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'Oh-oh, I'm surrounded '

DEFINITION: n. A pile of used and discarded tissues; may constitute a bio-hazard. v. To drop a used tissue on to the floor beside your bed or chair, because you are so sick you can barely move.

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Tississue

Created by: Mustang

Pronunciation: tiss_ISS-yew

Sentence: Feeling rotten all over from the bug he was fighting Barry realized he had a potentially dangerous tississue with the growing pile of infectious kleenex but he just felt too lousy to make the necessary effort to deal with it

Etymology: Blend of 'tissue' (sanitary wipe) and 'issue' (in a state of controversy)

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Masturgration

Created by: idavecook

Pronunciation: MASS-TER-GRAY-SHUN

Sentence: Steve was so sick he couldn't believe the enormity of the masturgration that had occurred when he came to.

Etymology: Those dirty little tissues that seem pile up when you're feeling really sick.

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Tissooze

Created by: Stevenson0

Pronunciation: tish/oze

Sentence: Winter! Oh damn winter!! Take me now with your freezing minus 27 celcius, sore throat, aching ears, massive sinus ache, chills!!! Warmth, where is the warmth?!!!! I give up!!!!! Heating pad, neck warmer, not even four blankets help!!!!!! Running nose, rolls of toilet paper resulting in a massive mountain of tissooze surrounding me, burying me, suffocating me, killing me!!!!!!! Take me now wretched winter!!!!!!!! I succumb to you bastard winter!!!!!!!!!

Etymology: tissue + ooze

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COMMENTS:

You've obviously had the flu recently - great word - Jabberwocky, 2008-03-10: 13:29:00

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Phlegmflam

Created by: Nosila

Pronunciation: flem flam

Sentence: When Oscar phoned in sick again, his boss, Mr. Ness, became suspicious and sent someone over to see what was happening. Instead of flimflam, this time Oscar really did have Phlegmflam and was surrounded in a pile of dirty tissues. His boss soon was sorry to doubt Oscar, as his agent not only got infected himself, but gave it to the boss on his report. After that he was known as Mr. Ill Ness!

Etymology: Phlegm (sputum;expectorated matter; saliva mixed with discharges from the respiratory passages) & Flam (A lie or hoax; a deception or Nonsense; drivel). Wordplay on FlimFlam (a swindle in which you cheat)

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Phlegoon

artr

Created by: artr

Pronunciation: flegoōn

Sentence: Friends wanted to help Jason but were held back by the phlegoon of tissues that had developed on the floor around his sickbed. Jason’s best bud thinks sea of discarded tissues is a bit crazy. He calls it one flu over the cuckoo mess.

Etymology: phlegm (the thick viscous substance secreted by the mucous membranes)+ lagoon (a stretch of salt water separated from the sea by a low sandbank or coral reef)

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Contagreggation

petaj

Created by: petaj

Pronunciation: con-tag-re-gay-shun

Sentence: Oh no, snot another one. The contagreggation was now so large, that the nurse donned a biohazard outfit to take his temperature.

Etymology: contagion + aggregation

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COMMENTS:

That clever first line will live forever in the memory. - silveryaspen, 2009-01-02: 07:50:00

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Quantinfectissue

Created by: kateinkorea

Pronunciation: KWAN tin fec TISH oo

Sentence: When I visited my brother he was laying on the couch surrounded by a quantinfectissue and I didn't want to stay long for fear of getting sick.

Etymology: quantity: an amount infectious: passed from one person to another and tissue:

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Phlegmbankment

Created by: twocent

Pronunciation: flem-bank-mint

Sentence: Judging from the phlegmbankment surrounding the couch, it was a safe bet that Nigel was out of commission for the day.

Etymology: Phlegmbankment -n. Compound of phlegm + embankment.

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Snotaclysm

artr

Created by: artr

Pronunciation: snot-a-kliz-uhm

Sentence: Hector's bout with the flu and the resulting tissue pile left his bedroom looking like a total snotaclysm.

Etymology: snot (mucus) + cataclysm (disaster)

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Nosemasses

Created by: silveryaspen

Pronunciation: nose - mass - es

Sentence: Praying my cold will soon go away, my used tissues I lay ... in nosemasses at the side of my bed.

Etymology: NOSE: protruding part the face through which humans breathe. During a cold/flu, noses excrete mucous profusely usually disposed of in tissues that rise in nose-like peaks. MASSES: mounds, heaps, religious services.

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COMMENTS:

you should probably say the nosary as well - Jabberwocky, 2008-03-10: 13:31:00

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Comments:

Verbotomy Verbotomy - 2008-03-10: 00:01:00
Today's definition was suggested by remistram. Thank you remistram. ~ James

Verbotomy Verbotomy - 2010-05-19: 00:01:00
Today's definition was suggested by remistram. Thank you remistram. ~ James