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'Honey? Honey! Can you hear me?'

DEFINITION: n., A slow computer with insufficient memory; also, a slow-thinking husband. v., To take an extraordinarily long time to respond to a relatively simple request.

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Verboticisms

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Computiledysfunction

thegoatisbad

Created by: thegoatisbad

Pronunciation: com-pew-tile-dis-funk-shun

Sentence: It may happen to a lot of guys, but Kimberly refused to let ComputileDisfunction stand in her way of a satisfying online social life. "They get old and the spark just isn't there, where it counts, the memory data register." She said as she unpacked her newest computer; "This one will last about a year, I like 'em young." When asked about the prospect of using her new hardware to find a mate, the logic didn't compute: "This is why I don't have a husband. Who needs one?"

Etymology: computile (bend of computer + futile) + dysfunction (not working properly.) Play on "erectile dysfunction"

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Eonator

Created by: HollisWoods

Pronunciation: ee-uhn, ee-on eyt or

Sentence: Francesca is a researcher for various clients in Wash, D.C. Most of the research required needs to be done online and is usually accompanied by,"I need this yesterday!" There is a power failure in her office, so she is going to have to work from home. Now she is in a near panic because her home office doesn't have the sophisticated equipment she has at the downtown office. Francesca's hubby promised he would either upgrade or replace most of her equipment as a gift to her. This is a promise and process long overdue. Now she is in a bind and is concerned she won't meet her clients' deadlines. She is tired and frustrated by her eonator of a husband and her eonator of a computer. She will have to rely on her collegue, Susan, to help her. At least she finds some relief in the knowledge that she will have Susan's assistance and access to state-of-the-art equipment to meet the deadlines due. While traveling to Susan's office, Francesca couldn't help but wonder if her husband was home eonating on how and when to start her office upgrade.

Etymology: eon: an indefinitely long period of time ate: cause or make

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Pingpain

DCastelli

Created by: DCastelli

Pronunciation:

Sentence:

Etymology:

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Ignoritude

Created by: sammyclark

Pronunciation: igg-nore-it-tude

Sentence: I asked my brother a million times to run outside and get the mail he heard me asking him but sitll didnt get up. He started blankly at me and didnt even get up..total ignoritude!

Etymology: ignore- to not now or be ignorant of itude- the way you act and react

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Calcuwait

Created by: silveryaspen

Pronunciation: cal-cyou-wait

Sentence: My computer, my husband, my boss, and my kids, drive me crazy with their calcuwaiting.

Etymology: A play on calculate,you and wait ... calcuwait ... a verb to describe any thing or anyone who is slow to respond!

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Cronstipated

Created by: purpleartichokes

Pronunciation: kron-sti-pay-tid

Sentence: I guess I added too many bells and whistles to my computer, as it became quite cronstipated upon booting up.

Etymology: cron - A Unix command for scheduling jobs to be executed sometime in the future; constipated

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COMMENTS:

funny - Jabberwocky, 2008-01-07: 12:07:00

great sentence! - OZZIEBOB, 2008-01-07: 18:13:00

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Decelermate

Created by: Nosila

Pronunciation: de sel er mayt

Sentence: Allegra had never quite gotten used to the fact that her hubby, Dell, could decelermate any discussion or activity. He appeared to act and think and speak in slow motion and with age, this lethargy became more noticeable. When she asked him about replacing her very slow old computer, he was actually slower than the computer in responding. It is little wonder why he was dropped off at the recycling centre with all the other useless equipment.

Etymology: Decelerate (lose velocity; move more slowly) & Mate (spouse, partner in marriage/relationship)

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Uvgotsnail

Created by: Nosila

Pronunciation: yoov got snale

Sentence: Rachel realized her mother was right all along...with Ronnie, she said Uvgotsnail!

Etymology: You've got mail...you've got snail

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COMMENTS:

Clever, witty, a nice bouncey word. - bananabender, 2008-01-07: 17:40:00

Thanks, bananabender....sorry I was so slow in responding...been a bit sluggish of late! - Nosila, 2008-01-12: 01:41:00

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Isloth

Created by: paintergrl1313

Pronunciation: eye-sloth

Sentence: My husband and computer are iSloths. They're just so slow.

