Vote for the best verboticism.
DEFINITION: v. To call a phone "help line" and spend 45 minutes pushing buttons and screaming at dumb voice-recognition system, before being automatically disconnected. n. A push-button or voice-activated phone menu system designed to irritate those who use it.
Verboticisms
Click on each verboticism to read the sentences created by the Verbotomy writers, and to see your voting options...
You have two votes. Click on the words to read the details, then vote your favorite.
Vocaldisturbia
Created by: scarletzinc
Pronunciation: woh-kuhl-des-tuhr-bee-aah
Sentence: The phone agencies have set their vocaldisturbia strategies to annoy users.
Etymology: vocal-voice disturbia-disturbance
Phongravator
Created by: dessessopsid
Pronunciation:
Sentence:
Etymology: PHONE: abrv Telephone: electronic equipment that converts sound into electrical signals that can be transmitted over distances and then converts received signals back into sounds AGGRAVATOR: an unpleasant person who is annoying or exasperating
Illedigitimate
Created by: stache
Pronunciation: ĭl'ĭ-dĭ-jĭt'ə-mĭt
Sentence: The illedigitemate "help" menu Bjorn reached when he called AT&T was all but helpful. After wearing a blister on his button finger and being irritated to the point of requiring three double gin-and-tonics he hung up and found the answer he needed in the help menu on his cell phone.
Etymology: meld of 'illegitimate' and 'digit' (finger)/'digital.'
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COMMENTS:
fun to say - Jabberwocky, 2008-04-14: 16:21:00
Uuuuuuuuhhhhhhhhhm. Three double gin-and-tonics . . . I can almost taste the lime on my stirring digit. - doseydotes, 2008-04-14: 16:35:00
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Pressbuttirritant
Created by: dochanne
Pronunciation: Press-butt-ear-it-ant
Sentence: David just wanted to talk to someone about how he felt, but no matter what he did he couldn't get through to a human and kept getting lost in the voice-menu options. Before long he was no longer suicidal but was instead homicidal. He cursed and swore - "Damned presbuttirritant!" but in the end the mental health helpline hung up on him when he pressed the two instead of the two twice.
Etymology: Press button - usually what you're told to do by a pressbuttirritant; Irritant - grrrr! Presbyterian - a conveniently named religion, used here because some religions insist their followers press your (door) buttons in the early hours on the weekends and are thus also irritating. Not necessarily the Presbyterians themselves you understand.
Phonejail
Created by: Tigger
Pronunciation: /FOHN-jeyl/
Sentence: Kevin felt like a convict trying to escape from the phonejail system that his health care service provider used, where he'd been 'serving time' for most of the afternoon, forced to listen to their repetitive announcements and trying to navigate the labyrinth of menu options and the 'Interactive Voice Renouncement' system they use to support their customers. If he heard the words "your call is very important to us" a couple more times, Kevin thought, he might just go throttle somebody, who would then need to speak with the health care service more desperately than he did now.
Etymology: Play on the word 'phonemail': Phone - shortening of telephone (from French, téléphone "far" + "sound") + Jail - a detention facility or correctional institution (Old French, jaole "a cage, prison")
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COMMENTS:
Love it Tigger...somedays your 'sentences' are longer than others and there is no pardon or time off for good behaviour! - Nosila, 2008-04-14: 19:37:00
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Hapline
Created by: youmustvotenato
Pronunciation: hap-line
Sentence: I called up customer service trying to resolve my issue. Navigating the Indo-audio maze, I eventually surrendered to the hapline and just hung up.
Etymology: hapless- ill fated + helpline- customer service via phone
Helpwhine
Created by: artr
Pronunciation: helpwīn
Sentence: Most every company has some version of a helpwhine. If you can push the right buttons, you are allowed to vent your frustrations to somebody who may or may not care what you have to say — somebody who may or may not speak discernible English. This assumes that you are ever able to find that lone human in the maze of options. ”Your Call is very important to... click”.
Etymology: help (assist) + whine (a feeble or petulant complaint)
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COMMENTS:
Dead on! - catgrin, 2010-06-21: 05:49:00
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Noperator
Created by: shoeshineboy
Pronunciation: NO-puh-ray-terr
Sentence:
Etymology: nope + operator
Digigeridoo
Created by: Stevenson0
Pronunciation: dij/i/uh-ree-doo
Sentence: Whenever I phone Bell Canada, our national phone company for service, I always encounter the digigeridoo system, which encompasses pressing hundreds of buttons which only produces unintelligible irritating voice activated drone sounds and than a very clear "Thank you for calling Bell".
Etymology: digit + didgeridoo (a musical instrument of Australian Aborigines that creates a low drone sound)
Comments:
Today's definition was suggested by silveryaspen. Thank you silveryaspen. ~ James
Jamagra - 2008-04-14: 07:25:00
I miss silveryaspen.
Mustang - 2008-04-15: 03:35:00
Where did silveryaspen go?
Silveryaspen has retired from active duty. But I am sure she is still creating Verboticisms in her head and saying wonderful things about all the Verbotomy Writers! ~ James
Mustang - 2008-04-16: 06:26:00
She is missed. She did indeed say some very nice things about Verbotomizers.
Today's definition was suggested by silveryaspen. Thank you silveryaspen. ~ James
readerwriter - 2009-05-20: 07:52:00
How long is summer vacation? Just trying to make plans...
We work flex hours, so it is variable. I will send out an announcement when we start anew. ~ James