Vote for the best verboticism.

'Our boss said I had to attend this meeting.'

DEFINITION: v. To arrive at a meeting completely unprepared and then work diligently and obviously to distract yourself from the proceedings. n. A person who attends a meeting but does not believe that they are paid enough to actually pay attention.

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Verboticisms

Click on each verboticism to read the sentences created by the Verbotomy writers, and to see your voting options...

You have two votes. Click on the words to read the details, then vote your favorite.

Attendunce

Created by: galwaywegian

Pronunciation: att en dunsssss

Sentence: His attendunce record snored for itself

Etymology: attendance dunce

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COMMENTS:

Excellent! Simply great and easy to remember. luv the sentence, too. - silveryaspen, 2009-01-14: 12:12:00

I like this word and voted for it. But wonder if we worry about the words being the "right" parts of speech as called for... - readerwriter, 2009-01-14: 15:57:00

Great...I'm sure we all atend meetings with these duds, I mean dudes! - Nosila, 2009-01-15: 00:12:00

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Clusterduck

artr

Created by: artr

Pronunciation: kləstərdək

Sentence: Ron is pretty good at working alone but when it comes to meetings he's a clusterduck. If he attends at all, he is about as useful as a bent paperclip.

Etymology: cluster (a group of people or similar objects positioned or occurring close together) + duck (lower the head or the body quickly to avoid a blow or so as not to be seen) Also a derivative of another common term that starts with cluster.

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COMMENTS:

I know that guy! - otherguy, 2009-01-14: 08:02:00

I think we all know that guy... - Nosila, 2009-01-15: 00:13:00

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Procrasturbate

youmustvotenato

Created by: youmustvotenato

Pronunciation: pro-crass-stir-bate

Sentence: Rick whipped out his phone and commenced forth to procrasturbate during the meeting, much to the chagrin of corporate. Rick, of course, worked in IT.

Etymology: procrastinate and mast**bate.

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Offassoffender

Created by: silveryaspen

Pronunciation: off - ass - uhf - end - er

Sentence: Once in awhile, an office has an offassoffender, who slacks off, and sluffs off, his work onto others. He is unready and unwilling to go to the meeting table. Off-timed, he strolls in with nothing, and mouths off, spewing off the cuff, off the peg, off the wall remarks, many of them off key, off color, and offensive. The boss finally had enoff. He offed him ... he took him off the books, and right off the job! That was the end of awful Mr. Offalhead.

Etymology: Office, Ass, Offender,

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COMMENTS:

That horse's patoot was no doubt the butt of many jokes over the water cooler. The boss was right to expel that stinker from the offeces. - Mustang, 2008-03-24: 05:31:00

Those puns are just offal. - stache, 2008-03-24: 10:05:00

Offally amusing! - spotthecat1, 2008-03-24: 16:28:00

Very clever and amusing. - OZZIEBOB, 2008-03-24: 19:53:00

Don't think I've ever heard anyone being called an "Offalhead" before. It's very 'PC'and I may just use it when talking about some Offassoffenders I know. ;) - Tigger, 2008-03-24: 20:18:00

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Innattention

Created by: Nosila

Pronunciation: In at ten shun

Sentence: Oliver worked for Hilton Hotel Chain as it's IT Chief. He never felt he had to be part of the boring day-to-day matters. Holding them hostage with his superior electronic intelligence, he attended the meetings he was summoned to and ignored everyone and everything. He was guilty of innattention. In fact he had a history of it...when he worked for the sanitation department, he was guilty of binattention. When he worked for the Symphony, it was violinattention; for Lufthansa, it was berlinattention. And when he worked for Tanqueray, he was guilty of ginattention; for the bank, pinattention and for the Las Vegas Tourist Board, it was sinattention. Do you think this is maybe why he'd been fired so often?

Etymology: Inn (hotel) & Inattention (lack of attention)

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Slacktendant

Created by: arrrteest

Pronunciation: slak-tend-ent

Sentence: Everyone who arrived at the meeting on time took a poll as to see what Jeff would bring with him to prove he was worthy of his slacktendant title. Two out of the four members who were there thought he would bring a copy of the latest anime or manga magazine he was sharing with Whistler from accounting. One said he would probably write emails and text his girlfriend on his Blackberry, while another said it had been a while since the last time he clipped his fingernails and toenails and plucked his nosehairs. Last Monday he brought the New York Times crossword puzzle and kept shouting out the words when he got them or muttering the clues under his breath.

Etymology: slacker (one who shirks work) + attendant (one who is present)

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COMMENTS:

Your sentence and word fit together, and fit the definition, like a hand in a glove Very well done! - silveryaspen, 2008-03-24: 01:40:00

You've no doubt met my brother in law, Mervyn? Great word! - Mustang, 2008-03-24: 06:13:00

Sorry, Mustang, I misspelled 'Mervyn' in my sentence. - stache, 2008-03-24: 10:10:00

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Crapathy

valfish56

Created by: valfish56

Pronunciation:

Sentence:

Etymology:

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COMMENTS:

Clever creation. Would enjoy reading more ... did you know you get points for each of the other three ... pronunciation, sentence and etymology? I look forward to reading more from you. - silveryaspen, 2008-03-24: 10:54:00

Excellent Verboticism - Mustang, 2008-03-24: 21:50:00

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Insubordinut

Created by: Mustang

Pronunciation: In - suh - BORD - uh - nut

Sentence: Lyle disliked taking orders from a woman and would, at every opportunity, show his disdain by acting the obnoxious insubordinut.

