that there was a sockabyss somewhere in the bowels of the laundromat because every time she did laundry for her husband Rob, one or more of his socks would come up missing.

Etymology: Blend of 'sock' (a short stocking usually reaching to the calf or just above the ankle) and 'abyss' (a deep, immeasurable space, gulf, or cavity; vast chasm)

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Detergatory

Created by: ErWenn

Pronunciation: /diˈtɜ˞dʒəˌtɔɹi/ /dee-TER-juh-TOR-ee/ or /diˈtɜ˞gəˌtɔɹi/ /dee-TER-guh-TOR-ee/ depending on dialect

Sentence: Some believe that if a lost sock is deemed clean in detergatory then it may be reincarnated as a glove.

Etymology: From detergent + Purgatory

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COMMENTS:

Great word! - Mustang, 2008-01-09: 06:21:00

as long as it isn't forced to stay in limb-o - Jabberwocky, 2008-01-09: 10:34:00

Very creative! - OZZIEBOB, 2008-01-10: 16:53:00

Reminds me of the old Laugh-In expression ... "sock it to me" ... which sockatory did for me! - silveryaspen, 2008-01-11: 13:57:00

oops ... how did I get this comment under the wrong word ... sorry! - silveryaspen, 2008-01-11: 13:58:00

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Sockabyss

Created by: Mustang

Pronunciation: Sok - uh - biss

Sentence: Gabriella was concerned that Javier may have disappeared into the depths of the sockabyss when he went looking for his missing argyles.

Etymology: Socks + abyss (bottomless pit)

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COMMENTS:

Nice word! - OZZIEBOB, 2008-01-10: 16:47:00

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Sockinghell

Created by: Dougalistic

Pronunciation: Sokk-in-hell

Sentence: Where the sockinghell is my other sock? More to the point where has Ben gone!??

Etymology: Used in a derogatory manner without actually cursing. Can be used to describe anything that has gone missing like socks usually do in the wash. Sockinghell is also where your flatmate goes when he says he will be 5 mins in the Kitchen.

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Pairadise

artr

Created by: artr

Pronunciation: parədīs

Sentence: Socks lead a rough life, forced to live much of their lives in dark smelly caves called shoes, being walked on constantly and generally not appreciated. Even their mending is a mild curse. (Darn!) Because of this Marney isn*t too concerned when one escapes to pairadise. She is convinced that the swirling of the dryer creates a tiny black hole at the center of the drum. It is so tiny that only one sock can squeeze through at a time thus leaving its mate behind. Marley has a ritual where she takes the widowed hose and places it in the dryer. She sets it to fluff and an unlimited time setting. Though she might need to dump the lint trap several times, the mismatched footwear eventually makes it across time/space barrier to rejoin its mate. Strangely enough, once she has reunited the couple, the first-departed may return for a visit via the black hole that resides under her bed.

Etymology: pair (a set of two things used together or regarded as a unit) + paradise (heaven as the ultimate abode of the just)

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Blackholse

Created by: Nuwanda

Pronunciation: black-holz

Sentence: Marnie knew if she could just find the secret portal into the blackholse, she would wander into a sock-filled utopia where errant socks and other miscellaneous garments were lined up in an orderly fashion just waiting to be reunited with their mates or owners. So obsessed was she that her husband came home to find the washer and dryer disassembled and the beginnings of a hole dug into the laundry room floor. From that moment on, Marnie and her husband never spoke of the blackholse again, and Marnie started wearing those little disposable foot covers they have in shoe stores for trying on shoes without socks.

Etymology: Mash-up of black hole and hose

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COMMENTS:

metrohumanx Very thorough- a strong scientific foundation, with overtones of Hitchcock and Poe, yet with a happy ending. Remarkable. - metrohumanx, 2008-11-06: 12:00:00

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Feeternaldarnation

Created by: Nosila

Pronunciation: feet ternal darn ayshun

Sentence: It took Bobbie a while to realize a universal truth. When socks go into the dryer, we think they are just getting dried. The reality is they are getting tried. Crimes such as shrinking, holey toes and heels, fading or changing color and losing elasticity are punishable violations. Those guilty are sentenced to feeternal darnation...never to be seen again. Bobbie now knew that those missing hose were actually socks offenders.

Etymology: Play on Eternal Damnation (the state of being condemned to eternal punishment in Hell)...Feet (what the socks cover) & Darn (mending the holes in socks with wool/yarn; also a euphemism for damn)

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