Etymology: iPod + sloth (as in slow and or lazy)

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Nimpcompute

Created by: jrogan

Pronunciation: nim-com-PUTE

Sentence: He was such a nimpcompute that would not respond to non-electronic communications

Etymology: nincompoop + compute

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Spousalpause

Created by: bosstown

Pronunciation:

Sentence: Linda stopped asking "Does this dress look alright"? after developing an intolerance for spousalpause.

Etymology:

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Pokeyman

Created by: Nosila

Pronunciation: po kee man

Sentence: When Polly could no longer wait for her slow computer, she complained to her husband, Paul. He took forever to process her request and so she decided she could not rely on her pokeyman to help her play her Pokémon anytime soon. Polly has now upgraded her computer and her husband.

Etymology: Pokey (slow) & Man (male spose) & Wordplay on Pokémon (Video games series)

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Islack

libertybelle

Created by: libertybelle

Pronunciation: i-slak

Sentence: I don;t know who's the bigger i-slack: my slow virus riddled computer or my lazy husband who sits in front of it all day looking at naughty sites.

Etymology: i-mac: popular computer brand + slack

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Slothram

womblin3

Created by: womblin3

Pronunciation: slowth-ram

Sentence: Her computer chugged along as though it ran on steam, much like her husband. She wondered how she'd come to allow two slothrams into her life such as these. Perhaps she was due an upgrade - on both counts.

Etymology: Slothram: sloth n. unwillingness to work or make any effort or n. slow mammal + ram n. adult male mammal and RAM (random access memory) n. a type of computer memory which can be searched in any order and changed as necessary

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COMMENTS:

good word! - Nosila, 2010-04-04: 01:26:00

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Amigamigo

Created by: galwaywegian

Pronunciation: am eee gam eee go

Sentence: she was unhappy with her amigamigos memory, anniversaries, birthdays always crashed. Also, there was the issue of his floppy thing.

Etymology: amiga amigo

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Lapsetop

Created by: Jabberwocky

Pronunciation: laps/top

Sentence: This laspsetop is completely useless. Every time I move the mouse the screen saver comes on.

Etymology: laptop + lapse

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COMMENTS:

I like it! - direwookiee, 2008-01-07: 09:37:00

Very good word! - OZZIEBOB, 2008-01-07: 18:02:00

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Multitaskadaisical

mrskellyscl

Created by: mrskellyscl

Pronunciation: mul-ti-task-a-day-sic-al

Sentence: Jim was completely multitaskadaisical around the house, so Sharon decided to tweak his processor. She cleaned out the cache from his memory bank and went shopping for a newer model, one that had a bigger hard drive and was more reponsive, preferably something that had style and would be able to go with her on trips or just out for coffee.

Etymology: multitask: concurrent operation of a central processor of two or more processes requiring a sufficient processor + lackadaisical: lazy, slow, idle

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COMMENTS:

Multinificent word! - Nosila, 2010-04-04: 01:29:00

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Obslowlete

Created by: gemmgemms

Pronunciation: ah-b-sloh-leet

Sentence: My brother is such an obslowlete. He is one of the older makes.

Etymology: obsolete:meaning unusable+slow

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COMMENTS:

It's not easy to embed one word in another! Kudos for this creation! - silveryaspen, 2008-01-11: 14:16:00

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Cyberthal

Created by: OZZIEBOB

Pronunciation: sahy-ber-THAWL

Sentence: When Bob told Roxie that he thought telenetting was a good way to keep birds off their TV antenna, she quickly realized that her humdrum glacimate was a cyberthal, a few hubabytes short of the perfect partner.

Etymology: CYBERTHAL: blend of cyber - a common prefix coined foe electronic or computer-related concepts & the "thal" of NEANDERTHAL - fig. one unenlightened, slow, stupid. Glacimate; 2.(blend of glacier & mate) 3. Hubabyte (hubby & byte)

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COMMENTS:

great word - Jabberwocky, 2008-01-07: 12:06:00

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Terminil

artr

Created by: artr

Pronunciation: tərmənil

Sentence: Despite Jason’s claim of being as smart as a computer, when Jane asks for an opinion, all she gets is buffering. Their relationship is just about terminil.

