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'Are you just browsing?'

DEFINITION: n. An overbearing or pushy salesperson who makes you want to leave a store rather than look around and buy something. v. To aggressively sell something to someone who doesn't want it.

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Verboticisms

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Commistant

Created by: Guthlaf1

Pronunciation: komm-ISS-tant

Sentence: I hadn't been in the shop ten seconds before the young commistant started making my day miserable.

Etymology: From: commission + (sales) assistant

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Retailiton

Created by: daisy

Pronunciation: ree-tail-i-ton

Sentence: The retailiton followed us around the circle K as if we were going to steal something.

Etymology:

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Keendean

Created by: Rhyme79

Pronunciation: keen-deen

Sentence: OMG, he was such a keendean that I legged it out the shop as soon as he turned his back. Keendeans are such a pain in the arse. They make me uncomfortable.

Etymology: Keen - eager, enthusiastic Dean - male name

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Floorstalker

Created by: Stevenson0

Pronunciation: floor/stalk/er

Sentence: Commissioned salespeople are licensed floorstalkers who creep me out of the store.

Etymology: floorwalker + stalker

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COMMENTS:

We have a winner! - Clayton, 2007-05-16: 14:57:00

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Clurk

Created by: Osomatic

Pronunciation: Clerk.

Sentence: That damn clurk keeps popping up out of nowhere and bugging me - no, I don't need help! Let's just go.

Etymology: clerk & lurk

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COMMENTS:

petaj Sounds really creepy. Clurk Kent has the hightest, fastest, strongest sales record of all. - petaj, 2007-05-16: 23:12:00

surfstang I like it - surfstang, 2007-05-18: 00:48:00

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Servillain

Created by: Scattercat

Pronunciation: sehr-VILL-en

Sentence: I've never been so annoyed in my life! That servillain has ruined that store for me forever.

Etymology: Servile means behaving in a fawning, obsequious manner. A villain is one who performs evil acts. Driving away potential customers through misguided devotion to the sanctity of the store seems an adequate summary of those two traits combined.

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Merchuntiser

Created by: mweinmann

Pronunciation: merch - hunt - izer

Sentence: Stanley was a Sears merchuntiser. Once he saw a potential customer, he tailed them throughout the store waving his arms and talking about the benefits and low cost of every item the customer walked past. Sometimes people bought things just to get rid of him.

Etymology: merchandiser, hunter

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Sirenade

artr

Created by: artr

Pronunciation: sīrəˈnād

Sentence: Melody is a wonderful salesperson. Even her detractors have to admit she is hard to resist. Once she starts her sirenade, the sale is all but final. The first verse usually starts with **How may I help You Today?** The final chorus... **Come see us again**. Her song can be soothing, flirting, or annoying but always unrelenting. Anyone who wanders too close buys something. A customer once tried to return an ugly green sweater and returned home with two sweaters, one blue and one yellow. **Blue and yellow make green** made sense when Melody said it.

Etymology: siren (Greek Mythology each of a number of women or winged creatures whose singing lured unwary sailors onto rocks) + serenade (a piece of music sung or played in the open air, typically by a man at night under the window of his lover)

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Mischanthrope

zrotv

Created by: zrotv

Pronunciation: mĭs'chən-thrōp

Sentence: bobby did want to offend the customers. But whenever he saw people casually perusing he was filled with a mischanthropic urge to demonstrate his favorite products. Mischanthropy was the only sales tactic he was capable of, blathering and rambling a high pressure sales at every opportunity. Sometimes he would try to avoid customers who looked as though they did not need assistance, but he could rarely contain his urge to wave strawberries in their faces. He was a true mischanthrope.

Etymology: mis (bad) + merchant (latin: mercari "to trade") + thrope (Latin: anthropos "man." as in misanthrope)

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Pradatory

Created by: Nosila

Pronunciation: pra da tor ee

Sentence: Susie always hated shopping in those high-end designer fashion shops. She loved the goods (but not their ridiculous price tags) and absolutely hated the sales staff who were obviously competing with each other for the commissions. She found them to be pradatory, diorbolical and too hugobossy.

Etymology: Prada (an Italian fashion label specializing in luxury goods for men and women (ready-to-wear, leather accessories, shoes, luggage and hats), founded in 1913 by Mario Prada) & Predatory (living by or given to victimizing others for personal gain)

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Comments:

Verbotomy Verbotomy - 2007-05-16: 03:36:00
Today's definition was suggested by iwasatripwire. Thank you iwasatripwire! ~ James

Verbotomy Verbotomy - 2009-12-01: 00:16:00
Today's definition was suggested by iwasatripwire. Thank you iwasatripwire. ~ James