Verboticism: Latekeeper

'Don't tell me your trying to sneak out early?'

DEFINITION: n. A type of frustration created by a manager who never notices when you work late, but always nags you for leaving early whenever you leave on time. v. To carefully monitor your subordinates to ensure that they never leave work a minute early.

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Stimie

karenanne

Created by: karenanne

Pronunciation: STY mee

Sentence: Early on in his new job, Ernest made the mistake of working late every day to catch up and to prove himself, thinking that would place him in the boss's good favor. Instead, it means that the boss, who himself doesn't usually hit the office until 10 am, has now forgotten Ernest's actual contract hours and assumes he will always be there until 7 pm. So now when Ernest decides to leave on time (5 pm) to actually spend time with his family, he is stimied at every turn by the boss's obvious disapproval. The boss likes to do such things as staring pointedly at his watch, sighing loudly and saying, "I guess I'll have to stay and finish things by myself tonight since there won't be anyone here to help," and making comments about how "people who are team players will the ones to keep their jobs when cuts are made." The funny thing is, Ernest has actually begun to feel guilty and acts apologetic as he is leaving (on time).

Etymology: time + stymie (to frustrate, hinder, or thwart)

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COMMENTS:

Truer words never spoken... - Nosila, 2010-06-29: 19:25:00

karenanne My first thought was "clocksucker" but then I figured I had already put in my share of vulgarity a couple of months ago with "dicktionary," "motherducker," and "bitchnessperson." - karenanne, 2010-06-29: 19:40:00

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Minutger

Created by: mweinmann

Pronunciation: min - ut - jer

Sentence: Clyde was a brutal minutger. No matter how many hours his employees worked, he monitored every minute that they spent going to the bathroom, eating lunch, or talking to customers. He wanted to make sure that not a minute was ever wasted

Etymology: minute, manager

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Timepeeper

mrskellyscl

Created by: mrskellyscl

Pronunciation: time-peep-er

Sentence: Helen suspected that Tom, the manager, was a timpeeper when she saw him standing by the coffee machine watching every move she made and checking his watch to make sure her break wasn't too long. He was always at the door in the morning with a creepy look on his face watching her take off her coat and he was there in the evening when she put her coat back on to go home. He was seen peeping over the top of her cubicle to make sure she wasn't on Ebay instead of working and wasting company time. One day, however, he went too far and followed her to the ladies room to see that she didn't take too long. He was caught on a surveilance video and her attorney had no problem filing a harassment suit.

Etymology: play on timekeeper -- peeper: voyeur (Peeping Tom)

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COMMENTS:

The peep became a purp! Good word. - Nosila, 2009-06-16: 10:45:00

Excellent - Mustang, 2009-06-17: 00:45:00

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Clockants

Created by: arrrteest

Pronunciation: klok-ants

Sentence: Angie had been working late for the past few weeks without any complaint or second thought. That is, until she had to leave on time to get home to fix dinner for her fiance's parents. She was clockant as she tip-toed past her boss's office. Breathing a sigh of relief when she cleared the doorway, she looked up and he was right in front of her. "Leaving, are you?" he said in a snooty voice. She pretended not to hear him and slipped out the door.

Etymology: clock, a device for noting the time + ant

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Timebeing

artr

Created by: artr

Pronunciation: tīmbēing

Sentence: Tom works for the timebeing. That timebeing is his boss. It doesn't seem to matter how much he gets done or that he arrives early and skips lunch, closing time is closing time. Tom and his boss do a mental minute waltz as 5 o'clock approaches. The fact that the boss's office is aligned with the hallway Tom uses for his escape makes him seem something like a troll guarding a bridge.

Etymology: time (the indefinite continued progress of existence and events in the past, present, and future) + being (a real or imaginary living creature)

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COMMENTS:

very cerebral - bookowl, 2009-06-16: 16:46:00

mrskellyscl creepy - mrskellyscl, 2009-06-16: 16:55:00

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Tocktickrelationship

Created by: galwaywegian

Pronunciation: tok tik ree lay shun ship

Sentence: The interaction, which had always borne the hallmarks of a tocktickrelationship ended badly. The subsequent surgical attempts to reverse the offense which led to its demise proved unsuccessful, leading to extreme embarassment every time her now ex-boss had to travel abroad. He would regularly be stopped and stripsearched at airports and advised by security staff that it was the first time they had found somebody trying to smuggle a twenty dollar watch out of the country using that particular technique.

