Verboticism: Procrasturbate

'Our boss said I had to attend this meeting.'

DEFINITION: v. To arrive at a meeting completely unprepared and then work diligently and obviously to distract yourself from the proceedings. n. A person who attends a meeting but does not believe that they are paid enough to actually pay attention.

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Reprezzzzzentative

Created by: galwaywegian

Pronunciation: rep rez ent eh tiv

Sentence: The bosses' reprezzzzzzentative sneered his way through the nahgenda.

Etymology: representative zzzzzzzzzzz.

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COMMENTS:

I love 'nahgenda' — it really epitomizes meetings where nothing is accomplished. - Tigger, 2008-03-24: 21:11:00

Very innovative etymology and creations! - silveryaspen, 2008-03-24: 21:28:00

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Clusterduck

artr

Created by: artr

Pronunciation: kləstərdək

Sentence: Ron is pretty good at working alone but when it comes to meetings he's a clusterduck. If he attends at all, he is about as useful as a bent paperclip.

Etymology: cluster (a group of people or similar objects positioned or occurring close together) + duck (lower the head or the body quickly to avoid a blow or so as not to be seen) Also a derivative of another common term that starts with cluster.

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COMMENTS:

I know that guy! - otherguy, 2009-01-14: 08:02:00

I think we all know that guy... - Nosila, 2009-01-15: 00:13:00

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Procrasturbate

youmustvotenato

Created by: youmustvotenato

Pronunciation: pro-crass-stir-bate

Sentence: Rick whipped out his phone and commenced forth to procrasturbate during the meeting, much to the chagrin of corporate. Rick, of course, worked in IT.

Etymology: procrastinate and mast**bate.

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Attentiondeficitdisbursement

Created by: Stevenson0

Pronunciation: at/ten/sion/de/fi/cit/dis/burse/ment

Sentence: Whenever Joe showed up at a meeting and found out that he wasn't being paid enough per hour for his computer expertise his ADD (attentiondeficitdisbursement) condition would suddenly act up until he felt he was being properly compensated.

Etymology: Whenever Joe showed up at a meeting and found out that he wasn't being paid enough per hour for his computer expertise his ADD (attentiondeficitdisbursement) condition would suddenly act up until he felt he was being properly compensated.

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Slactor

Created by: readerwriter

Pronunciation: Sl-ak-tore

Sentence: The management team had to assume from his body language that notorious office slactor, Simon Sez, didn't realize he was attending his own exit interview.

Etymology: A blend of SLACKER, meaning a person who shirks work + ACTOR, a theatrical performer; feminine = slactress

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Agendabender

Created by: Nosila

Pronunciation: ah jenda ben der

Sentence: Todd was a first class Agendabender. He hated meetings with a passion and felt they were a waste of time. Sometimes they had meetings just to decide when the next meeting would be! He was considered a renegade for not wanting to attend the meetings, he felt it cut into his time at work. Iromically, those persons who convened meetings ad nauseum, just want to hear their own voices and ideas and apparently did not have enough real work to do, nor deadlines to meet. Todd analyzed what these meetings comprised: "Minutes" of the meetings should actually be called "Hours"; The "Board Room" should have been renamed The "Bored Room"; the "Chair Person" should be called the "Stare Person"...'cause they always managed to spear the attendees with their eyes; and Preparation for a meeting?...the only one anyone really needed was "Preparation H" for the long periods of time spent sitting on the hard wooden chairs! Yes, it was obvious to Todd that some people in his firm got their MBA's specializing in congregation and mind-numbing rhetoric. Unbeknownst to the other attendees, Todd's days attending these mindless marathons were soon to be ended. He had just inherited the company from his uncle and his first order of business would be to agendabender the hell out of these pointless meetings!

Etymology: agenda { a list of matters to be taken up (as at a meeting)} & bender (someone who modifies the rules to suit themselves) & genderbender (for rhyming purposes, not that there's anything wrong with that!)

