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'This may hurt a little. So tell me, how are your kids?'

DEFINITION: n., Forced small talk used by professional caregivers to put patients at ease. (Not usually effective.) v., To ask insipid questions while subjecting a person to an intimate, awkward or painful procedure.

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Verboticisms

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Qandaches

Created by: Nosila

Pronunciation: kew and ayks

Sentence: Dr. Yvonne is one multi-tasking dentist. She can mask up, get both fists in your mouth simultaneously, probe and scrape and poke and pull and all the while, ask what you thought about medical/political/societal and philosophical issues, while giving you the benefit of her own thoughts on each topic and understanding your feeble, numb, unintelligible answers. At the same time, she gives verbal notes to her dental assistant for your file, as she tells her what she needs next and calculates your bill and how much your insurance will pay for each treatment. Yes, she has QandAches down to a fine science. No wonder they call her Leader of the Plaque!

Etymology: Q and A (Questions and Answers)& Aches (a dull persistent (usually moderately intense) pain; be the source of pain;feel physical pain)

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Splatterpatter

Created by: galwaywegian

Pronunciation: sp latt ur patt ur

Sentence: She engaged in constant splatterpatter, interjecting euphemisms and repatree through the constant stream of gristle and gore

Etymology: patter, splatter

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Zitchat

Created by: crmow

Pronunciation: zit-chat

Sentence: Donna scheduled two medical appointments on the same day. At the dermatologist, she zitchatted about the weather. While having her mammogram, she titchatted with the technician about her pets.

Etymology: zit (pimple) + chitchat

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Unnecesspeak

Created by: scrabbelicious

Pronunciation: Un-ne-ciss-speak

Sentence: I longed for a speedy outcome which I knew was unlikely due to a constant barrage of unnecesspeak.

Etymology: Unnecessary Speak.

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Therapalaver

karenanne

Created by: karenanne

Pronunciation: THAYR ah puh LAV er

Sentence: Believe it or not, the exercises for my burned hand weren't nearly as painful as the therapalaver I had to be subjected to during the treatments. At least talking about the record-setting snowfall in our area, how difficult it was to drive to the clinic, etc., gave me about two weeks off from listening to celebrity gossip....

Etymology: therapy + palaver (superfluous or idle talk)

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Anesthymology

Created by: Mustang

Pronunciation: Uh-nes-thym-ology

Sentence: The dentist absentmindedly practiced anesthymology when he attempted to distract his patients while he worked.

Etymology: Anesthesia- ology

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Medigab

Created by: Stevenson0

Pronunciation: med/i/gab

Sentence: Dentist's medigab is designed to move the patient's attention past the procedure so they will be somewhat more relaxed.

Etymology: MEDIGAB - noun - from - MEDICAL + GAB

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Vexferous

Created by: alyssatassi

Pronunciation: vex/fer /us

Sentence: He was the most Vexfurus dentist as he shoved the drill in my mouth

Etymology: vex comes from the word vexatatious which means troubling the nerves or peace of mins ferus comes from vociferous which means loud and insistent.

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Sedababble

Created by: tdhall56

Pronunciation: SED a bab bul

Sentence: Dr. House failed the class "Sedababble 101" in med school.

Etymology: sed(ative) babble

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Hospitalitalk

Created by: Koekbroer

Pronunciation: hos.pit.al.lee.torque

Sentence:

Etymology: hospital, talk

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Comments:

Verbotomy Verbotomy - 2007-10-16: 00:01:00
Today's definition was suggested by remistram. Thank you again remistram! ~ James

OZZIEBOB - 2007-10-16: 05:32:00
Great definition and cartoon. Recently, I have had the need to attend a variety of medical professionals, and find that they engage in a fair bit of small talk. Dentists , by far, chatter and, also, seem to recommend the use of a wide range of products.

Verbotomy Verbotomy - 2007-10-16: 17:54:00
Thanks Ozziebob! I too have been at the dentist and walked out not only with a sore tooth, but also with a sore ear. ~ James

lumina - 2008-09-11: 00:50:00
whynecology

lumina - 2008-09-11: 00:56:00
Sorry bout that...didn't meant to comment...hit wrong button.

Verbotomy Verbotomy - 2010-02-11: 00:03:00
Today's definition was suggested by remistram. Thank you remistram. ~ James