Verboticisms

Created by: readerwriter

Pronunciation: jak-grahm-mer

Sentence: In the Teacher's Room, out of her hearing, of course, the red-haired English teacher was referred to as "The Jackgrammar." Even the Physics teacher, a man of few words and much substance, laughed out loud at the label. The barrage of her daily correction was intolerable. Her red pen not only marked her students papers, but the notice board ("final grade's due on...") , the photocopy machine ("put xtra paper here.."), the Principle's (sic) suggestion box. Little did the teachers know that her boyfriend was a tattoo artist and that underneath her long-sleeved blouses, on the skin of her left forearm (unseen in the drawing), was a red and blue heart and the words, "Luv Conquers All."

Etymology: A play on "jackhammer," a pneumatic tool for breaking pavement and drilling rock.

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COMMENTS:

Laughed all the way through the sentence. Luv the way the etymology implies such people hit us like a hammar and break us. - silveryaspen, 2009-01-16: 10:08:00

Good one! - Nosila, 2009-01-16: 20:46:00

This one's destined to be a classic. - metrohumanx, 2009-01-21: 15:34:00

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Created by: petaj

Pronunciation: gram-a-nag

Sentence: Grandma's grammarnaggery had galled her grandchildren greatly so they gratefully agreed to greet Grandpa and give up Grandma's gramma pie. (Australian version of pumpkin pie)

Etymology: grammar + nag

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COMMENTS:

good gracious - gallons of gs - Jabberwocky, 2008-03-26: 11:43:00

Gorgeous! - Jamagra, 2008-03-26: 15:09:00

Good one. - OZZIEBOB, 2008-03-26: 17:25:00

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Created by: Mustang

Pronunciation: par-SNIK-ety

Sentence: Being a stickler for grammar, Miriam was always quick to correct even the most insignificant grammatical blunders, and was especially critical of her boyfriend, Maxim, whose grammar skills were particularly weak.

Etymology: Blend of 'parse' (To break (a sentence) down into its component parts of speech with an explanation of the form, function, and syntactical relationship of each part. ) and 'persnickety' (Overparticular about trivial details; fastidious)

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COMMENTS:

Excellent! - silveryaspen, 2009-01-16: 02:09:00

love it - Jabberwocky, 2009-01-16: 16:14:00

He should MAXIMize Miriam's skills as his own personal editor...great word. - Nosila, 2009-01-16: 20:49:00

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Created by: arrrteest

Pronunciation: Gram-stop-oh

Sentence: Maude was a good wife. She tollerated and suffered throught many of her pet peeves about Larry, but the one she couldn't pass up was his poor language. He constantly spewed out mixed tenses as often as he mixed metaphors, and noun-verb agreement would always get lost somewhere in a sentence. Larry paid as much attention to what he said as much as she how much she corrected him. He just laughed it off as he called her his little "Gramstapo."

Etymology: Gram -from grammar + gestap - the Nazi secret police

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COMMENTS:

gestapo, that is. (Consider this a preemptive correction for the missing "o" to avoid any wannabe gramstapos out there from pouncing on me. lol - arrrteest, 2008-03-26: 12:42:00

Or, would it be called "gramstapoes?" - arrrteest, 2008-03-26: 12:42:00

or "gramstopi?" - stache, 2008-03-26: 12:55:00

Larry should not forget, "We ask the questions!" - OZZIEBOB, 2008-03-26: 17:34:00

Ja, gutes wort (yes, good word). Did you realize that you can 'Edit' your entry arrrteest? - Tigger, 2008-03-26: 22:54:00

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Created by: metrohumanx

Pronunciation: cur-RECT-ALL-linguine

Sentence: Maxine and Clem were deeply in like. Clem was always sanguine and adored Maxine's crimson clothing and gutsy attitude. Maxine had moxie, but she was constantly irritated by Clem's use of the word "less" instead of "fewer". Maxine flew into a rage when she heard someone say "podiums" instead of the correct plural form, "podia"...Yes, Clem may have been an unsophisticated proto-boor, but Maxine was an unbearable CORRECTOLINGWEENIE -and an unwanted voluntary proofreader for all the world's bad grammar. When they inevitably broke up, Maxine found that she had less friends than before, and Clem had fewer fun, despite shaving off his sideburns and growing a unibrow.

Etymology: Okay, try to bear with me on this one..........CORRECTOL+LINGuist+WEENIE= CORRECTOLINGWEENIE...CORRECT:to make or set right,to amend,to alter or adjust so as to bring to some standard,to point out usually for amendment the errors or faults,to punish (as a child) with a view to reforming or improving; Middle English, from Latin correctus, past participle of corrigere, from com- + regere to lead straight...ALL:the whole amount, quantity or extent of,as much as possible; Middle English all, al, from Old English eall; akin to Old High German all...CORRECTOL: The Woman's Gentle Laxative." Its slogan: "For Gentle, Dependable overnight relief”...LINGUIST:a person who believes they are accomplished in languages;Latin lingua language, tongue...LINGUINE: a hot Italian dish, tasty and hard to resist;Italian, plural of linguina, diminutive of lingua tongue, from Latin...WEENIE:alteration of wienie, Informal. A wiener; Slang. A person who is regarded as being dorklike yet not subject to ordinary social inhibitions (tweaked).

