Verboticisms

Created by: OZZIEBOB

Pronunciation: wurd-PREE-fekt

Sentence: "But this is madness. I am trying to stop this company from becoming a grammatical graveyard! Don't you realize it concerns every person in this country - and, moreover, in the greater part of the world to speak English perfectly" Behind his back, in a low voice, someone murmured, " Oh no, has someone split an infinitive again." Things were becoming tense as Bob, flushing crimson, started to leave the room. After few moments, someone said, "Hope that's the last of "Verndracula" for a while. "Verndracula", "Dipthong", "Cretaphor" and, quasi-officially, "The Wordprefect" were but a few pejoratives for Bob, whose habitual correcting of even the slightest grammatical error was driving his colleagues to demential declensia. However, they agreed, that it was a "critical period" in the company's history, and that it would be a "double negative" if they sat there tangentiality, and did nothing to put a "glottal stop" to his psycholinguistic punishment. Firstly they started to mutilate plurals, one boomerang became two "beemearang"; one cuckoo was two "cuckee". And, in an attempt, to render this onomatopedant almost apoplexic: 'Boo-hoo' became "bee-hee" and "boom" became "beem" Reaching for the mountain top of malapropisms, they uttered howlers such as a "let's not talk about tattoo subjects". Gradually, Bob began to realize that he had lost all "soap in his hole" when he began to slip, more and more, into spoonerisms - of course, that should be speenerism.

Etymology: Blend of WORD & PREFECT: School boy,especially in English Grammar schools, with responsibility for th discipline and "proper" behavior of other students.

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COMMENTS:

There's nothing like clouding up the waters with a good mixed metaphor, ya know! - arrrteest, 2008-03-26: 12:04:00

excellent sentence - Jabberwocky, 2008-03-26: 14:00:00

So many hysterical stories today! Very amusing. - Tigger, 2008-03-26: 22:29:00

Loved it...it left me almost comma-tose. Period. Doesn't a dipthong sound like the kind of low-cut bathing suit that Borat wore? Isn't a beemerang a carphone call for a yuppie? Cheers!(Is the singular form of that a cher?) - Nosila, 2008-03-26: 22:40:00

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Created by: bookowl

Pronunciation: par/si/drone/ee/us

Sentence: The Latin teacher was so parsidroneous that he put the class to sleep.

Etymology: parse + drone + parsimonious

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COMMENTS:

Excellent. The first time I read it I thought it was 'pardidronerous,' which brought to mind 'grammonerous.' Shame one gets only one submission, eh? - stache, 2008-03-26: 10:44:00

er, 'parSidronerous.' - stache, 2008-03-26: 10:45:00

You parsed 100/100! - OZZIEBOB, 2008-03-26: 17:43:00

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Created by: idavecook

Pronunciation: Graham-A-nay-tor

Sentence: That was the last time I sleep with that grammanator. Yes, I texted you ! I effing TEXTED you!

Etymology: Grammar & the governor of California

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Created by: mercury258

Pronunciation: gram-you-scribe

Sentence: Jenna: Where'd you go to? My water broke and I need a ride to the hospital! Sarah: I think you mean to say, "To where did you go?" Jenna: Quit grammuscribing me and give me a ride!

Etymology: From Grammar and to Prescribe

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Created by: karenanne

Pronunciation: lek ZAK tih tood

Sentence: Lexie's constant correcting of what everyone was saying was really wearing thin. I told her I was chomping at the bit to get out of there because I found her lexactitude so annoying, and she responded, "Actually, it's 'champing at the bit,' not 'chomping.'" I told her something she could chomp as I was leaving.

Etymology: lex- (prefix meaning "word") + exactitude

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COMMENTS:

Lexie...love it! - Nosila, 2010-06-02: 23:41:00

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Created by: silveryaspen

Pronunciation: Rek ti fy

Sentence: Killsay was excellent at morphemes and constituents. He was born a Grammar. Killsay was very in tense, and always in the accusative. He was overly generous in sharing his grammar. Killsay would restruckture the speecch of any one. No was was safe from his guydance (guidance) ... shuffling his feet, waving his finger, tweaking your verbose, nitpicking through one's words ... he would wrectify everything said.

Etymology: RECTIFY, WRECK. RECTIFY - correct, amend, revise. WRECK - to damage and destroy with too much revision. --- (Morphemes are basic word-building units. Constituents are sentence-building units. They are true grammatical words, not verbotomies.) Killsay Grammar is a pun on actor Kelsey Grammer, star of the tv show Frasier.

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COMMENTS:

Bet she had a bad rectutation.... - Mustang, 2009-01-16: 04:17:00

After she irritates enough people, she might turn a wreckluse. - mweinmann, 2009-01-16: 08:12:00

Thank you for the clever comments. But Killsay is a he ... not a she! Men are guilty of doing this, too! - silveryaspen, 2009-01-16: 10:03:00

nice - Jabberwocky, 2009-01-16: 16:16:00

Killsay Grammar...love it! - Nosila, 2009-01-16: 20:43:00

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Created by: artr

Pronunciation: grampä

Sentence: You could always count on Grammpa to correct his grandchildren whenever they spoke. Sometimes they could barely utter a word or two before he would jump in to rephrase what they had just said. Eventually the children stopped talking at all when he was around. Some think that was his goal in the first place.

Etymology: grammar (the whole system and structure of a language or of languages in general, usually taken as consisting of syntax and morphology) + grandpa (one’s grandfather)

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Created by: lplybon

Pronunciation: "Kun-EE-leeng-WIST"

Sentence: Everyone dreads the Thursday afternoon staff meeting: Bob, the office manager, makes what should be a 30-minute meeting addressing staff concerns a 2-hour lecture on correct grammar. Bob is such a cunnilinguist he spends more time correcting every little mistake people make when speaking than actually hearing what they are saying. If Bob reminds us that his name is a palindrome one more time, I swear I will scream!

Etymology: Combination of the words "cunning" and "linguist"

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COMMENTS:

Brilliant !!! - XMbIPb, 2010-06-02: 19:34:00

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Created by: galwaywegian

Pronunciation: pedd ant

Sentence: Hilary , a complete pedaunt, had driven all of her nephews to totally reject education with her "little chats"

Etymology: pedant, aunt

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COMMENTS:

pedant - how nicely arcane... :) - otherguy, 2009-01-16: 04:50:00

Exceptional. Perfectly fits the definition. - silveryaspen, 2009-01-16: 09:34:00

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Created by: youmustvotenato

Pronunciation: F-11

Sentence: Who cares if I said "me and my dog" instead of "my dog and I"? Don't be such an effeleven!

Etymology: from the keyboard shortcut for spellchecker

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