Verboticism: Smattening

'I knew you didn't want anything fattening...'

DEFINITION: n. A valentine gift which does not cause weight gain. v. To give a non-fattening gift as a symbol of love, which should not be interpreted -- under any circumstances -- as a comment on the recipient's weight.

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Smattening

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Valenthin

Created by: silveryaspen

Pronunciation: val en thin

Sentence: Not a word by Peter was said, as on her valentine card, Bunny read: "Lettuce see if you carrot all for me, or if you'll just turnip your nose at my gift for thee." Bunny opened the boks, and to her choy, liked the long green, better than chocolate or soy. Together they crunched and munched, enjoying a great din-din. "Oh! Peter! You're some bunny! There's nothing wrong with your valenthin!"

Etymology: VALENTINE, THIN. Valentine - gift given to express love on February Fourteenth of each year. THIN - to be slim, or to keep being slim, that is to have, and keep on having, very little body fat.

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COMMENTS:

(Long green with a short future could also refer to money, double meanings from this funnybunny) - silveryaspen, 2009-02-09: 00:35:00

GlobalGallery Very clever. Hehe. - GlobalGallery, 2009-02-09: 02:03:00

lovely sentence - Jabberwocky, 2009-02-09: 13:28:00

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Romancingthebones

Created by: TJayzz

Pronunciation: Ro-w-man-sing-the-bowns

Sentence: Noticing his wife had put on a few extra pounds over Christmas, Steve decided on a romancingthebones gift for Valentines Day. Instead of the usual large box of chocolates, he bought her a pair of trainers. He did also buy a huge bunch of flowers to bring out, just in case she tried to hit him with the footwear.

Etymology: Romance(Court the favour of) SEE ALSO Romancing the Stone(1984 Romantic Comedy starring Michael Douglas

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COMMENTS:

terrific - Jabberwocky, 2009-02-09: 08:43:00

Darling! - silveryaspen, 2009-02-09: 10:37:00

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Smattening

Created by: abrakadeborah

Pronunciation: sma-ten-ing

Sentence: Steven Stoopifidis, made sure to give a smattening Valentines heart to his sweetie, Miss Bootie Badonkazonker.

Etymology: Smack - To strike or slap smartly, with or as if with the open hand. Fattening - To make plump or fat.

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Goodiva

artr

Created by: artr

Pronunciation: gooddahyva

Sentence: Will's ample-figured girlfriend loves her chocolate. Valentine's Day puts him in a quandary. Does he support her desire to be healthier or her vices? He may have found a way to do both as long as she doesn't notice the slight labeling change on the big box of sugar-free knockoff brand of Goodiva chocolates.

Etymology: good (of high quality) + Godiva (brand of high-end chocolate)

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Carborater

Created by: Mustang

Pronunciation: CAR-bo-rayt-ehr

Sentence: Much to the chagrin of his wife Lucy, Clarence was overly concerned about her health and her weight and he was a meticulous carborater and only upon careful examination of the listing of ingredients would he buy the least fattening foods, including Valentines day candy offerings.

Etymology: Blend of 'carbo' or (carbohydrate) and 'rater' (one who rates or assesses) A play on the word 'carburetor' (a device that meters 'fuel' to an engine)

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Heartlyanycalories

Created by: Jabberwocky

Pronunciation: hart/lee/any/cal/or/ees

Sentence: Heartlyanycalories is the newest sensation to hit the shelves this Valentines day. Each box of these chocolate peanut butter hearts is generously laced with salmonella that will ensure not only that you don't gain an ounce but guarantees that you'll lose plenty.

Etymology: heart + hardly any calories

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COMMENTS:

Great - TJayzz, 2009-02-09: 07:52:00

Sizzling sentence, better than the news has done! Your verbotomy is a confection of perfection! - silveryaspen, 2009-02-09: 10:42:00

good play on words...liked it. - mweinmann, 2009-02-10: 09:36:00

That's so funny. - kateinkorea, 2009-02-12: 21:25:00

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Joulery

Created by: readerwriter

Pronunciation: jool-er-ee

Sentence: As Carmella stared at the softly gleaming string of pearls in front of her, she knew she had invented the perfect Valentine's gift. She would apply for the patent today! The hard, round vitamin-packed, sugar-free morsels she had meticulously drilled holes in would be called "joulery." Her company would be called Aunty's Joules because, of course, she was against anyone gaining weight from eating her creation. She knew she had a winner in these tough economic times. Dinner and a gift, all in one!

Etymology: A play on JOULE, meaning the energy created by caloric intake.

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COMMENTS:

When Carmella discovered her pearls weren't real, was she shocked? - silveryaspen, 2009-02-09: 10:47:00

Yes, especially as they were cast before swine! - readerwriter, 2009-02-09: 15:14:00

LOL - silveryaspen, 2009-02-09: 19:48:00

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Romanthin

Created by: galwaywegian

Pronunciation: row mann thin

Sentence: his romanthin gesture followed her non-appreciation of his romanthick gestures of previous years

Etymology: romantic, thin

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COMMENTS:

very funny - Jabberwocky, 2009-02-09: 13:26:00

Together ... thru thick and thin - silveryaspen, 2009-02-09: 19:52:00

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Supernocalfragilegoisshegonnakillus

artr

Created by: artr

Pronunciation: soōpər nōkal frajəl ēgō iz shē gônə kil us

Sentence: John knew he was taking a big risk giving Mary ultra-low-calorie chocolates for Valentine's Day. He wondered if it was a supernocalfragilegoisshegonnakillus move. With beach season looming, she was really focused on her figure but was he supposed to notice? He could be changing his last name to Doe (Doh!)

Etymology: derivative of Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious from the musical Mary Poppins

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COMMENTS:

Fun mouthful! - silveryaspen, 2009-02-09: 10:38:00

Great, but I wouldn't like to attempt to say it after a few drinks! - TJayzz, 2009-02-09: 13:44:00

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Lovelite

Created by: Nosila

Pronunciation: luv lyte

Sentence: On their first date, he took her to a fast food restaurant. She left the ordering up to him, while eyeing the juicy triple bacon burgers, milkshakes and fries. He came back with exactly that as his order, but got for her instead a Coke Zero and a lettuce and tomato salad with no dressing. What she saw as his lovelight turned out to be a lovelite.

Etymology: Lovelight (a brightness of the eyes characteristic of someone in love) & Lite (diet, low calorie)

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