Verboticisms

Created by: Tigger

Pronunciation: /mith-kon-dukt/

Sentence: Donna stared wistfully at her friends splashing in the pool, and glanced up at the clock again — it'd been only 53 minutes since she'd eaten that banana — seven more minutes before she could go back in the pool. Her mother had warned her many times that going into the water less than an hour after eating would inevitably cause cramps, which were somehow always fatal. 'Would she die from drowning or from the cramps themselves?' she wondered. What if she just dangled her legs in the water? No, it was just too risky. She couldn't overcome the mythconduct her mother had instilled into her. Six minutes and forty five seconds to go...

Etymology: Myth - any invented story, idea, or concept (from Greek, mythos "speech, story") + Conduct - personal behavior; way of acting (from Latin, conductus "to lead or bring together")

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COMMENTS:

I always doubted this prohibition. I even sent it in to "Mythbusters"....to no avail. - metrohumanx, 2008-08-29: 06:00:00

Well, Mythbusters did prove that you shouldn't spin around in a makeshift wirlpool too soon after eating pizza. Funny episode. But I'm convinced that the 1-hour 'no swimming' rule is nonsense. But I knew kids whose mothers wouldn't even let them stand in the wading pool because of that rule. - Tigger, 2008-08-29: 10:12:00

Good word - TJayzz, 2008-08-29: 13:43:00

Welcome back, Tigger, we mythed you! - Nosila, 2008-08-29: 20:09:00

This one is my favorite, well done! - Rehlit, 2008-09-01: 00:50:00

Good word there Tigger, it has a nice ring to it! I like the way you think :) - abrakadeborah, 2009-03-14: 19:07:00

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Created by: mchristof

Pronunciation: muh-ter-bol-ee

Sentence: Saying I'll turn into a boneless chicken is such a materbole.

Etymology: Hyperbole - an exaggeration Maternal - having to do with the mother

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Created by: Nosila

Pronunciation: rad MOM ish in

Sentence: Growing up in an Irish household,the 6 siblings were all raised on a solid diet of good old radmomition. This included an assorted mix of superstitions (spilling salt requires you to throw some over your left shoulder), Aesop's fables(remember that grasshopper and the ant?), lessons from the Bible(Thou shalt not lie about who ate the baking out of the freezer) and old wives' tales(if you tell a lie, your nose will grow), guaranteed to scare even the toughest know-it-all kid into submission. It was never really understood how putting a hat on the bed or opening an umbrella indoors would bring about bad luck; how stepping on a crack could break your mother's back or how licking a frosty metal fence would make your tongue stick to it. (Okay, that on was really true, as one brother found out the hard way)! Yet all these tools were used by their mother to great effectiveness. People marvelled at how well-behaved 6 kids could be out in public. But one look from their Mom's omnipresent eye could nail them to a couch for hours on end, quietly, without a hint of physical persuasion. Santa's elves were watching you just before Christmas time (I mean really, weren't they too busy making toys?); God would be mad to learn you did not put your coins on the offering plate in Church (like does he count it all?)If there was no known adage to affect a situation, she simply would make one up. It was not until they were into their teens that they discovered the Ice Cream Man going around the neighbourhood played his twinkly songs when he still had goodies left to sell. They had always been told that the music was a sign he was sold out. The irony was that all these siblings went through higher education, got responsible jobs and used exactly the same radmomition tactics on their own children and grandchildren...May you be half an hour in Heaven before the Devil knows you're dead!

Etymology: Radical (a person who has out there ideas or opinions;used of opinions and actions far beyond the norm) & Admonition (cautionary advice about something imminent;counsel in terms of someone's behavior;warn strongly; put on guard) & Mom (female parent)& Superstition (an irrational belief arising from ignorance or fear;folklore;omens of good and bad luck)

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COMMENTS:

Oh MAN!!!!...You mean the ice cream man WASN'T sold out? - metrohumanx, 2008-08-29: 05:56:00

"Mom's omnipresent eye"....great turn of a phrase, Nosette. :) - metrohumanx, 2008-08-29: 08:11:00

Actual advice from an Alaskan native: Do NOT try to lick the glaciers. - Tigger, 2008-08-29: 10:34:00

Great "sentence!" :) - lumina, 2008-08-29: 15:46:00

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Created by: Rehlit

Pronunciation: kaw-sham

Sentence: Many parents use an insidious causham to frighten their naughty children. Such as "If you eat watermelon seeds, a watermelon will grow in your stomach!"

Etymology: Caution(a warning against danger or evil; anything serving as a warning) + sham (something that is not what it purports to be; a spurious imitation; fraud or hoax; pretended; counterfeit; feigned:)

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Created by: Nosila

Pronunciation: pol tree guyst

Sentence: Chickenita Bantama had a hard time persuading her youngest chick,Henny Youngman, to eat his feed. She finally had to resort to scare tactics and told him the tale of the poultrygeist. It was a scary ghost chicken that came after little chicks that did not eat up their supper. It worked for her, even if some thought it was fowl play...Happy Halloween!

Etymology: Poultry (a domesticated gallinaceous bird) & Poltergeist (a ghost that announces its presence with rapping and the creation of disorder)

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COMMENTS:

LOVING YOUR STORIES - DrWebsterIII, 2012-10-31: 11:24:00

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Created by: artr

Pronunciation: mom-bomz

Sentence: She had tried chiding. She had tried guilt. Finally Mom went to the scarsenal and started lobbing mombombs. Scientists aren't sure how deep the psychological scars go but, like a black hole, the light of logic rarely escapes from this abyss.

Etymology: Mom (noun: informal, one's mother) + bomb (noun: incendiary material or other destructive substance)

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COMMENTS:

Fire in the hole! - metrohumanx, 2008-08-29: 06:05:00

We usually hid for cover up in the Dadic. - lumina, 2008-08-29: 15:38:00

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Created by: MrDave2176

Pronunciation: prop-uh-GEY-shuhn-gan-da

Sentence: Despite all of my mother's propagationganda my eyes never did "stick that way".

Etymology: Propagation:to breed + (propa)ganda : to disseminate information (or rumors)

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Created by: ErWenn

Pronunciation: /ˈmæləpro(ʊ)ˌskɹɪpʃən/

Sentence: Most new parents promise themselves that they'll always be open and honest with their children, but each time they are asked "Why not?", the probability of the birth of a new malaproscription increases.

Etymology: from malapropism + proscription

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Created by: readerwriter

Pronunciation: DOM-in-pray-shuns

Sentence: Mother Hen, like most parental units, was given to dominprations whenever she got the chance, so worried was she that Little Clucky wouldn't make it to 12 weeks, his age of personal acountability. But, what did L.C. know--he was an adolescent and a major risk taker.

Etymology: From dominate, Latin domis, to exert supreme control + prate, idle chatter

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Created by: vixphilia

Pronunciation: hum-MUM-bug

Sentence: Mum was feding me her usual humumbug: "If you keep making ugly faces,it will freeze like that!"

Etymology: Humbug: pretentious or silly talk Mum: Mother

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