Etymology: tock tick, toxic relationship

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COMMENTS:

reminds me of the crocodile in Peter Pan but then that would be a croctocktickrelationship - Jabberwocky, 2008-04-23: 08:59:00

But this is just pretend so it is a mocktocktickrelationship, but if it was in the clinic, it would be a doctocktickrelationship or in a gym, a jocktocktickrelationship or in a hosiery store, a socktocktickrelationship...it's endless possibilities! - Nosila, 2008-04-23: 20:34:00

...or between sports acne physicians, a pockmarkjockdoctocktickrelationship - stache, 2008-04-23: 21:57:00

What have I begun? - galwaywegian, 2008-04-24: 04:40:00

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Clockblock

Created by: scissorlips

Pronunciation: klahk-blahk

Sentence: Emily was frequently at work well past closing time, finishing loose ends, making up time that was perhaps wasted by her co-workers. However, Fred, her boss, was always right there; a serious pain-in-the-butt that knew nothing of her week and clockblocked her just because she wanted to beat rush hour on Friday.

Etymology: Blocking progress based on a mutually visible clock.

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COMMENTS:

mad props - daniellegeorge, 2008-04-24: 13:18:00

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Clockadoodledue

Created by: Nosila

Pronunciation: klok a doo dell doo

Sentence: Cylla Stration thought it would be a fun job drawing for a comic book company. Until she met her boss, Mr.Art Work. His policy was that no artist left for the day unless they completed a whole comic book. So he sat by the only exit, by the time clock and monitored his staff. No one left until they could clockadoodledue.

Etymology: Clock (time measurement piece) & Doodle (scribble a drawing on paper) & Due (something owed)

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COMMENTS:

clever - Jabberwocky, 2009-06-16: 13:11:00

Cute! - Mustang, 2009-06-17: 00:47:00

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Whorology

Created by: Jamagra

Pronunciation: whore/ol'/uh/gee

Sentence: Daphne felt that Phillip, the new manager in the Department of Silly Clocks (afternoon watch), was a bit... alarming. She frequently heard him tocking to himself outside her office door. His imprecise movements infuriated her: only yesterday he had slopped quartz and quartz of water all over her timesheet and she'd had to redo it! Lately he'd taken to fobbing his unfinished work off on her just when things should have been winding down for the day. Quite often she had to wrist-le with the urge to clock Phillip upside the head. So far she'd proven resistant, but who knew how long that would last. Sometimes she fantasized about setting her hands around his windpipe... The man never seemed to notice all the nights she stayed back, but if she left work before 6pm, he would spring forward and reprimand her. She simply had to face facts: time had changed him from a horologist to a whorologist.

Etymology: whore + horology (the art or science of making timepieces or of measuring time)

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COMMENTS:

Face it, it's crystal clear that's my kind of story...Philip obviously has not had a good movement for some time, which is bound to wind him up and make him cuckoo! You'd be ticked, too. Oh well, even a broken clock is right twice a day...Cheers - Nosila, 2008-04-23: 01:28:00

dialightful! - galwaywegian, 2008-04-23: 06:10:00

Can the hands of a clock ever clap? great sentence - ticked all the boxes - Jabberwocky, 2008-04-23: 09:01:00

Don't forget the "Ho" in horology! Luv the sentence - OZZIEBOB, 2008-04-23: 17:54:00

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Gotchawatcher

Created by: TJayzz

Pronunciation: Got-char-wat-chur

Sentence: Bob knew that he wouldn't be able to leave work early, as the gotchawatcher had his eye on him.

Etymology: Got you + watcher = Gotchawatcher

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COMMENTS:

clever - Jabberwocky, 2008-04-23: 09:03:00

like it! - OZZIEBOB, 2008-04-23: 17:48:00

I used to work for that guy too. - Mustang, 2008-04-23: 21:56:00

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