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COMMENTS:

I admire your witty word plays in quotes, and your story, for they very humorously and successfully convey the feeling of frustration. Perhaps before his agendabender to ease his frustration, he went on another kind of bender! - silveryaspen, 2008-03-24: 01:35:00

Perhaps Todd is a "Boy George" fan? Clever word; luv the sentence! - OZZIEBOB, 2008-03-24: 02:26:00

Workershirker? Congrats! - readerwriter, 2009-01-14: 09:30:00

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Muteinear

Created by: Nosila

Pronunciation: myoot in eer

Sentence: Phil was always a lazy, subversive radical in our management meetings. A Rebel without a Clause; a true American Idle;a Gatorade Renegade;an Insurgence Agent and a Maverick Manager. He never contributed any items to the agenda, never participated in discussions, absolutely never volunteered for any committees or extra tasks. He was a facilitator's nightmare. Instead of participating with his peers, he did crossword puzzles, read novels or watched his mini-tv. It had gone on so long unchecked that his peer group and a long line of his bosses just learned to ignore him. His purpose was ornamental, not functional. Just before he retired, the secret was revealed. He was a Muteinear...before each meeting, in fact before each work day, he simply took the batteries out of his hearing aids and enjoyed stress-free work days!

Etymology: Mutineer (open rebellion and refusal to obey authorities) & Mute (a device used to soften the tone of a musical instrument;deaden a sound or noise;expressed without speech; especially because words would be inappropriate or inadequate) & In Ear (inside the the sense organ for hearing and equilibrium)

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COMMENTS:

great word! - galwaywegian, 2009-01-14: 04:46:00

Laughed all the way through from the great first line to the punch line ending! - silveryaspen, 2009-01-14: 12:07:00

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Antiestablishmentcontraranism

artr

Created by: artr

Pronunciation: antīistablishməntkəntrerēənizəm

Sentence: Justin expresses his antiestablishmentcontraranism by showing up for the annual company meeting in a clown outfit. Far from disrupting the gathering, the CEO ad libbed his speech to talk about the clowns that needed to be weeded out of the company.

Etymology: anti (against) + establishment (a business organization, public institution) + contrarianism (a person who opposes or rejects popular opinion)

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Recalcityroaf

metrohumanx

Created by: metrohumanx

Pronunciation: ree-cal-sit-TIE-roaf (recalcityroafette)

Sentence: The Library Dominatrix had forced Jeff to abandon his personal feifdom and attend a typically bogus meeting at the Megastructure. Unkemp and unconcerned, Jeff was only a RECALCI-TYROAF compared to the rest of us who had suffered through endless vapid meetings totally devoid of meaning or productivity. Jeff's casual insolence marked him for what he was...a mere amateur at the subtle art of boss-baiting. His five-minute Pornopoint Presentation only brought him a week in the cooler. Years of administrative harassment had converted our workplace into an academic version of a prisoner of war camp, and our subtle sarcasm, subliminal suggestions and underground campaign of disinformation had led to the total breakdown of more than one camp administrator. Totally lacking subtlety, Jeff's blatant insolence and goon-baiting drew the Commandant's attention while we discreetly falsified memos, released budgies, and planted several alarm clocks timed to disrupt our annual Staff Appreciation Day. So even a RECALCI-TYROAF has a place in the great SCHEME of things. They never DID discover the tunnel.

Etymology: RECALCItrant+TYRo+OAF=RECALCITYROAF....RECALCITRANT:: obstinately defiant of authority or restraint,difficult to manage or train,not responsive to treatment; Late Latin recalcitrant-, recalcitrans, present participle of recalcitrare to be stubbornly disobedient, from Latin, to kick back, from re- + calcitrare to kick, from calc-, calx heel.....TYRO:a beginner in learning,one inept at insubordination;Medieval Latin, from Latin tiro young soldier, tyro.....OAF:a stupid person, a boob,a big clumsy slow-witted person; alteration of auf, alfe goblin's child, probably from Middle English alven, elven elf, fairy, from Old English elfen nymphs; akin to Old English ælf elf.

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COMMENTS:

metrohumanx Rats! The word "city" seems too pronounced- I wanted more emphasis on "tyro". I'll try to do better, gang. - metrohumanx, 2009-01-14: 01:21:00

metrohumanx Free online books here: http://www.gutenberg.org/catalog/ - metrohumanx, 2009-01-14: 02:05:00

I tried to say that three times and broke my tongue....but I still like it. - Mustang, 2009-01-14: 17:57:00

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Quoredom

Created by: Nosila

Pronunciation: kwor dom

Sentence: When Rocky showed up at a meeting, he displayed a great degree of quoredom. Being the IT guy, he felt such human habits as conducting meetings were not worthy of his precious time. Since teamwork was a big portion of his bonus money, he would have been wiser and wealthier to at least pretend to participate in the proceedings.

Etymology: Quorum (a gathering of the minimal number of members of an organization to conduct business) & Boredom (the feeling of being bored by something tedious)

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