Verboticism: Machionado

'What are you doing to the lawnmower?'

DEFINITION: n. The strong feelings of devotion and affection which a person feels towards their favorite mechanical device or appliance, such as a car, boat, power tool, or toilet. v. To lavish a machine with affection, attention and an imagined personality.

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Created by: OZZIEBOB

Pronunciation: muh-she-o-NAH-do

Sentence: I scarcely realized how many hours had passed. At last, as I had expected, the pre-dawn windy gusts fell to a gentle breeze. Suddenly my euphoric awakening fron the Land of Nod turned nightmarish, and I immediately hauled off the bedcoverings and raced to the bedroom window. Scarcely had I got there and looked out into the street below than I saw, to my horror, the hard rubbish pick-up truck disappearing down the street, my favorite Briggs and Stratton lawnmower slumped forlornly, amongst the other discards, on its back. My anxiety -or, may I say my panic made me feel ill; and a horror came over me that I would be unable to save him from being reduced to the size of a metal matchbox at the local recycle station. Anxiously, I ran to my car and looked ahead; but I could not tell how far the pick-up truck had travel, or even to which recycle station it was heading. My heart sank; a grotesque groaning or, at least, that's what I thought I could hear, of the junkyard's compactor starting-up it engines, seemed to be echoing all about me. But as I drove on; and the imminent loss of my beloved Briggs and Stratton became greater, a fear came over me that all my efforts to save him from metality might be in vain. Under similar circumstances, if my wife had disappeared, I should not probably have thought this way; but I was wrought and ragged, and my spirits sank to their lowest ebb. As I sat behind the wheel, speeding through tranquil streets, glittering with the rays of the early morning sun, I must have looked a picture of paranoia - but, indeed, that was the case. Every now and then I slowed down hoping to catch a glimpse of my wished-for B & S; till, at length, I caught a sight of the lofty gates of the recycling station. My spirits rose and I began to hope that should I recover "Briggsy," my troubles and anxieties would be at an end. I could not help shouting out "Briggsy! Briggsy" though I was not aware that I had done so till I heard the sound of another voice. " Settle down, sir!" he exclaimed. " Here he is. So you thought he was about to enter the great compactor in the sky - didn't you?" I tried to explain what had happened, that yesterday, after mowing, I had left my "metal soulmate," through thoughtlessness, on the nature strip; but my mind was too confused for some time for him to understand. "What! have you been up all night? You must have had some wow of a time," he said. "Let me get you some clothes and you had better lie down. You need help and plenty of rest; think of the aftermath." I saw from the way he spoke, that he was still confused; so I told him that I had already had some sleep, and that I was a machionado with a penchance for Briggs and Stratton lawnmowers. "Thank God!" He cried out. "Perhaps that is the sound of another machine, called " Black Maria." A suitable craft, hopefully, that may be able to take you and your metal mate on board. And don't worry, I am sure that it won't be too long before you and Briggsy are back on the grass again."

Etymology: Blend of machine & Afficionado

Points: 1577

Comments: Machionado

silveryaspen - 2009-01-19: 19:05:00
Love the double meaning in 'wished for the B S!' My! My! How you can prose on and on!