Verboticisms

Created by: artr

Pronunciation: pôrtˈfōnēˌō

Sentence: Gerry has all the correct business props, the pinstripe suit, the proper tie, the Blackberry. He is never seen without his portfolio. The truth; the suit is a cheap knock-off; the tie, a clip-on; Blackberry, a much too expensive cell phone and the portfolio, a portfonio that holds nothing more than his lunch.

Etymology: portfolio (a large, thin, flat case for loose sheets of paper such as drawings or maps) + phony (not genuine; fraudulent)

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Created by: CharlieB

Pronunciation: ex-sell-usion

Sentence: You might think Bob is working hard on his spreadsheets. But they're not real. It's an excellusion.

Etymology: Excel (data spread sheets) + illusion (a false impression of reality)

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Created by: Nosila

Pronunciation: fyl loo zhun

Sentence: He was the Great Pretender in our office. Sadly, because he was a male, he got away with it for way longer than any female would even dare try. Yes, Seymour Dolittle, was a fileusion. He would stalk the halls carrying a file folder and pretend to "do his rounds" with nothing more than what turned out to be a pizza place menu and and a bus schedule in his file folder. He fooled the senior management for over 5 years (the ladies in the company twigged on after a year or two, but had nowhere to lodge their concerns). When the cuts came, no one could salvage Seymour, as he worked for no one, did not report to anyone and could never successfully explain his presence in the hallowed halls. Luckily for him, he worked long enough to collect a great pension, unemployment insurance and a tasty severance for all his hard-worked time. Nice work if you can get it...and he wasn't even a CEO of anything!

Etymology: File (a set of related records (either written or electronic) kept together) & Illusion (an erroneous mental representation; the act of deluding; deception by creating illusory ideas; an illusory feat; considered magical by naive observers)

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Created by: ErWenn

Pronunciation: /ˌɛvəˈdɪlədʒɛns/

Sentence: While folders and papers make excellent passive evidiligence for someone on the move, a mobile phone or PDA can serve the same purpose even when seated at one's desk, though such tools require an active effort to complete the effect of slackofflage.

Etymology: From evidence + diligence

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COMMENTS:

very on-message you evidiligently gave it a lot of thought. - galwaywegian, 2007-06-13: 07:03:00

Don't indilige him. - Clayton, 2007-06-13: 07:50:00

Actually, I didn't give it that much thought. I just borrowed some thoughts I'd had from when I created the previous verboticism "slackofflage." I've noticed that some of my highest-scoring words are ones I was least confident in (such as "mockliment.") Maybe there's a message there. Maybe I just give everything too much thought. Yeah, that seems more likely. - ErWenn, 2007-06-13: 14:02:00

now now ErWenn - you know what they say about making ASSumptions - Jabberwocky, 2007-06-13: 14:20:00

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Created by: ziggy41

Pronunciation: Prop-kyu-pide

Sentence: To avoid obtaining any more work from her boss that day, she used her clever wit to propccupy herself with a dead beatle and a piece of bagel.

Etymology: Prop (an object) + occupied (busy)

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Created by: Discoveria

Pronunciation: ess-KAY-pur-wurk

Sentence: Just before weekly staff meetings, Joe's pile of escaperwork would grow to include three reports, two manila envelopes, a stapler and a large black binder labelled 'URGENT'.

Etymology: escape (to avoid) + paperwork (documents)

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Created by: metrohumanx

Pronunciation: SIM-uhl-AY-bore-ig

Sentence: The Bearded One entered with a brushed-aluminum clipboard under his arm, knowing it would cause a stir amongst the real workers. Every week he carried a new SIMULABORIG which gave the impression of semi-competence and enthusiasm which fooled no one. Last time it was a P.D.A. which made his productivity plummet faster than his dignity. His vain attempts to impress the boss ranged from a simple legal pad to a glowing little spaceship planted in his ear. Last year he attemped to SIMULABORIG a staff meeting but the only wireless hotspot was behind his sweaty forehead. The office joke was that he had a whole toybox full of SIMULABORIGS to shamelessly display at every opportunity. His manifolderol seemed to have no end. He would always carry some ubiquitool, unencumbered by any knowledge of its function. Particularly fond of pseudotechnocrap, he subscribed to every high-end gizmoid catalog available. Despite the appearance of The Bearded One's weekly McGuffen, his job performance brought new meaning to the word "adequate".

Etymology: SIMUlate+lABOr+RIG=SIMULABORIG_____ simulate: to give or assume the appearance or effect of... often with the intent to deceive--Latin "simulatus", past participle of "simulare"... to copy, represent, feign, from similis "like"_____ labor: expenditure of physical or mental effort especially when difficult or compulsory-Middle English, from Anglo-French labur, from Latin labor; perhaps akin to Latin labare to totter, labi to slip_____rig: to make or construct hastily or in a makeshift manner-Me riggen,prob of Scand.orig____variations: simulaborite, simulaborana, simulaborat, simulaborology etc.

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COMMENTS:

http://isitchristmas.com/ - metrohumanx, 2008-08-06: 08:41:00

My name is MetrohumanX and I improve this message. - metrohumanx, 2008-08-06: 16:26:00

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Created by: texmom

Pronunciation: Eer pen sill

Sentence: He wandered around with an earpencil as if he were doing math.

Etymology: ear - yeah the body part pencil - simple graphic tool

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Created by: Stevenson0

Pronunciation: fan/tuh/files

Sentence: John had six different coloured sets of phantofiles he alternated at various times of the day to keep 'The Man' off his case and to demonstrate his industriousness and multitasking abilities. "Damn, he's good!" thought his boss. "He's completed three different projects today and it's only noon." John's phantofiles put him in line for a raise.

Etymology: phantom + files

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COMMENTS:

hmm - good ploy - Jabberwocky, 2007-06-13: 10:53:00

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Created by: remistram

Pronunciation: ill-uge-ee-busy-un

Sentence: Stan was an expert at utilizing effective illusibusions - so much so that he was promoted to senior clerk.

Etymology: illusion + busy

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