Etymology: terminal (a device at which a user enters data or commands for a computer system and that displays the received output) + nil(nothing)

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Ramnoramus

Created by: Mustang

Pronunciation: ram - nor - am - uss

Sentence: Elbert was a dull witted ramnoramus and on a par for memory with Esmerelda's ancient computer.

Etymology: RAM (computer memory) and ignoramus.

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Dimwidget

artr

Created by: artr

Pronunciation: dimwijit

Sentence: Joyce isn*t sure why but she still carries around her antique, dimwidget Palm Pilot. It*s slow to use, has few functions that she couldn*t achieve with a scrap of paper and it glitches out whenever she actually needs it to perform a function. When she complains to her dimwidget husband, his only suggestion is that she get new batteries. She just might replace both items soon.

Etymology: dimwit (a stupid or silly person) +widget (a small gadget or mechanical device)

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Microsloth

Created by: bzav1

Pronunciation: micro + sloth

Sentence: Debby discovered, upon letting her new fella move in, that he was quite the microsloth, internot savvy, a full-fledged reclinaut.

Etymology: microsloth - microsoft, sloth blended, internot- antonym for internet, reclinaut - reclined blended with astronaut, a man that could not be considered The Right Stuff, but knows when a couch (or turkey) has the right stuffing.

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COMMENTS:

good one! - wordmeister, 2008-01-07: 22:12:00

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Computard

Created by: Stevenson0

Pronunciation: com/pu/tard

Sentence: When an important report is due, my computer usually goes into computard mode, taking me hours longer to complete the assignment.

Etymology: computer + tardy

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COMMENTS:

Nice word with the possibilty of cognates such as: computardity, computardiness, computardily etc. - OZZIEBOB, 2008-01-07: 18:10:00

Excellent word! - Mustang, 2008-01-07: 23:34:00

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Historaeon

Created by: bananabender

Pronunciation: his - tor - EE - on

Sentence: By the time my historaeon computer processes a simple data entry the results have already become ancient history.

Etymology: historian - a writer or compiler of history, + aeon - an age, an infinitely long period

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Compudurrh

CrayonWarrior

Created by: CrayonWarrior

Pronunciation: Kom-pyu-derrh

Sentence: oh no. Lisa's compudurrh had crashed AGAIN. it would break at random times, and it drove her MAD.

Etymology: Computer. Durrh - sound made when mocking a stupid person

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Lacktarded

Created by: Dougalistic

Pronunciation: Lakk-tarr-ded

Sentence: "This ancient PC is completely lacktarded Dave, just like your stupid brain!!!"

Etymology: Lack: –noun 1. deficiency or absence of something needed, desirable, or customary: lack of money; lack of skill. This is combined with Retarded, which also means 'to be delayed' or hindered.

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COMMENTS:

Too bad the lacktarded can't shed it like a leotard! Catchy! - silveryaspen, 2008-01-11: 14:12:00

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Datasaurus

Created by: Tigger

Pronunciation: /dah-tuh-SAWR-uhs/

Sentence: Sarah complained to Jerry, again, that their computer was such a datasaurus, she could take a shower, do her hair and make-up, prepare breakfast, eat, and do the dishes, all before the 'darn thing' was finished booting up. Apparently, he was still plodcessing over that information, after several months of her complaints.

Etymology: data - information (Latin, plural of 'datum') + -saurus - suffix used in the names of extinct reptiles; e.g. brontosaurus (Greek, saûros "lizard")

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Comments:

Verbotomy Verbotomy - 2008-01-07: 00:01:00
Today's definition was suggested by gemmgemms. Thank you gemmgemms. ~ James

Verbotomy Verbotomy - 2010-04-02: 00:06:00
Today's definition was suggested by gemmgemms. Thank you gemmgemms. ~ James