Verboticisms

Created by: readerwriter

Pronunciation: jak-grahm-mer

Sentence: In the Teacher's Room, out of her hearing, of course, the red-haired English teacher was referred to as "The Jackgrammar." Even the Physics teacher, a man of few words and much substance, laughed out loud at the label. The barrage of her daily correction was intolerable. Her red pen not only marked her students papers, but the notice board ("final grade's due on...") , the photocopy machine ("put xtra paper here.."), the Principle's (sic) suggestion box. Little did the teachers know that her boyfriend was a tattoo artist and that underneath her long-sleeved blouses, on the skin of her left forearm (unseen in the drawing), was a red and blue heart and the words, "Luv Conquers All."

Etymology: A play on "jackhammer," a pneumatic tool for breaking pavement and drilling rock.

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COMMENTS:

Laughed all the way through the sentence. Luv the way the etymology implies such people hit us like a hammar and break us. - silveryaspen, 2009-01-16: 10:08:00

Good one! - Nosila, 2009-01-16: 20:46:00

This one's destined to be a classic. - metrohumanx, 2009-01-21: 15:34:00

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Created by: Nosila

Pronunciation: sin tax

Sentence: Joel knew that contant correction of his dreadful grammar by the lovely Davina was the sintax he had to pay for her affections.

Etymology: Sin (commit a sin; violate a law of God or a moral law) & Tax (set or determine the amount of (a payment such as a fine);use to the limit) & Syntax (the grammatical arrangement of words in sentences)

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Created by: badsnudge

Pronunciation: lin-truss-tee

Sentence: When I told her it was 'an' elephant and not 'uh' elephant, she told me that I was a nal. "Certainly not. I am merely a humble lynnetrustee." I replied.

Etymology: Lynne Truss (author of Eats, Shoots, and Leaves) + trustee

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Created by: galwaywegian

Pronunciation: pedd ant

Sentence: emma was a pedaunt, she took after her gramma

Etymology: pedant, aunt

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COMMENTS:

it's all relative...good one! - Nosila, 2010-06-02: 23:43:00

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Created by: artr

Pronunciation: gram-puh-lees

Sentence: Mindy is sorry she ever introduced her Grampa to FaceBook. Worse yet is that she friended him. He has become the grammpolice, correcting her every misspelling, every errant comma or apostrophe. Her friends are leaving fewer and fewer comments because he has started "helping" them too.

Etymology: Grammar (the study of the way the sentences of a language are constructed) + Grampa (grandfather) + Police (an organized civil force for maintaining order, preventing and detecting crime, and enforcing the laws)

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Created by: artr

Pronunciation: gramerkraker

Sentence: James hates e-mail, not for its intrusive nature but the way most people use it. Worse yet is text messaging. (He refuses to call it texting) When someone sends him a message, he replies with a corrected edition of the original message with commas, hyphens, spelling and proper verb tense. He won't respond to the content until the originator sends it back in its corrected form. His friends have started calling him a grammarcracker. He is amused by the term but won't actually type it because it isn't in the dictionary.

Etymology: grammar (the whole system and structure of a language) + cracker (a fine example of something)

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COMMENTS:

I h8 txtn 2. - wayoffcenter, 2009-01-16: 04:46:00

And a very nice play on graham crackers! - silveryaspen, 2009-01-16: 10:12:00

Show them no Grammercy! - Nosila, 2009-01-16: 20:44:00

Those purists can really contaminate our ebonics. - metrohumanx, 2009-01-21: 15:35:00

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Created by: diyan627

Pronunciation: gram-a-mend

Sentence: Rohit was a grammamend I couldn't date, much less tolerate in any setting. So what? -I meant "couldn't bear it" rather than "couldn't bare it". He corrected me in the instant messenger, and my replying with "Ahh" was not good enough. He went on to say that he can't stand people who can't handle criticism, and he thinks I'm petty. He wouldn't move on until I cyber-bowed down before him and thanked him for putting me on the right path. Quite bizarre. At first I didn't mind the correction at all..It didn't even phase me.. It was his insistence for recognition of his brilliance that was the clincher! And he actually thought I'd go out with him for a first-meet after that.

Etymology: grammar + amend

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COMMENTS:

Sounds like a true story. [By the way, you mixed verb tenses in one of your sentences. — Yours Truly, Rohit] Just kidding, diyan. - Tigger, 2008-03-26: 23:10:00

Don't worry. I'm not your [hopefully fictional] linguistalker. - Tigger, 2008-03-26: 23:15:00

Tigger, "linguistalker" is correct! The linguadventure is a true tale. hahaha... And he did keep calling me and IMing me after that one, but I linguiblocked him. - diyan627, 2008-03-27: 11:48:00

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Created by: metrohumanx

Pronunciation: cur-RECT-ALL-linguine

Sentence: Maxine and Clem were deeply in like. Clem was always sanguine and adored Maxine's crimson clothing and gutsy attitude. Maxine had moxie, but she was constantly irritated by Clem's use of the word "less" instead of "fewer". Maxine flew into a rage when she heard someone say "podiums" instead of the correct plural form, "podia"...Yes, Clem may have been an unsophisticated proto-boor, but Maxine was an unbearable CORRECTOLINGWEENIE -and an unwanted voluntary proofreader for all the world's bad grammar. When they inevitably broke up, Maxine found that she had less friends than before, and Clem had fewer fun, despite shaving off his sideburns and growing a unibrow.

Etymology: Okay, try to bear with me on this one..........CORRECTOL+LINGuist+WEENIE= CORRECTOLINGWEENIE...CORRECT:to make or set right,to amend,to alter or adjust so as to bring to some standard,to point out usually for amendment the errors or faults,to punish (as a child) with a view to reforming or improving; Middle English, from Latin correctus, past participle of corrigere, from com- + regere to lead straight...ALL:the whole amount, quantity or extent of,as much as possible; Middle English all, al, from Old English eall; akin to Old High German all...CORRECTOL: The Woman's Gentle Laxative." Its slogan: "For Gentle, Dependable overnight relief”...LINGUIST:a person who believes they are accomplished in languages;Latin lingua language, tongue...LINGUINE: a hot Italian dish, tasty and hard to resist;Italian, plural of linguina, diminutive of lingua tongue, from Latin...WEENIE:alteration of wienie, Informal. A wiener; Slang. A person who is regarded as being dorklike yet not subject to ordinary social inhibitions (tweaked).

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COMMENTS:

http://drminz.com/v4/random4.html - metrohumanx, 2009-01-16: 01:41:00

SAY IT! Toy boat. Toy boat. Toy boat. Toy boat. Toy boat. Toy boat. - metrohumanx, 2009-01-16: 08:03:00

Your etymology is logical, Mr. Spock! - Nosila, 2009-01-16: 20:50:00

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Created by: youmustvotenato

Pronunciation: F-11

Sentence: Who cares if I said "me and my dog" instead of "my dog and I"? Don't be such an effeleven!

Etymology: from the keyboard shortcut for spellchecker

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Created by: lplybon

Pronunciation: "Kun-EE-leeng-WIST"

Sentence: Everyone dreads the Thursday afternoon staff meeting: Bob, the office manager, makes what should be a 30-minute meeting addressing staff concerns a 2-hour lecture on correct grammar. Bob is such a cunnilinguist he spends more time correcting every little mistake people make when speaking than actually hearing what they are saying. If Bob reminds us that his name is a palindrome one more time, I swear I will scream!

Etymology: Combination of the words "cunning" and "linguist"

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COMMENTS:

Brilliant !!! - XMbIPb, 2010-06-02: 19:34:00

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