Verboticism: Smattening
DEFINITION: n. A valentine gift which does not cause weight gain. v. To give a non-fattening gift as a symbol of love, which should not be interpreted -- under any circumstances -- as a comment on the recipient's weight.
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Smattening
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Choconots
Created by: Nuwanda
Pronunciation: chalk-o-nots
Sentence: After hearing me lament about the Christmas weight gain and the impending doom of swimsuit season on the horizon, my husband really thought he was being considerate when he found a healthy alternative to Valentine's Day candy. However, he learned that the choconots were just the first of many denied pleasures of that holiday.
Etymology: The word "chocolates" altered to incorporate "not"
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COMMENTS:
Super funny! - silveryaspen, 2009-02-09: 19:50:00
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Smattening
Created by: abrakadeborah
Pronunciation: sma-ten-ing
Sentence: Steven Stoopifidis, made sure to give a smattening Valentines heart to his sweetie, Miss Bootie Badonkazonker.
Etymology: Smack - To strike or slap smartly, with or as if with the open hand. Fattening - To make plump or fat.
Joulery
Created by: readerwriter
Pronunciation: jool-er-ee
Sentence: As Carmella stared at the softly gleaming string of pearls in front of her, she knew she had invented the perfect Valentine's gift. She would apply for the patent today! The hard, round vitamin-packed, sugar-free morsels she had meticulously drilled holes in would be called "joulery." Her company would be called Aunty's Joules because, of course, she was against anyone gaining weight from eating her creation. She knew she had a winner in these tough economic times. Dinner and a gift, all in one!
Etymology: A play on JOULE, meaning the energy created by caloric intake.
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COMMENTS:
When Carmella discovered her pearls weren't real, was she shocked? - silveryaspen, 2009-02-09: 10:47:00
Yes, especially as they were cast before swine! - readerwriter, 2009-02-09: 15:14:00
LOL - silveryaspen, 2009-02-09: 19:48:00
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Yomammasoghurt
Created by: GlobalGallery
Pronunciation: yo-mumma-sow-gurt
Sentence: Brandon had made a special effort cooking for his wife Kylie for their 10th wedding anniversary. A seafood salad and some fine wine followed by fresh fruit and yomammasoghurt. "What's this?" asked Kylie. "Urm, the kids ate all the double choc-fudge ripple icecream" he sheepishly replied.
Etymology: 1. A play on the Yo' Mamma so fat jokes. eg 'Yo' Mamma so fat she aint got a waistline, she got an equator'. 'Yo' Mamma so fat they gotta take her licence picture with a satellite'. 2. yoghurt - a food product made from curdled milk.
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COMMENTS:
Never heard any Yo' Mamma jokes before, so thanks for for something new. Yoghurt is a word I'll be using as I don't like it. Well-crafted, punsome, funsome! - silveryaspen, 2009-02-09: 10:35:00
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Valenthin
Created by: silveryaspen
Pronunciation: val en thin
Sentence: Not a word by Peter was said, as on her valentine card, Bunny read: "Lettuce see if you carrot all for me, or if you'll just turnip your nose at my gift for thee." Bunny opened the boks, and to her choy, liked the long green, better than chocolate or soy. Together they crunched and munched, enjoying a great din-din. "Oh! Peter! You're some bunny! There's nothing wrong with your valenthin!"
Etymology: VALENTINE, THIN. Valentine - gift given to express love on February Fourteenth of each year. THIN - to be slim, or to keep being slim, that is to have, and keep on having, very little body fat.
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COMMENTS:
(Long green with a short future could also refer to money, double meanings from this funnybunny) - silveryaspen, 2009-02-09: 00:35:00
Very clever. Hehe. - GlobalGallery, 2009-02-09: 02:03:00
lovely sentence - Jabberwocky, 2009-02-09: 13:28:00
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Lovelite
Created by: Nosila
Pronunciation: luv lyte
Sentence: On their first date, he took her to a fast food restaurant. She left the ordering up to him, while eyeing the juicy triple bacon burgers, milkshakes and fries. He came back with exactly that as his order, but got for her instead a Coke Zero and a lettuce and tomato salad with no dressing. What she saw as his lovelight turned out to be a lovelite.
Etymology: Lovelight (a brightness of the eyes characteristic of someone in love) & Lite (diet, low calorie)
Heartlyanycalories
Created by: Jabberwocky
Pronunciation: hart/lee/any/cal/or/ees
Sentence: Heartlyanycalories is the newest sensation to hit the shelves this Valentines day. Each box of these chocolate peanut butter hearts is generously laced with salmonella that will ensure not only that you don't gain an ounce but guarantees that you'll lose plenty.
Etymology: heart + hardly any calories
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COMMENTS:
Great - TJayzz, 2009-02-09: 07:52:00
Sizzling sentence, better than the news has done! Your verbotomy is a confection of perfection! - silveryaspen, 2009-02-09: 10:42:00
good play on words...liked it. - mweinmann, 2009-02-10: 09:36:00
That's so funny. - kateinkorea, 2009-02-12: 21:25:00
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Romancingthebones
Created by: TJayzz
Pronunciation: Ro-w-man-sing-the-bowns
Sentence: Noticing his wife had put on a few extra pounds over Christmas, Steve decided on a romancingthebones gift for Valentines Day. Instead of the usual large box of chocolates, he bought her a pair of trainers. He did also buy a huge bunch of flowers to bring out, just in case she tried to hit him with the footwear.
Etymology: Romance(Court the favour of) SEE ALSO Romancing the Stone(1984 Romantic Comedy starring Michael Douglas
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COMMENTS:
terrific - Jabberwocky, 2009-02-09: 08:43:00
Darling! - silveryaspen, 2009-02-09: 10:37:00
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Xerofatgy
Created by: Stevenson0
Pronunciation: Xe/ro/fat/gy
Sentence: A xerofatgy Valentine gift is perfect for that Jenny Craig bound partner.
Etymology: XEROFATGY - from XEROPHAGY (a fast observed among the primitive Christians) + FAT
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COMMENTS:
Thanks for introducing me to another new word. Apt and unique! Super originality. - silveryaspen, 2009-02-09: 10:44:00
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Allyouneedislove
Created by: splendiction
Pronunciation: all you need is love
Sentence: Allyouneedislove love, love is all you need...not chocolate.
Etymology: From a famous song by the late John Lennon.
