Verboticisms

Created by: artr

Pronunciation: jentrēlevəl

Sentence: When Prince Gustuv found that the family fortune was not what it once was, it became clear that he would have to find a way to make some money. There are few jobs earmarked for the nobility so it looked he would have to downplay his rank and take a (gasp!) gentrylevel position. The interviewer tried hard to not burst out laughing when he saw "formerly know as Prince" on the resume.

Etymology: gentry (the class of people next below the nobility in position and birth) + level (a height or distance from the ground or another stated or understood base) play on entry-level

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COMMENTS:

superb - Jabberwocky, 2009-02-25: 14:40:00

Very good, and it made me laugh! - kateinkorea, 2009-02-26: 20:11:00

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Created by: readerwriter

Pronunciation: cellf-eh-fak-ting

Sentence: Downey Outman was so selfeffacting on his resume the Human Resources Manager, Noah Job, could hardly bear (or is it bare?) to read the words printed by hand on the soft double-ply tissues.

Etymology: A play on SELFEFFACING, humble or modest using FACT, knowledge or information based on real occurances

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COMMENTS:

very funny - Jabberwocky, 2009-02-25: 14:41:00

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Created by: galwaywegian

Pronunciation: rez you mey noht

Sentence: her resumaynot neglected to mention any of her achievements since high school apart from the mose killing stuff

Etymology: resume may not

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Created by: Jabberwocky

Pronunciation: dee/ny/I/grate

Sentence: In these tough economic times the only way I could get a job at the local McDonalds was to denyigreat, which was difficult because I am.

Etymology: deny + I + great + denigrate (disparage)

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Created by: Mustang

Pronunciation: dis-con-job-yu-LAY-shun

Sentence: With no possible chance to find another job in his highly specialized field, Alexander found it necessary to apply for jobs he once considered beneath himself and found a little disconjobulation was necessary in order to 'qualify' for such menial positions.

Etymology: A play on the word discombobulation, or discombobulate (To throw into a state of confusion)

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Created by: Negatrev

Pronunciation: Cer-re-dak-shun

Sentence: John really needed this menial job, so performed a little caredaction on his resume before submitting it.

Etymology: from Career (An occupation undertaken for a significant period of a person's life and with opportunities for progress.) and redact(Edit (text) for publication.)

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Created by: Nosila

Pronunciation: coor rik yu lum bee day

Sentence: His curriculum vitae read more like it had been made into a curriculumbidet...all the most recent events on his resume had been whitewashed and changed as though they never had happened or had not as much impact as one would have thought. When the recruiter asked him what skills he brought to the job of a waiter, Dubya as he was known for short, thought hard and long about it before responding. Okay, 10 seconds. "Well, I am good at taking orders from my Mom, Dad and Wife; I know how to run up a large tab; I can recommend Rice as a staple in any regime;Iraq up tips; I am good at nonsensical banter and if we get real busy, my two burly friends, who speak into their cufflinks, can lend a hand."

Etymology: Rhymes with Curriculum Vitae (a summary of your academic and work history) & Bidet (a basin for washing genitals and anal area)

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COMMENTS:

You are queen of the delightful denouement! His-tor-ically Funny! - silveryaspen, 2009-02-25: 02:11:00

Make that His-story-cally funny! - silveryaspen, 2009-02-25: 02:12:00

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Created by: feltcap

Pronunciation: ə-kŏm'plĭsh'mĭn

Sentence: She knew they would take one look at her resume and be worried about the safety of their own jobs. What she needed was an accomplishmin, minimizing her extensive over qualifications, just so should could get in the door.

Etymology: accomplishment - a special skill or ability acquired by training or practice, min - short for minimize, to reduce

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Created by: silveryaspen

Pronunciation: dumb me down

Sentence: Once upon a time, (for this is how all fairy tales begin) the king exiled Mr. Loang Gone Silver, the bank pirate, to the I'lland country, where he thought his stashed salary millions, awaited him in an off-shore account. King Blackberry, however, had used his magic compupowers to hi-hack the money back! Due to his infamy, Mr. Loang Gone Silver had to change his name, and hide the terrible fact he was once a note-orious bank president, and go looking for a job. His dummydown resume' led him to his new job, as the dumbme, down at the gift shop on the beach, where he became the strawboss and sole-seller of straw shoes and straw hats. Mr. Loang Gone Silver was given the ailias Mr. Long Gone Bigshot.

Etymology: DUMMY, DOWN which is synonymous with DUMB ME DOWN. Dummy - 1) a fake. -2) an offensive term that deliberately insults somebody's intelligence or credulity ( informal insult ). Dumb - of lesser intelligence. Down - at a lower level.

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COMMENTS:

Sometimes he moonlighted as a partner to Mr. BoJangles! - silveryaspen, 2009-02-25: 01:59:00

He said I dance now at every chance in honky tonks for drinks and tips But most the time I spend behind these county bars 'cause I drinks a bit He shook his head, and as he shook his head I heard someone ask him please Mr. Bojangles, Mr. Bojangles Mr. Bojangles, dance.. - silveryaspen, 2009-02-25: 02:01:00

his new job sounds nicer than being a bank president - Jabberwocky, 2009-02-25: 14:43:00

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Created by: artr

Pronunciation: rezəmēnēəl

Sentence: John had always been fascinated by those guys on the street corner flipping and spinning signs announcing the latest going-out-of-business sale. When his company announced bankruptcy he jumped at the chance to try out for such a job. To do so he had to have his secretary create a resumenial for him, leaving out such details as his MBA and doctorate in finance as well as his years as CEO. The only job experience he listed was part-time dance instructor, a job that helped him get through college some 30 years prior. Unfortunately he was beat out for the job by a former member of The Village People who had a few dance moves of his own.

Etymology: resume (a brief account of a person’s education, qualifications, and previous experience, typically sent with a job application) + menial (work) not requiring much skill and lacking prestige)

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