Verboticisms

Created by: OZZIEBOB

Pronunciation: shop-pur-FUNKSHO-rate

Sentence: Bob is not an optimist, he never double parks while Roxie is shopping. All he hopes for, as he shoperfunctorates, is that Roxie's feet will start to hurt before his wallet does. And when she's seriously shoprocrasty, he never ridicules her or becomes boutique-piqued, but remains mart-smart even when she tries on a dozen dresses and an imelda of shoes.

Etymology: Blend of shop & perfunctorate: done merely to get rid of the duty, performed mechanically, by rote, superficially. Cognates: Shoperfunctory, Shoperfunctoriness.

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COMMENTS:

I love boutique-piqued and the imelda of shoes - Jabberwocky, 2007-09-26: 10:46:00

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Created by: metrohumanx

Pronunciation: VAY-pih-DRIFT

Sentence: Lawrence could not bring himself to follow his wife into the Aromabody Boutique, even to dampen her urge to spend,spend, spend. Instead , he chose voluntary exile to the mallhall, where he would VAPIDRIFT with the herd of patient husbandry, a hundred-meter stare in his glazed eyes. Teen girls, ancient immigrants and momshoppers piloting triple tandem strollers jockeyed around him as he waited for the prized seat on a hard plastic bench. Time stretched to infinity as other VAPIDRIFTERS milled around in their assigned areas - no more than ten steps from the entrance, but not too close to the semi-erotic manneqins in the windows of BarnDress Woman discount plus-size fashion emporium. There would be no mercy for the man who wandered away. Lawrence checked his watch for the umpteenth time, resigned to his fate as a docile consumer support unit.

Etymology: VAPId+DRIFT=VAPIDRIFT.....Vapid: lacking liveliness, tang, briskness, or force- Latin vapidus flat-tasting; akin to Latin vappa flat wine and perhaps to Latin vapor steam......DRIFT:something driven, propelled, or urged along or drawn together in a clump by or as if by a natural agency- Middle English; akin to Old English drīfan to drive.

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COMMENTS:

We regret the passing of Laurence Urdang. 1927-2008 - metrohumanx, 2008-08-27: 00:49:00

how tragic - Jabberwocky, 2008-08-27: 16:03:00

Another great word and real-life story. - OZZIEBOB, 2008-08-28: 00:59:00

Some day, lad...all this will be yours. - metrohumanx, 2008-08-28: 03:37:00

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Created by: artr

Pronunciation: SLO-mad

Sentence: As Tom wandered from store to store waiting for his wife to finish her shopping he became just one more slowmad, looking over each item as if he really cared, fending off sales clerks with the slowmad's mantra "Just looking". He also knew that this activity was slowly driving him stark-raving mad. He could feel his sanity slipping away with each step he took. The last thing he wanted to become was a husbutt-parker — those old men who take up every inch of available bench space vacantly staring into space while a mound of packages accumulates at their feet.

Etymology: Slow (Very not fast) + nomad (a desert wanderer)

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COMMENTS:

RIGHT ON! Great sentence, artr. - metrohumanx, 2008-08-28: 03:03:00

Slowmad reminds me of Strongbad. http://www.homestarrunner.com/sbemail.html - metrohumanx, 2008-08-28: 03:38:00

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Created by: artr

Pronunciation: bih-truhj

Sentence: When Jill wants to go shopping she likes to take Tom with her. She'll bounce from store to store like a lioness on a hunt. He'll betrudge along behind her like a trailer with flat tires. They've been together long enough that he knows when to nod and when to grunt something like "That look great on you".

Etymology: begrudge (to be reluctant to give, grant, or allow) + trudge (to walk, especially laboriously or wearily)

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Created by: rikboyee

Pronunciation: mawl-ing-gerr

Sentence: he was simply expected to mallinger while she disappeared into an endless stream of shops

Etymology: mall, linger, malinger

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COMMENTS:

Good word.I sympathize. - metrohumanx, 2008-08-27: 01:26:00

Like it - TJayzz, 2008-08-27: 03:44:00

very good - Jabberwocky, 2008-08-27: 16:08:00

Nice word - OZZIEBOB, 2008-08-28: 00:43:00

Excellent! - Mustang, 2008-08-28: 01:54:00

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Created by: MrDave2176

Pronunciation: man-SHOW-pause

Sentence: William casually browsed through the spring fashions trying to look manly while taking a manshopause holding his wife's purse as she tried on the new dresses.

Etymology: Man+ shop + (meno)pause

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COMMENTS:

very nice - cfinleyca, 2007-09-26: 17:22:00

Funny stuff! - cfinleyca, 2007-09-26: 19:30:00

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Created by: DrWebsterIII

Pronunciation: ˈkash trāt

Sentence: Leonard always felt cashtrated at the mall whilst his girlfriend Amanda took charge of his credit card and tossed him like a hangar in the dressing home

Etymology: cash ( currency, money) + castrate (to emasculate, deprive vigor)

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COMMENTS:

That's why they call money geld! - Nosila, 2012-11-02: 19:27:00

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Created by: Scrumpy

Pronunciation: mahl-uhn-kuhl-eee

Sentence: Dave went mallancholy as he stood holding Debra's handbag at the Emasculation Station outlet store.

Etymology: mall + melancholy

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COMMENTS:

funny - Jabberwocky, 2007-09-26: 11:50:00

Seems as if Dave got himself into a eunuch predickament. Might decide to keep the handbag! - OZZIEBOB, 2007-09-26: 22:19:00

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Created by: readerwriter

Pronunciation: gape.shunt

Sentence: Willard knew the routine as a practiced gapetient: wait outside the dressing rooms, holding the clothes his wife couldn't take in. After she had tried on all her selected items (several trips back and forth), pinched her cellulite while staring into the mirrors until she was bruised, she would appear and say there wasn't a thing she could use. Yes, he had suffered all these years with great gapetience. All this because he had thought she was the cutest car hop at Bob's Big Boy in Glendale in 1963.

Etymology: combination of gape, to stare with mouth open wide + patient, uncomplaining endurace or as well, a person undergoing treatment for disease!

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COMMENTS:

Beautiful writing...and hilarious.Thanks RW - metrohumanx, 2008-08-28: 03:29:00

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Created by: porsche

Pronunciation: gap/tiv

Sentence: He wanted to be at home watching the game but instead he was held gaptive at the Gap outlet

Etymology: gap + captive

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