Etymology: Blend of insubordinate and nut

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COMMENTS:

Lyle and his boss might not be a very good fit together, but your word sure is fitted together very well, and fits them! - silveryaspen, 2008-03-24: 02:04:00

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Poohpoohbah

artr

Created by: artr

Pronunciation: poōpoōbä

Sentence: Bob attends meetings as directed. That doesn’t mean he feels the need to contribute anything useful. He is the self-appointed poohpoohbah of the conference. If anybody makes a suggestion he will begrudging look up from his Blackberry long enough to utter something like ”That won’t work” or ”That’s a stupid idea” and go back to ignoring the proceedings.

Etymology: Pooh-pooh (dismiss (an idea or suggestion) as being foolish or impractical) + Pooh-bah (a person having much influence or holding many offices at the same time, esp. one perceived as pompously self-important)

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Blunderachiever

Created by: Tigger

Pronunciation: /BLUN-der-uh-chee-ver/

Sentence: Scott was a consistent blunderachiever at work. Last week he brought his newpaper to the project meeting, read the comics, and he even laughed out loud a few times during the status review. Then he started on his crossword puzzle — he leaned over and whispered to Jennifer "Psst, what's a 4-letter word for 'silence'?" and when she told him to "Hush!" he just just nodded and said, "Hey, thanks."

Etymology: Blunder - to move or act blindly, stupidly (from Old Norse, blundra "shut one's eyes") + Underachiever - a person who performs below expectations (under "below" & achieve "attain through effort")

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COMMENTS:

Scott was no doubt suffering from delusions of adequacy. He should consider taking up farming where he'd no doubt be truly outstanding in his field. - Mustang, 2008-03-24: 05:35:00

petaj Scott was once a pasture tending his flock, but he was vergerly a nave and they all flocked off. - petaj, 2008-03-24: 06:41:00

I admire and enjoy the chuckles your witty sentence and word brings. I always learn a little something from your etymology when you include the word's country of origin. As always, very nice creation! - silveryaspen, 2008-03-24: 10:00:00

Amusing sentence; nice word, too - OZZIEBOB, 2008-03-24: 19:52:00

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Comments:

Verbotomy Verbotomy - 2008-03-24: 00:01:00
Today's definition was suggested by remistram. Thank you remistram. ~ James

arrrteest - 2008-03-24: 07:46:00
This is a poem I actually wrote in a meeting:

Meeting Hell
By David E. Selvin

As I sit here in this meeting,
My mind's attention span is fleeting,
I contemplate actually retreating,
From this place in meeting hell.

But from the clock, it's click and clocking,
My state of mind, it keeps on mocking,
My inner scream, to me, is shocking,
As I hallucinate the ending bell.

Still, I came with no allusion,
Complicit in my blind collusion,
For my schedule’s planned intrusion,
That I’ve come to accept, but dread.

I arrive and check the seating,
Politely smile and say a greeting,
Knowing sanity will take a beating,
Within the confines of my weary head.

Still, although, I'm stuck here sitting,
My stomach lining must be pitting,
A straight jacket soon just might be fitting,
And only time will surely tell.

I hope a response is not required,
They might notice sanity expired,
And ability to reason duly mired,
My interest level a labored sell.

I awake: Is it a nightmare?
I catch myself with an insipid blank stare,
Hearing talking though the stale air,
Not all sure where it’s coming from.

Try to focus. What is the topic?
The planner’s plans were quite myopic,
My mind is on an island tropic,
My body sits here limp and numb.

I hope I don’t get called to answer,
My pulse would rise as if a dancer,
My body pained as if full with cancer,
Reacting like a hammered thumb.

A sympathetic nod of head,
Seems to follow just what is said,
But an EEG would read out "dead,"
An indication not all is well.

I'm not sure what I gain from training,
For what topic that it's pertaining,
The whole experience is very draining,
My angst is what I need to quell.
My angst is what I need to quell.

Verbotomy Verbotomy - 2008-03-24: 08:40:00
Excellent poem arrrteest! It insubordinuttily captures the disenwaged spirit of a slacktendant agendabender. ~ James

Jamagra - 2008-03-24: 09:19:00
Quoth the employee, "Nevermore!"

silveryaspen - 2008-03-24: 11:07:00
Remistram and James, your definition and cartoon are a big hit! They not only inspired great verboticisms (not a bad one in the bunch again) but even poetry! Laughter, too! Great job!

silveryaspen - 2008-03-24: 11:10:00
Did you write your poem in a meeting hell, arrrteest? It is a wonderfully well done rhyme and adds much to our time here today! I'm so glad you shared it with us.

arrrteest - 2008-03-24: 13:36:00
Write it in meeting hell? Yes, I did! It was a mind numbing, pointless, poorly thought out, going through the motions, no followthrough afterwards, dead in the water, series of meetings/"trainings" that is enherent within large organizations. It was complete with "activators," "capture sheets" and "group participation." Aaaah phoey. You bet. Am I sarred for life? Well let's just say the poem saved me from $$$$ of therapy. If you want to be productive and positive in a meeting, don't sit next to me. LOL!

purpleartichokes - 2008-03-24: 16:00:00
Great poem arrrteest! I think I was at that meeting.

Jamagra - 2008-03-24: 16:41:00
Wow Arteest! Glad you have writing as an outlet from meeting hell! I really do NOT miss those days!

arrrteest - 2008-03-24: 17:22:00
"inherent"-ah an errant moment

wayoffcenter - 2009-01-14: 04:40:00
but your word is not in your sentence...

wayoffcenter - 2009-01-14: 04:46:00
Sorry, comment in wrong spot (and I used to laugh at people who made this mistake) Comment was meant for Illoiterite.

Verbotomy Verbotomy - 2010-05-31: 00:30:00
Today's definition was suggested by remistram. Thank you remistram. ~ James