Verboticisms

Created by: ErWenn

Pronunciation: /ˈmæləpro(ʊ)ˌskɹɪpʃən/

Sentence: Most new parents promise themselves that they'll always be open and honest with their children, but each time they are asked "Why not?", the probability of the birth of a new malaproscription increases.

Etymology: from malapropism + proscription

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Created by: Nosila

Pronunciation: an eemal plee fye

Sentence: Henrietta Capon had a lesson for her son, Alfonso, the heir to the Capon di Tutti Capon title. She tried to animalipify that if he made a wrong decision, without his consigliere, he would suffer the consequences. Without a peep or a chirp he would find himself the victim of fowl play. With his weapon cocked, he was a poultry excuse for his roost hero, Gary Cooper. Eggsistentialism eluded him, he became a Friar, gave and tried to pullet into a chickmonaskstery...without being hendered. The cluck stops here...

Etymology: Animal (creature;a living organism characterized by voluntary movement) ^ Amplify (exaggerate or make bigger; to enlarge beyond bounds or the truth)

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Created by: Nosila

Pronunciation: rad MOM ish in

Sentence: Growing up in an Irish household,the 6 siblings were all raised on a solid diet of good old radmomition. This included an assorted mix of superstitions (spilling salt requires you to throw some over your left shoulder), Aesop's fables(remember that grasshopper and the ant?), lessons from the Bible(Thou shalt not lie about who ate the baking out of the freezer) and old wives' tales(if you tell a lie, your nose will grow), guaranteed to scare even the toughest know-it-all kid into submission. It was never really understood how putting a hat on the bed or opening an umbrella indoors would bring about bad luck; how stepping on a crack could break your mother's back or how licking a frosty metal fence would make your tongue stick to it. (Okay, that on was really true, as one brother found out the hard way)! Yet all these tools were used by their mother to great effectiveness. People marvelled at how well-behaved 6 kids could be out in public. But one look from their Mom's omnipresent eye could nail them to a couch for hours on end, quietly, without a hint of physical persuasion. Santa's elves were watching you just before Christmas time (I mean really, weren't they too busy making toys?); God would be mad to learn you did not put your coins on the offering plate in Church (like does he count it all?)If there was no known adage to affect a situation, she simply would make one up. It was not until they were into their teens that they discovered the Ice Cream Man going around the neighbourhood played his twinkly songs when he still had goodies left to sell. They had always been told that the music was a sign he was sold out. The irony was that all these siblings went through higher education, got responsible jobs and used exactly the same radmomition tactics on their own children and grandchildren...May you be half an hour in Heaven before the Devil knows you're dead!

Etymology: Radical (a person who has out there ideas or opinions;used of opinions and actions far beyond the norm) & Admonition (cautionary advice about something imminent;counsel in terms of someone's behavior;warn strongly; put on guard) & Mom (female parent)& Superstition (an irrational belief arising from ignorance or fear;folklore;omens of good and bad luck)

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COMMENTS:

Oh MAN!!!!...You mean the ice cream man WASN'T sold out? - metrohumanx, 2008-08-29: 05:56:00

"Mom's omnipresent eye"....great turn of a phrase, Nosette. :) - metrohumanx, 2008-08-29: 08:11:00

Actual advice from an Alaskan native: Do NOT try to lick the glaciers. - Tigger, 2008-08-29: 10:34:00

Great "sentence!" :) - lumina, 2008-08-29: 15:46:00

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Created by: Mustang

Pronunciation: PAIR-ehn-trah-mah

Sentence: Though her intentions were good the cautionary advice she gave her kiddies was always extreme and always created excessive parentrauma in their little minds and hearts.

Etymology: Blend of the words 'parent' and 'trauma' (an experience that produces psychological injury or pain)

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Created by: artr

Pronunciation: līpərbəlē

Sentence: ”If you make a face, it could get stuck that way”, ”Behave because Santa is watching”, ”This is for your own good”. Many parents use lieperbole to keep their children in line.

Etymology: lie (an intentionally false statement) + hyperbole (exaggerated statements or claims not meant to be taken literally)

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COMMENTS:

Very nice. For the win, in my opinion. - mchristof, 2011-06-12: 23:50:00

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Created by: badthing

Pronunciation:

Sentence:

Etymology:

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Created by: artr

Pronunciation: mom-bomz

Sentence: She had tried chiding. She had tried guilt. Finally Mom went to the scarsenal and started lobbing mombombs. Scientists aren't sure how deep the psychological scars go but, like a black hole, the light of logic rarely escapes from this abyss.

Etymology: Mom (noun: informal, one's mother) + bomb (noun: incendiary material or other destructive substance)

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COMMENTS:

Fire in the hole! - metrohumanx, 2008-08-29: 06:05:00

We usually hid for cover up in the Dadic. - lumina, 2008-08-29: 15:38:00

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Created by: mweinmann

Pronunciation: ex - aj - ur - isk

Sentence: Shelly tended to exaggerisk when she talked to her boys about the dangers lurking in the neighborhood. She was a bit paranoid after seeing the movie about vampires infiltrating rural towns where they might go unnoticed.

Etymology: exaggerate, risk

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COMMENTS:

Mom is just making sure her kids are exaggeready. - artr, 2010-01-20: 12:31:00

There's a New Moon at Twilight! - Nosila, 2010-01-20: 19:23:00

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Created by: OZZIEBOB

Pronunciation: skohl-DOHLT-uh-ree

Sentence: Bob's attempt to use the story of "The Three Bears" as a lesson of - thou shal not steal- quickly became another sad saga of scoldoltery for his children.

Etymology: Blend of SCOLD: chide, reprimand, reprove; DOLT: a fool, nitwit & ERY: state or condition with a hint of ADULT " parents" & ADULTERY: cheating; emotion; guilt.

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COMMENTS:

Don't make me count to three!.....one.....twwo...... - metrohumanx, 2008-08-29: 05:58:00

nice - Jabberwocky, 2008-08-29: 11:49:00

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Created by: Stevenson0

Pronunciation: muhth/er/fuhngk/er

Sentence: His mom was a motherfunker. Being a motherfunker is a fast, easy way to get the behaviour expected. Unfortunately, when children are brought up with a motherfunker, when they are older, they do not trust anything their mom tells them.

Etymology: MOTHERFUNKER - from MOTHER + FUNK ( to frighten; state of great fright, or terror)

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COMMENTS:

And I'll bet she was a "bad motherfunker," "Shutcho mouth!" :) - lumina, 2008-08-29: 15:27:00

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