Vote for the best verboticism.
DEFINITION: n. A non-threatening term to describe the procedure of cutting vocal cords on yappy dogs, which makes it sound like a good thing -- after all, they will never bark again. v. To remove the vocal chords.
Verboticisms
Click on each verboticism to read the sentences created by the Verbotomy writers, and to see your voting options...
You have two votes. Click on the words to read the details, then vote your favorite.
Goldend
Created by: Buzzardbilly
Pronunciation: ˈgōl-dənd
Sentence: The vet goldend our dog, so we didn't get any warning barks when the burglars were coming.
Etymology: If silence is golden and you make something silent, wouldn't it be golden? Since the silence brings an end to the noise, wouldn't the procudure to rid the noisemaker of its noise-making abilities be a "gold end"? So, splicing "golden" and "end" makes "goldend."
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COMMENTS:
I have to add that the vet I used to work for refused to do the "de-barking" procedure (as they do call it) because the dogs still made noise and wore themselves out trying to bark. So, while my word fits the definition given, the procedure and its outcomes are at odds with the notion. - Buzzardbilly, 2009-08-31: 10:55:00
If it's cruel to "de-bark" a tree, how do our Canine-Americans feel about the procedure? - metrohumanx, 2009-09-01: 11:10:00
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Yipectomy
Created by: ahwinters
Pronunciation: yip - eck - toe - me
Sentence: Fido was significantly less annoying after his yipectomy.
Etymology: Yip (sound) + ectomy (to cut out)
Yippysnippy
Created by: mrskellyscl
Pronunciation: yip-py-snip-py
Sentence: Owner: "Peanut, your incessant barking has kept me from sleep too often. It's time to go to the vet and see what can be done." Peanut: "Yippysnippy"
Etymology: wordplay on Yippy-Skippy -- a sarcastic answer to anything you have to do or something that doesn't sound fun. Also can be used when you don't give a damn about something and want to use sarcasm (Urban dictionary). Yip: the shrill bark of a small dog + Snip: to sever with a small cut or incision
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COMMENTS:
Skippy peanut butter... - Nosila, 2009-08-31: 13:23:00
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Camime
Created by: purpleartichokes
Pronunciation: KAY-mime
Sentence: Rover's yapping at the lint that had collected in Bob's navel was the deciding factor in him ultimately getting camimed.
Etymology: canine, mime (as in a mute actor)
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COMMENTS:
Much smarter and more original than "shushpuppy". Good stuff! - Bulletchewer, 2007-01-30: 19:37:00
Thank you Bulletchewer! - purpleartichokes, 2007-01-31: 04:11:00
I tried and tried to think of a word with mime - good work - Jabberwocky, 2007-01-31: 09:16:00
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Dogcilise
Created by: Discoveria
Pronunciation: Dorg-sill-lies
Sentence: Are you tired of hearing that ceaseless yapping? Do you constantly wear earplugs? Then why not dogcilise young Rover? Swift and painless dogcilising facilities only at Golden Silences Vet Practice.
Etymology: Dog + docile: docile meaning quiet, meek. Also suggests 'sterilise'.
Larynicks
Created by: Nosila
Pronunciation: lari nix
Sentence: Fred had a smart, but yappy dog called Larry. So when Fred wanted to talk in front of Larry, he used pig-latin (or as he called it dog-latin). Fred told his wife he was taking Larry in the ar-cay to the eterinarian-vay, to ix-nay his larynicks and to have him eutered-nay. Poor Larry, after the operation, he lost his mojo and couldn''t tell anyone about it!
Etymology: Larynx (a cartilaginous structure at the top of the trachea; contains elastic vocal cords that are the source of the vocal tone in speech) & Nicks (cuts;cut slightly, with a razor)
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COMMENTS:
rebarkable - galwaywegian, 2011-01-18: 10:15:00
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Shutupredure
Created by: pandafever
Pronunciation: shut-up-preedur
Sentence: Thanks to Yoda's shutupredure, Elaine is no longer going to be evicted.
Etymology:
Goldenize
Created by: artr
Pronunciation: gōldənīz
Sentence: When Ron saw an ad from his vet offering to goldenize his dog he was intrigued. Control his dog’s barking? That sounded great. When he found out that it involved cutting the vocal cords he was stunned.
Etymology: golden (very favorable) + ize (suffix forming verbs) because ”silence is golden”
Muttmute
Created by: sodium
Pronunciation: mutt-myoot
Sentence: Because she kept scaring the neighbor kids, Ursula was taken to the vet to undergo a muttmute.
Etymology: mutt + mute
Barkmuffle
Created by: jedijawa
Pronunciation: bark-muff-el
Sentence: Fido had a barkmuffle performed so he won't have to worry about barking anymore.
Etymology: bark + muffle
Comments:
wordmeister - 2007-01-30: 12:00:00
Wow! Lot's of funny words today!
wordmeister - 2007-01-30: 12:19:00
Hey, I'm winning! Ooops, I'm the only player in this group...
Discoveria - 2007-01-30: 15:28:00
Some rather 'surgical' ones too...
wordmeister - 2007-01-30: 17:09:00
Yes, I suppose we have a lot of doctors who are contributing...
This happened to a dog in our neighborhood. The kids call him "Horace."
Nosila - 2009-08-31: 13:21:00
My friend's spaniel had his tail cut...so he's now called Bob!
artr2 - 2012-06-08: 06:42:00
Didn't play this round because I couldn't find the humor in this cruel, self-centered practice. ArtR2