Verboticisms

Created by: metrohumanx

Pronunciation: bee-HAY-vee-uhr-ELSE-ohyd

Sentence: " I can tell if you're lying - just by feeling your nose." I told little Tommy. With a scream of terror he covered his face like a three foot tall Bela Lugosi and ran home crying. My use of a common BEHAVIORELSEOID works every time, flushing out little untruths wherever they might be lurking. The incident was witnessed by little Laura, who later explained that "There are more blood vessels in the nose." Although there may be some guilt associated with the use of BEHAVIORELSEOIDS in modern childrearing, experts have justified it's use as a potent counterbalance to "freezer experiments", "suspiciously quiet bedrooms" and hilariously blantant lies. By the way, why are there eleven eggs in the fridge and one in the hedges? Someone was trying to HATCH one, weren't they? Come on, let me feel your nose.....

Etymology: BEHAVIor+OR ELSE+ -OID= BEHAVIORELSEOID BEHAVIOR:the manner of conducting oneself ,anything that an organism or urchin does involving action and response to stimulation or uncertainty -alteration of Middle English behavour, from behaven.....OR ELSE: idiom meaning "Regardless of any extenuating circumstances- and I MEAN IT!".....-OID:suffix - something resembling an object or having a (specified) quality of fear inducing behavior modification.

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COMMENTS:

Q: What do Fred Sanford, Augie Doggie, Chuck Connors and Fred MacMurray have in common?.........................A: http://www.tvdads.com/tvdads.shtml - metrohumanx, 2008-08-29: 07:52:00

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Created by: artr

Pronunciation: emboŏlshitishmənt

Sentence: Billy grew in a world of embullshitishment. His parents would tell him **Step on a crack and you*ll break your mother*s back**. **Eat your vegetables or the dog will eat your foot**. The world can only wait to see how he will encourage his own children.

Etymology: embellishment (a decorative detail or feature added to something to make it more attractive) + bullshit (stupid or untrue talk or writing; nonsense)

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COMMENTS:

tee-hee! - mrskellyscl, 2010-01-20: 06:26:00

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Created by: Rehlit

Pronunciation: kaw-sham

Sentence: Many parents use an insidious causham to frighten their naughty children. Such as "If you eat watermelon seeds, a watermelon will grow in your stomach!"

Etymology: Caution(a warning against danger or evil; anything serving as a warning) + sham (something that is not what it purports to be; a spurious imitation; fraud or hoax; pretended; counterfeit; feigned:)

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Created by: TJayzz

Pronunciation: Mom-sen-s

Sentence: Linda was full so of momsense when it came to bringing up little Donald, she was forever telling him to eat his crusts to make his hair curly and that carrots would make him see in the dark. Being only four years old he thought his mum knew everything, he would constantly gaze into the mirror waiting for his curls to appear, and lie awake in the early hours desperate to have night vision.

Etymology: Mom(North American term for Mum) Sense(purpose,reason)(see Nonsense) = Momsense

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COMMENTS:

And Donald grew so tall from stepping in cow dung. - metrohumanx, 2008-08-29: 06:04:00

If he was like me and my bro, he wondered why mom never brought home the kind of spinach with the rip open can like Popeye. - lumina, 2008-08-29: 15:32:00

Love your word,TJayzz... - Nosila, 2008-08-29: 20:10:00

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Created by: mchristof

Pronunciation: muh-ter-bol-ee

Sentence: Saying I'll turn into a boneless chicken is such a materbole.

Etymology: Hyperbole - an exaggeration Maternal - having to do with the mother

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Created by: mweinmann

Pronunciation: chik - shtik

Sentence: Samancluck warned her little one to not peep too loud or her eyes would bug out.... It was just more of her chickshtick, designed to get her little one to behave.

Etymology: Chick (baby chicken) + Schtick (gimmick)

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Created by: Tigger

Pronunciation: /mith-kon-dukt/

Sentence: Donna stared wistfully at her friends splashing in the pool, and glanced up at the clock again — it'd been only 53 minutes since she'd eaten that banana — seven more minutes before she could go back in the pool. Her mother had warned her many times that going into the water less than an hour after eating would inevitably cause cramps, which were somehow always fatal. 'Would she die from drowning or from the cramps themselves?' she wondered. What if she just dangled her legs in the water? No, it was just too risky. She couldn't overcome the mythconduct her mother had instilled into her. Six minutes and forty five seconds to go...

Etymology: Myth - any invented story, idea, or concept (from Greek, mythos "speech, story") + Conduct - personal behavior; way of acting (from Latin, conductus "to lead or bring together")

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COMMENTS:

I always doubted this prohibition. I even sent it in to "Mythbusters"....to no avail. - metrohumanx, 2008-08-29: 06:00:00

Well, Mythbusters did prove that you shouldn't spin around in a makeshift wirlpool too soon after eating pizza. Funny episode. But I'm convinced that the 1-hour 'no swimming' rule is nonsense. But I knew kids whose mothers wouldn't even let them stand in the wading pool because of that rule. - Tigger, 2008-08-29: 10:12:00

Good word - TJayzz, 2008-08-29: 13:43:00

Welcome back, Tigger, we mythed you! - Nosila, 2008-08-29: 20:09:00

This one is my favorite, well done! - Rehlit, 2008-09-01: 00:50:00

Good word there Tigger, it has a nice ring to it! I like the way you think :) - abrakadeborah, 2009-03-14: 19:07:00

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Created by: readerwriter

Pronunciation: DOM-in-pray-shuns

Sentence: Mother Hen, like most parental units, was given to dominprations whenever she got the chance, so worried was she that Little Clucky wouldn't make it to 12 weeks, his age of personal acountability. But, what did L.C. know--he was an adolescent and a major risk taker.

Etymology: From dominate, Latin domis, to exert supreme control + prate, idle chatter

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Created by: Nosila

Pronunciation: pol tree guyst

Sentence: Chickenita Bantama had a hard time persuading her youngest chick,Henny Youngman, to eat his feed. She finally had to resort to scare tactics and told him the tale of the poultrygeist. It was a scary ghost chicken that came after little chicks that did not eat up their supper. It worked for her, even if some thought it was fowl play...Happy Halloween!

Etymology: Poultry (a domesticated gallinaceous bird) & Poltergeist (a ghost that announces its presence with rapping and the creation of disorder)

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COMMENTS:

LOVING YOUR STORIES - DrWebsterIII, 2012-10-31: 11:24:00

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Created by: Jabberwocky

Pronunciation: lor/war/ning

Sentence: Lorewarning is the practice of raising children by indoctrinating them with urban legends.

Etymology: lore (myths, folklore) + forewarning

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COMMENTS:

Alligators in the sewers? - metrohumanx, 2008-08-29: 06:06:00

Witches eat little kids who don't go to bed on time? - lumina, 2008-08-29: 15:33:00

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