DEFINITION: v. To have a medical condition or illness and yet continually deny it, even after your doctor has diagnosed it. n. A person who steadfastly refuses to accept a medical diagnosis or to follow the prescribed treatment.

Denyagnosis

Created by: Nosila

Pronunciation: dee nye yag no sis

Sentence: Dr. Pepper (wouldn't you like to be a Pepper, too?) wondered why Phyllis came to see him at all. No matter what her test results revealed, it was always a denyagnosis with her. She refused to believe him and always said, emphatically, "That's not what's gonna kill me!" When he told her she had hypertension, high cholesterol, out of whack blood sugar, lung cancer from the 4 packs a day she smoked, cataracts, an ailing liver, arthritis, incontinence, a dodgy hip and a dicky ticker, she refused medicines and treatments that would extend her life. She always said, "That's not what's gonna kill me!" She was definitely a denyagnosister. As it turned out, Phyllis was right. Although 89 years of age and less than spry, she got herself involved in a steamy affair with a hearing aid salesman named Norman, who was 20 years her junior. He could not get her to buy a hearing aid, because, of course, she did not have a hearing problem (What? What hearing problem?). No, instead her best friend, Mabel, became irately jealous. She found out her toy boy, Norman, was flogging his wares at Phyllis' condo in the Rio de NoHairo Tower of their senior's home, Samuel de Complain Chateau. Mabel stormed over to Phyllis' swinging bachelorette pad one dark evening and opened the door to find Norman and Phyllis locked in a passionate embrace, wearing only their Depends. Mabel pulled out her Smith & Wesson and dispatched them both to that big Bingo Hall in the sky. A week later, Dr.Pepper attended Phyllis' lavish funeral and she had the last laugh when he read her tombstone: "I told you...That's not what killed me!"

Etymology: deny (refuse to accept or believe) & diagnosis (identifying the nature or cause of some phenomenon) & No ( no means no; not in any degree or manner; not at all, never in a million years, no way Jose, fuhgettaboutit)

Points: 938

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