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'Are you just browsing?'

DEFINITION: n. An overbearing or pushy salesperson who makes you want to leave a store rather than look around and buy something. v. To aggressively sell something to someone who doesn't want it.

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Verboticisms

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Counterassistant

Created by: katytee

Pronunciation:

Sentence: Tired of being trailed round the store by counterassistants, Ed resolved from that moment to do all his shopping online in his underwear and eating pizza , free to scratch himself and 'look a bit too scruffy for Jenners' to his heart's content.

Etymology: Someone offering counter-productive assistance (Counter + assistance, with a nod in the direction of persistent)

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COMMENTS:

It rolls from the tongue lightly... - Scattercat, 2007-05-20: 19:34:00

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Salessquasher

Created by: lpietroforte

Pronunciation:

Sentence:

Etymology:

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Sirenade

artr

Created by: artr

Pronunciation: sīrəˈnād

Sentence: Melody is a wonderful salesperson. Even her detractors have to admit she is hard to resist. Once she starts her sirenade, the sale is all but final. The first verse usually starts with **How may I help You Today?** The final chorus... **Come see us again**. Her song can be soothing, flirting, or annoying but always unrelenting. Anyone who wanders too close buys something. A customer once tried to return an ugly green sweater and returned home with two sweaters, one blue and one yellow. **Blue and yellow make green** made sense when Melody said it.

Etymology: siren (Greek Mythology each of a number of women or winged creatures whose singing lured unwary sailors onto rocks) + serenade (a piece of music sung or played in the open air, typically by a man at night under the window of his lover)

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Ipecaclerk

Created by: heartnsoul

Pronunciation: ip/i/cac/lurk

Sentence: I thought I had made it through the perfume department undetected, but when I turned down the next aisle, there stood a grinning ipecaclerk with her finger on the trigger of a perfume bottle!

Etymology: ipecac (from Syrup of Ipecac) + clerk (the kind who tends to also lurk)

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COMMENTS:

Aaah! Run! - heartnsoul, 2007-05-16: 19:43:00

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Salesdouche

Created by: Paulefinch

Pronunciation: sails-doosh'

Sentence: I was going to buy a few new cds, but the salesdouche just made me want to leave.

Etymology: salesman+douchebag

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Impeddler

Created by: Discoveria

Pronunciation: imm-PED-lur

Sentence: The impeddler was so obnoxious that I stormed out of the shop, accidentally breaking some cheap plastic products on my way out.

Etymology: impede (to obstruct or hinder) + peddler (a travelling seller of goods)

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Commissionary

Created by: toadstool57

Pronunciation: com-mission-ary

Sentence: David is a blood thirsty commissionary, attacking any unsuspecting customer that might stroll into his section at the electonics store. His tactics are ruthless, just to make the "sale" and get the commission.

Etymology: commission/missionary, as in propagator of religion or a relentless soldier

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COMMENTS:

I wonder if he always assumes the commissionary position - Jabberwocky, 2007-05-16: 12:29:00

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Samplassault

Created by: texmom

Pronunciation: sam-pull-ass-alt

Sentence: She left the store rather than be subjected to samplassault again.

Etymology: sample - small portion of item assault - attempt to force a person

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Salesassassin

Created by: purpleartichokes

Pronunciation: sailz-ah-sass-in

Sentence: Bob was only in the store for two minutes when he was accosted by a salesassassin who tried to coax him into buying that smart pink sweater that was all the rage on verbotomy.com.

Etymology: sales associate, assassin

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COMMENTS:

petaj That saleassassin ought to get the customerswervist of the month award. - petaj, 2007-05-16: 05:09:00

That salesassassin sounds like a real courtesyjerk. - Clayton, 2007-05-16: 14:54:00

I love the huge number of "S"s - think "The Salesassassin sells seashells on the shore"... - duchessella, 2007-05-17: 03:27:00

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Floorstalker

Created by: Stevenson0

Pronunciation: floor/stalk/er

Sentence: Commissioned salespeople are licensed floorstalkers who creep me out of the store.

Etymology: floorwalker + stalker

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COMMENTS:

We have a winner! - Clayton, 2007-05-16: 14:57:00

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Comments:

Verbotomy Verbotomy - 2007-05-16: 03:36:00
Today's definition was suggested by iwasatripwire. Thank you iwasatripwire! ~ James

Verbotomy Verbotomy - 2009-12-01: 00:16:00
Today's definition was suggested by iwasatripwire. Thank you iwasatripwire. ~ James