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'Why do you always carry that file folder?'

DEFINITION: n. A prop (e.g. papers, files or any non-functional equipment) used to create the illusion of busyness. v. To use office supplies to create the illusion that you are working.

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Verboticisms

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Fauxsimile

Created by: ryanpetie

Pronunciation: foh-sim-ill-lay

Sentence: Darren gathered his fauxsimiles and strode around the office like a man possessed. 'A few more laps,' he thought, 'and I could be managing partner.'

Etymology: faux/facsimile

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Maloprop

Created by: readerwriter

Pronunciation: mal-o-prop

Sentence: Eric is so retro, Petra thought. Everytime she saw him cross the office floor on his way from the men's room to his desk, she had to laugh. Oh yeah, he just had to carry those maloprops to show everyone he knew what it was like in the 20th century. It was ludicrous. And, then if you said something, he had such excuses...like he didn't understand there were better ways of doing things.

Etymology: From mal, Latin/Romance languages, for bad or sick + prop for a property used for show. Also a play on the word malapropism, the ludicrous misuse of a word. In this case, the ludicrous misuse of a prop.

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Simulaborig

metrohumanx

Created by: metrohumanx

Pronunciation: SIM-uhl-AY-bore-ig

Sentence: The Bearded One entered with a brushed-aluminum clipboard under his arm, knowing it would cause a stir amongst the real workers. Every week he carried a new SIMULABORIG which gave the impression of semi-competence and enthusiasm which fooled no one. Last time it was a P.D.A. which made his productivity plummet faster than his dignity. His vain attempts to impress the boss ranged from a simple legal pad to a glowing little spaceship planted in his ear. Last year he attemped to SIMULABORIG a staff meeting but the only wireless hotspot was behind his sweaty forehead. The office joke was that he had a whole toybox full of SIMULABORIGS to shamelessly display at every opportunity. His manifolderol seemed to have no end. He would always carry some ubiquitool, unencumbered by any knowledge of its function. Particularly fond of pseudotechnocrap, he subscribed to every high-end gizmoid catalog available. Despite the appearance of The Bearded One's weekly McGuffen, his job performance brought new meaning to the word "adequate".

Etymology: SIMUlate+lABOr+RIG=SIMULABORIG_____ simulate: to give or assume the appearance or effect of... often with the intent to deceive--Latin "simulatus", past participle of "simulare"... to copy, represent, feign, from similis "like"_____ labor: expenditure of physical or mental effort especially when difficult or compulsory-Middle English, from Anglo-French labur, from Latin labor; perhaps akin to Latin labare to totter, labi to slip_____rig: to make or construct hastily or in a makeshift manner-Me riggen,prob of Scand.orig____variations: simulaborite, simulaborana, simulaborat, simulaborology etc.

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COMMENTS:

metrohumanx http://isitchristmas.com/ - metrohumanx, 2008-08-06: 08:41:00

metrohumanx My name is MetrohumanX and I improve this message. - metrohumanx, 2008-08-06: 16:26:00

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Fobject

Created by: Rhyme79

Pronunciation: fob-jekt

Sentence: Shuffling papers whilst wearing my glasses on the end of my nose is the most effective combination of fobjects I have found. It creates the illusion that I'm actually doing what I'm paid to do.

Etymology: Fob -(as in 'fob off', deceive or dupe) + object = fobject

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COMMENTS:

Short and snappy - I could use this. :) - Discoveria, 2012-09-26: 12:14:00

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Figmendation

Created by: Nosila

Pronunciation: fig men day shun

Sentence: As a long time civil servant in the federal Department of the Obscure and Forgotten Files, Roger was the King of the Toadies. He spent his entire workday carrying around a file folder which was labelled S.M.A.R.T. It looked very official and proved to the innocent bystander or visitor that Roger was a man with a special mission and purpose in his work. In fact the S.M.A.R.T. File was a figmendation. It usually contained a crossword puzzle or scratch & win cards, which Roger would spend his days at work playing. His co-workers thought that the S.M.A.R.T. stood for Segregated Modules Actualizing Relative Theory. In fact, the S.M.A.R.T. acronym actually stood for See Me Avoiding Real Toil. Yes, Roger was also known by his more popular nickname: The SmartFile Dodger!

Etymology: figment (a contrived or fantastic idea, i.e: a figment of the imagination) & mendacious (intentionally untrue;lying)

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COMMENTS:

metrohumanx Did Riger work at the Texas Blog Suppository? Ya crack me up, Nose! - metrohumanx, 2008-08-06: 16:37:00

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Manilarage

libertybelle

Created by: libertybelle

Pronunciation: man-ILL-uh-raj

Sentence: Under the cloaking of a perfectly executed malinarage, Jeff buried his head into the folder labeled "Hudson Acct." as he wandered through the cubicle forest and down to the nearby Starbucks for the 3rd time that morning.

Etymology: manila - as in type of folder typically found in an office setting + Mirage -illusion

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Smartphony

artr

Created by: artr

Pronunciation: smärtfōnē

Sentence: Tom can always be seen with his smartphony in hand. It gives him the air of being up on current technology. He has never read an e-mail on it. He has never made or received a phone call. The truth is that he barely understands how to turn it on.

Etymology: smartphone (a mobile phone that incorporates a PDA) + phony (not genuine; fraudulent)

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Maskqueraid

Created by: Jabberwocky

Pronunciation: mask/ur/aid

Sentence: No one knew which department he worked in but with his maskqueraid of blackbery and wireless headset he easily passed his day wandering and betting on horses.

Etymology: masquerade + mask + aid

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COMMENTS:

great word and welcome back! - Nosila, 2008-08-06: 21:53:00

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Fibdjet

giveaphuk

Created by: giveaphuk

Pronunciation: Fib De Jet

Sentence: she fibdjeted with pieces of paper while looking @ the clock waiting from home time.

Etymology: Fib = to like & djet - ending of word fidget - meaning to behave or move nervously or restlessly.

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Fileusion

Created by: Nosila

Pronunciation: fyl loo zhun

Sentence: He was the Great Pretender in our office. Sadly, because he was a male, he got away with it for way longer than any female would even dare try. Yes, Seymour Dolittle, was a fileusion. He would stalk the halls carrying a file folder and pretend to "do his rounds" with nothing more than what turned out to be a pizza place menu and and a bus schedule in his file folder. He fooled the senior management for over 5 years (the ladies in the company twigged on after a year or two, but had nowhere to lodge their concerns). When the cuts came, no one could salvage Seymour, as he worked for no one, did not report to anyone and could never successfully explain his presence in the hallowed halls. Luckily for him, he worked long enough to collect a great pension, unemployment insurance and a tasty severance for all his hard-worked time. Nice work if you can get it...and he wasn't even a CEO of anything!

Etymology: File (a set of related records (either written or electronic) kept together) & Illusion (an erroneous mental representation; the act of deluding; deception by creating illusory ideas; an illusory feat; considered magical by naive observers)

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Comments:

Verbotomy Verbotomy - 2007-06-13: 00:01:00
The "S" in Timothy Johnson's GUST stands for Strategy. And strategy is key! Especially if you are trying to get way with doing nothing. Today's definition was suggested by remistram. Thank you remistram and Timothy! ~ James

Rebekah - 2009-11-05: 18:33:00
Protaskinate

Verbotomy Verbotomy - 2010-01-07: 00:38:00
Today's definition was suggested by remistram. Thank you remistram. ~ James