Verboticisms

Created by: readerwriter

Pronunciation: jak-grahm-mer

Sentence: In the Teacher's Room, out of her hearing, of course, the red-haired English teacher was referred to as "The Jackgrammar." Even the Physics teacher, a man of few words and much substance, laughed out loud at the label. The barrage of her daily correction was intolerable. Her red pen not only marked her students papers, but the notice board ("final grade's due on...") , the photocopy machine ("put xtra paper here.."), the Principle's (sic) suggestion box. Little did the teachers know that her boyfriend was a tattoo artist and that underneath her long-sleeved blouses, on the skin of her left forearm (unseen in the drawing), was a red and blue heart and the words, "Luv Conquers All."

Etymology: A play on "jackhammer," a pneumatic tool for breaking pavement and drilling rock.

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COMMENTS:

Laughed all the way through the sentence. Luv the way the etymology implies such people hit us like a hammar and break us. - silveryaspen, 2009-01-16: 10:08:00

Good one! - Nosila, 2009-01-16: 20:46:00

This one's destined to be a classic. - metrohumanx, 2009-01-21: 15:34:00

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Created by: bookowl

Pronunciation: par/si/drone/ee/us

Sentence: The Latin teacher was so parsidroneous that he put the class to sleep.

Etymology: parse + drone + parsimonious

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COMMENTS:

Excellent. The first time I read it I thought it was 'pardidronerous,' which brought to mind 'grammonerous.' Shame one gets only one submission, eh? - stache, 2008-03-26: 10:44:00

er, 'parSidronerous.' - stache, 2008-03-26: 10:45:00

You parsed 100/100! - OZZIEBOB, 2008-03-26: 17:43:00

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Created by: lplybon

Pronunciation: "Kun-EE-leeng-WIST"

Sentence: Everyone dreads the Thursday afternoon staff meeting: Bob, the office manager, makes what should be a 30-minute meeting addressing staff concerns a 2-hour lecture on correct grammar. Bob is such a cunnilinguist he spends more time correcting every little mistake people make when speaking than actually hearing what they are saying. If Bob reminds us that his name is a palindrome one more time, I swear I will scream!

Etymology: Combination of the words "cunning" and "linguist"

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COMMENTS:

Brilliant !!! - XMbIPb, 2010-06-02: 19:34:00

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Created by: DaddiezGyrl

Pronunciation: cun-ing-LEEN-gwest, n. cun-ing-LEEN-gus, v. intr.

Sentence: The unmistakable voice was none other than that of the town's Cunninglinguist; there to interrupt, correct and embarrass her.

Etymology: Blend of Cunnilingus+Cunning+Linguist Cunning: showing inventiveness and skill Linguist: a specialist in linguistics and or languages Also deriving from Cunnilingus: oral stimulation; usually involving the vulva or clitoris

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Created by: rikboyee

Pronunciation: prik-shun-air-ee

Sentence: as soon as i sent the email 'i'll see you their at 8pm', i knew that pricktionary would be on my case

Etymology: prick, dictionary

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COMMENTS:

Just something about this word that I like. - OZZIEBOB, 2008-03-26: 17:41:00

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Created by: leechdude

Pronunciation: gra-ma-garf

Sentence: youre such a gramagarf Dave

Etymology: grammar

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Created by: CanadianAndyCapp

Pronunciation: Tag-mem-ic-rect-if-i-Kay-shun-o-file

Sentence: Verbosity and gramatic eloquence cannot singularly direct the attentive comprehension of the average individual through auditory reception; without the proper corrective parameters being established by a fully qualified tagmemicrectificationophile!

Etymology: Tagmemic (Words) Rectification (Correction) Phile (To admire or be devoted to)

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COMMENTS:

indubitably, a singularly meritoreous and commendable candidate, no component occluded. - stache, 2008-03-26: 11:38:00

Alas, I lament my reiteration of your expression, "singularly." - stache, 2008-03-26: 11:43:00

Albeit unheeding, and contextually distinguishable. - stache, 2008-03-26: 11:45:00

One for "The Dictionary of Longest Verboticisms" - OZZIEBOB, 2008-03-26: 17:46:00

A preeminently jocular submission, (although hard to say in one breath). - Tigger, 2008-03-26: 22:16:00

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Created by: OZZIEBOB

Pronunciation: wurd-PREE-fekt

Sentence: "But this is madness. I am trying to stop this company from becoming a grammatical graveyard! Don't you realize it concerns every person in this country - and, moreover, in the greater part of the world to speak English perfectly" Behind his back, in a low voice, someone murmured, " Oh no, has someone split an infinitive again." Things were becoming tense as Bob, flushing crimson, started to leave the room. After few moments, someone said, "Hope that's the last of "Verndracula" for a while. "Verndracula", "Dipthong", "Cretaphor" and, quasi-officially, "The Wordprefect" were but a few pejoratives for Bob, whose habitual correcting of even the slightest grammatical error was driving his colleagues to demential declensia. However, they agreed, that it was a "critical period" in the company's history, and that it would be a "double negative" if they sat there tangentiality, and did nothing to put a "glottal stop" to his psycholinguistic punishment. Firstly they started to mutilate plurals, one boomerang became two "beemearang"; one cuckoo was two "cuckee". And, in an attempt, to render this onomatopedant almost apoplexic: 'Boo-hoo' became "bee-hee" and "boom" became "beem" Reaching for the mountain top of malapropisms, they uttered howlers such as a "let's not talk about tattoo subjects". Gradually, Bob began to realize that he had lost all "soap in his hole" when he began to slip, more and more, into spoonerisms - of course, that should be speenerism.

Etymology: Blend of WORD & PREFECT: School boy,especially in English Grammar schools, with responsibility for th discipline and "proper" behavior of other students.

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COMMENTS:

There's nothing like clouding up the waters with a good mixed metaphor, ya know! - arrrteest, 2008-03-26: 12:04:00

excellent sentence - Jabberwocky, 2008-03-26: 14:00:00

So many hysterical stories today! Very amusing. - Tigger, 2008-03-26: 22:29:00

Loved it...it left me almost comma-tose. Period. Doesn't a dipthong sound like the kind of low-cut bathing suit that Borat wore? Isn't a beemerang a carphone call for a yuppie? Cheers!(Is the singular form of that a cher?) - Nosila, 2008-03-26: 22:40:00

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Created by: Mustang

Pronunciation: par-SNIK-ety

Sentence: Being a stickler for grammar, Miriam was always quick to correct even the most insignificant grammatical blunders, and was especially critical of her boyfriend, Maxim, whose grammar skills were particularly weak.

Etymology: Blend of 'parse' (To break (a sentence) down into its component parts of speech with an explanation of the form, function, and syntactical relationship of each part. ) and 'persnickety' (Overparticular about trivial details; fastidious)

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COMMENTS:

Excellent! - silveryaspen, 2009-01-16: 02:09:00

love it - Jabberwocky, 2009-01-16: 16:14:00

He should MAXIMize Miriam's skills as his own personal editor...great word. - Nosila, 2009-01-16: 20:49:00

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Created by: jajsr

Pronunciation: Come-plane-i-z-i-shun-ist

Sentence: Delores was quite the complainisitionist. When her husband came down for breakfast and asked, "Is that grits I smell", she quickly replied, "you mean, ARE those grits I smell".

Etymology: Combination of "Complain" - to express grief, pain or discomfort; and "sition" from composition - an intellectual creation

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COMMENTS:

I'll bet he smelled them when the plate impacted his face. - metrohumanx, 2009-01-21: 15:39:00

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