Verboticism: Smattening
DEFINITION: n. A valentine gift which does not cause weight gain. v. To give a non-fattening gift as a symbol of love, which should not be interpreted -- under any circumstances -- as a comment on the recipient's weight.
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Smattening
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Smattening
Created by: abrakadeborah
Pronunciation: sma-ten-ing
Sentence: Steven Stoopifidis, made sure to give a smattening Valentines heart to his sweetie, Miss Bootie Badonkazonker.
Etymology: Smack - To strike or slap smartly, with or as if with the open hand. Fattening - To make plump or fat.
Goodiva
Created by: artr
Pronunciation: gooddahyva
Sentence: Will's ample-figured girlfriend loves her chocolate. Valentine's Day puts him in a quandary. Does he support her desire to be healthier or her vices? He may have found a way to do both as long as she doesn't notice the slight labeling change on the big box of sugar-free knockoff brand of Goodiva chocolates.
Etymology: good (of high quality) + Godiva (brand of high-end chocolate)
Covertcarbcurber
Created by: kateinkorea
Pronunciation: CO vert CARB cur bur
Sentence: I know my boyfriend is worried about me getting fat like the other women in my family, so he was kind of sneaky about how he gave me my present. That covertcarbcurber gave me chocolates but he made sure I opened them around my mother and sisters...and they ate most of them.
Etymology: COVERT:to do something and try to go unnoticed or stay hidden CARB: short for carbohydrate CURBER: a person who curbs, or stops or limits an activity or thing
Fannymaynot
Created by: mweinmann
Pronunciation: fan - nee - may - not
Sentence: With Burt's Valentine's gift, Gloria's fanny may not become larger..... He gave her a fannymaynot heart, filled with little gifts instead of candy.
Etymology: Fanny + Fanny May + May Not >> Fanny (another word for buttocks) Fanny May (A popular brand of Candy, often given for Valentine's day) May Not (a prohibition, might not, not allowed to)
Joulery
Created by: readerwriter
Pronunciation: jool-er-ee
Sentence: As Carmella stared at the softly gleaming string of pearls in front of her, she knew she had invented the perfect Valentine's gift. She would apply for the patent today! The hard, round vitamin-packed, sugar-free morsels she had meticulously drilled holes in would be called "joulery." Her company would be called Aunty's Joules because, of course, she was against anyone gaining weight from eating her creation. She knew she had a winner in these tough economic times. Dinner and a gift, all in one!
Etymology: A play on JOULE, meaning the energy created by caloric intake.
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COMMENTS:
When Carmella discovered her pearls weren't real, was she shocked? - silveryaspen, 2009-02-09: 10:47:00
Yes, especially as they were cast before swine! - readerwriter, 2009-02-09: 15:14:00
LOL - silveryaspen, 2009-02-09: 19:48:00
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Lowcalentine
Created by: skampy
Pronunciation: low-cal-entine
Sentence: I got you this lowcalentine to show you how much i love you and the fact that you just lost 19 pounds on the master cleanse.
Etymology:
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COMMENTS:
I like it! - kateinkorea, 2009-02-10: 09:12:00
Perfect blend of low calorie and valentine ... right on the definition ... superb verbotomy! Welcome! - silveryaspen, 2009-02-10: 18:07:00
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Choconots
Created by: Nuwanda
Pronunciation: chalk-o-nots
Sentence: After hearing me lament about the Christmas weight gain and the impending doom of swimsuit season on the horizon, my husband really thought he was being considerate when he found a healthy alternative to Valentine's Day candy. However, he learned that the choconots were just the first of many denied pleasures of that holiday.
Etymology: The word "chocolates" altered to incorporate "not"
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COMMENTS:
Super funny! - silveryaspen, 2009-02-09: 19:50:00
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Carborater
Created by: Mustang
Pronunciation: CAR-bo-rayt-ehr
Sentence: Much to the chagrin of his wife Lucy, Clarence was overly concerned about her health and her weight and he was a meticulous carborater and only upon careful examination of the listing of ingredients would he buy the least fattening foods, including Valentines day candy offerings.
Etymology: Blend of 'carbo' or (carbohydrate) and 'rater' (one who rates or assesses) A play on the word 'carburetor' (a device that meters 'fuel' to an engine)
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Xerofatgy
Created by: Stevenson0
Pronunciation: Xe/ro/fat/gy
Sentence: A xerofatgy Valentine gift is perfect for that Jenny Craig bound partner.
Etymology: XEROFATGY - from XEROPHAGY (a fast observed among the primitive Christians) + FAT
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COMMENTS:
Thanks for introducing me to another new word. Apt and unique! Super originality. - silveryaspen, 2009-02-09: 10:44:00
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Karatcake
Created by: Nosila
Pronunciation: kar at kayke
Sentence: Eddie always gave Shirley a karatcake for Valentine's day. It was a no-cal styrofoam corn cake with a piece of gold jewellery lying on it. But the price of gold kept going up, so next year he would probably get her a caratcake instead... you know the marriage proposal type of diamond ring.
Etymology: Karat (the weight of gold) & Cake (small flat mass of chopped food)