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COMMENTS:

http://drminz.com/v4/random4.html - metrohumanx, 2009-01-16: 01:41:00

SAY IT! Toy boat. Toy boat. Toy boat. Toy boat. Toy boat. Toy boat. - metrohumanx, 2009-01-16: 08:03:00

Your etymology is logical, Mr. Spock! - Nosila, 2009-01-16: 20:50:00

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Created by: mweinmann

Pronunciation: speek - ur - tweek - ur

Sentence: Margerie could not listen to anyone without "tweaking" their statements so that the speaker's grammar and voice inflection were correct in the context of the sentence. Her family and friends became loath to even talk to her for fear of being corrected. Other than being a speakertweaker, Margerie's biggest compulsion was playing Verbotomy every day and checking her scores every hour.

Etymology: Speaker (someone who expresses in language; someone who talks) + tweaker (a person who tweaks something) tweak (fine-tune: adjust finely)

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COMMENTS:

nice one! - galwaywegian, 2009-01-16: 11:41:00

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Created by: karenanne

Pronunciation: lek ZAK tih tood

Sentence: Lexie's constant correcting of what everyone was saying was really wearing thin. I told her I was chomping at the bit to get out of there because I found her lexactitude so annoying, and she responded, "Actually, it's 'champing at the bit,' not 'chomping.'" I told her something she could chomp as I was leaving.

Etymology: lex- (prefix meaning "word") + exactitude

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COMMENTS:

Lexie...love it! - Nosila, 2010-06-02: 23:41:00

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Created by: Northwoodsman

Pronunciation: kŏn'vər-sā'shā'nəl

Sentence: She is so conversatianal that a small chat turns into an English lesson.

Etymology: conversation + anal-retentive

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COMMENTS:

kinda hard to say, but it hits the mark, I must say. - stache, 2008-03-26: 14:03:00

funny word - Jabberwocky, 2008-03-26: 16:04:00

"Teaching is the fine art of imparting knowledge without possessing it. " Nice word. - OZZIEBOB, 2008-03-26: 18:00:00

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Created by: OZZIEBOB

Pronunciation: wurd-PREE-fekt

Sentence: "But this is madness. I am trying to stop this company from becoming a grammatical graveyard! Don't you realize it concerns every person in this country - and, moreover, in the greater part of the world to speak English perfectly" Behind his back, in a low voice, someone murmured, " Oh no, has someone split an infinitive again." Things were becoming tense as Bob, flushing crimson, started to leave the room. After few moments, someone said, "Hope that's the last of "Verndracula" for a while. "Verndracula", "Dipthong", "Cretaphor" and, quasi-officially, "The Wordprefect" were but a few pejoratives for Bob, whose habitual correcting of even the slightest grammatical error was driving his colleagues to demential declensia. However, they agreed, that it was a "critical period" in the company's history, and that it would be a "double negative" if they sat there tangentiality, and did nothing to put a "glottal stop" to his psycholinguistic punishment. Firstly they started to mutilate plurals, one boomerang became two "beemearang"; one cuckoo was two "cuckee". And, in an attempt, to render this onomatopedant almost apoplexic: 'Boo-hoo' became "bee-hee" and "boom" became "beem" Reaching for the mountain top of malapropisms, they uttered howlers such as a "let's not talk about tattoo subjects". Gradually, Bob began to realize that he had lost all "soap in his hole" when he began to slip, more and more, into spoonerisms - of course, that should be speenerism.

Etymology: Blend of WORD & PREFECT: School boy,especially in English Grammar schools, with responsibility for th discipline and "proper" behavior of other students.

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COMMENTS:

There's nothing like clouding up the waters with a good mixed metaphor, ya know! - arrrteest, 2008-03-26: 12:04:00

excellent sentence - Jabberwocky, 2008-03-26: 14:00:00

So many hysterical stories today! Very amusing. - Tigger, 2008-03-26: 22:29:00

Loved it...it left me almost comma-tose. Period. Doesn't a dipthong sound like the kind of low-cut bathing suit that Borat wore? Isn't a beemerang a carphone call for a yuppie? Cheers!(Is the singular form of that a cher?) - Nosila, 2008-03-26: 22:40:00

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Created by: lplybon

Pronunciation: "Kun-EE-leeng-WIST"

Sentence: Everyone dreads the Thursday afternoon staff meeting: Bob, the office manager, makes what should be a 30-minute meeting addressing staff concerns a 2-hour lecture on correct grammar. Bob is such a cunnilinguist he spends more time correcting every little mistake people make when speaking than actually hearing what they are saying. If Bob reminds us that his name is a palindrome one more time, I swear I will scream!

Etymology: Combination of the words "cunning" and "linguist"

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COMMENTS:

Brilliant !!! - XMbIPb, 2010-06-02: 19:34:00

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