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'Let me hold the door for you...'

DEFINITION: n., A gallant gesture which does not produce the desired effect because of poor execution. v., To offer a small gesture of assistance, which backfires as you trip over your own kind intentions.

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Verboticisms

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Failgesture

Created by: Kevicky50

Pronunciation:

Sentence: Harold tried to get close to Jessica by carrying her bags, but the failgesture only ended in breakage.

Etymology:

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Missistance

Created by: mustkeepsanity

Pronunciation: mis-sis-tans

Sentence: When Cindy dropped her pencil Fred bent down to pick it up for her. The problem was that Cindy also bent to get it, and Fred ended up headbutting her in the nose. He's since learned not to offer his missistance to others.

Etymology: miss+assistance miss (To fail to accomplish or achieve) assistance (Aid, help)

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Floormeetface

Created by: vasunlover

Pronunciation:

Sentence: I went to open the door for him, and by golly, oops, floormeetface.

Etymology:

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Majestiklutz

Created by: dredryder

Pronunciation:

Sentence: "It is a wonder he has any face left; he is so prone to majestiklution!"

Etymology: too obvious - "majestic" and "klutch" (a "klutz" who panics in a pinch)

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Magnanamoops

Created by: libwen

Pronunciation: mag 'nan a moopz

Sentence: If it weren't for his spectacular magnanamoops while trying to refill Jill's wine glass, Greg would certainly be on a second date right now.

Etymology: magnanamous + oops

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Oafsistance

Created by: purpleartichokes

Pronunciation: oaf-sis-tins

Sentence: "Let me be of oafsistance" were the last words she heard before sitting down in the chair that was no longer there.

Etymology: oaf, assistance

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COMMENTS:

petaj Oaffer heavens sakes - petaj, 2007-10-26: 09:22:00

funny - Jabberwocky, 2007-10-26: 12:06:00

Clever! - mryder, 2007-10-26: 15:28:00

Ilike it a lot. Good sentence,too! - OZZIEBOB, 2007-10-28: 02:49:00

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Misstention

Created by: Nosila

Pronunciation: miss ten shun

Sentence: Leonard always meant well, but in his hurry to impress the fairer sex, his good deeds turned into the misstention kind. His awkward attempts at basic gallantry often came back to bite him. For instance, he tried to impress Mary Jane, the cute new receptionist by holding the revolving door open, only to get his head caught in it. Then when they got up to the office, he leaned on the wall to talk to her and set off the fire alarm. The final misstention was when he bought her a nice hot latte and accidently spilled it all over her new dress, computer keyboard and important report the boss was waiting on. Yes, sometimes the road to Hell is indeed paved with misstentions...

Etymology: Miss (fail to perceive or to catch with the senses or the mind;fail to reach or get to) & Intention (an act of intending; a volition that you intend to carry out;an anticipated outcome that is intended or that guides your planned actions)

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Jestugh

Created by: TJayzz

Pronunciation: Jess-t-ure

Sentence: Harry had fancied Suzie for ages, so when he saw that she was having troube starting her car he swiftly offered to help. He began push the car and soon got it going , unfortunately he pushed so hard that he fell over and landed headfirst in a muddy puddle. As he stood up all he could here was Suzie's hysterical laughter, it was a good thing that his face was covered in mud so that she could not see his embarrassment.

Etymology: Jest(Joke)+ Ugh(an exclamation of horror) = Jestugh (play on gesture)

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Jesture

Created by: Nosila

Pronunciation: jest chur

Sentence: While trying to impress Inga on their first date, Jeremy used all his polite charms to ensure she thought him a true gentleman. Allowing her to go first buit trying to stay with her, he got caught in the fast moving doorway. Although his intention was good, his attention was not and he got caught in the door. "Son of a gun", she thought. "His jesture proved to me that he does not know how to handle a revolver. I guess he is not quite of the calibre I thought he should be".

Etymology: Jest (act in a funny or teasing way;activity characterized by good humor)& Gesture ( something done as an indication of intention;show, express or direct through movement)

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Fauxcilitation

Created by: milorush

Pronunciation: (n.) fō-sĭl'ĭ-tā'shən; (tr. v.) fō-sĭl'ĭ-tāt'

Sentence: Henri's poor reflexes and terrible eyesight usually turn his eager attempts to help his friends into nightmarish and dangerous moments of fauxcilitation which usually finish up at the local emergency room.

Etymology: Faux = from faux pas = blunder + [fac]ilitation = The act of making easy or easier.

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COMMENTS:

A shade of meaning might include a subconscious lack of desire to actually help out, which might lead to a purposeful poor or "fake" ("faux") effort to assist. - milorush, 2007-10-26: 07:04:00

A shade of meaning might include a subconscious lack of desire to actually help out, which might lead to a purposefully poor or "fake" ("faux") effort to assist. - milorush, 2007-10-26: 07:05:00

Interesting and good blend! - OZZIEBOB, 2007-10-28: 02:28:00

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Comments:

Verbotomy Verbotomy - 2007-10-26: 00:30:00
Today's definition was suggested by ErWenn. Thank you ErWenn! ~ James

petaj petaj - 2007-10-26: 04:21:00
After you. No after you. No after you. No after yooooooeeeeouwwww!

Kevcom - 2007-10-26: 07:38:00
Awesome cartoon James! That is so funny - I was almost dyin' of laughter of the expression on the guys face...

Verbotomy Verbotomy - 2007-10-26: 10:05:00
Thanks to Kevcom and Petaj for your hurteous thoughts and magnanimistakian clobbergestures ~ James

Lidipop - 2007-10-26: 10:19:00
I actually printed this one out...it's so good, well done!!!

Verbotomy Verbotomy - 2007-10-26: 17:46:00
We must not forget to thank ErWenn again for his generous courteslip. ~ James

purpleartichokes - 2007-10-26: 18:57:00
Yes, thank you ErWenn and James. Fabulous contributions from you two!

yellowbird - 2008-09-24: 11:49:00
Haven't we seen this definition before?

petaj - 2008-09-26: 04:19:00
Yep - looking forward to some new ones

Verbotomy Verbotomy - 2010-02-23: 00:10:00
Today's definition was suggested by ErWenn. Thank you ErWenn. ~ James