Verboticism: Slowmad

DEFINITION: v. What boyfriends and husbands do while they are waiting their girlfriends and/or wives to shop. n. A person doing such a thing.
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Slowmad
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Slowmad
Created by: artr
Pronunciation: SLO-mad
Sentence: As Tom wandered from store to store waiting for his wife to finish her shopping he became just one more slowmad, looking over each item as if he really cared, fending off sales clerks with the slowmad's mantra "Just looking". He also knew that this activity was slowly driving him stark-raving mad. He could feel his sanity slipping away with each step he took. The last thing he wanted to become was a husbutt-parker — those old men who take up every inch of available bench space vacantly staring into space while a mound of packages accumulates at their feet.
Etymology: Slow (Very not fast) + nomad (a desert wanderer)
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COMMENTS:
RIGHT ON! Great sentence, artr. - metrohumanx, 2008-08-28: 03:03:00
Slowmad reminds me of Strongbad.
http://www.homestarrunner.com/sbemail.html - metrohumanx, 2008-08-28: 03:38:00
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Vapidrift
Created by: metrohumanx
Pronunciation: VAY-pih-DRIFT
Sentence: Lawrence could not bring himself to follow his wife into the Aromabody Boutique, even to dampen her urge to spend,spend, spend. Instead , he chose voluntary exile to the mallhall, where he would VAPIDRIFT with the herd of patient husbandry, a hundred-meter stare in his glazed eyes. Teen girls, ancient immigrants and momshoppers piloting triple tandem strollers jockeyed around him as he waited for the prized seat on a hard plastic bench. Time stretched to infinity as other VAPIDRIFTERS milled around in their assigned areas - no more than ten steps from the entrance, but not too close to the semi-erotic manneqins in the windows of BarnDress Woman discount plus-size fashion emporium. There would be no mercy for the man who wandered away. Lawrence checked his watch for the umpteenth time, resigned to his fate as a docile consumer support unit.
Etymology: VAPId+DRIFT=VAPIDRIFT.....Vapid: lacking liveliness, tang, briskness, or force- Latin vapidus flat-tasting; akin to Latin vappa flat wine and perhaps to Latin vapor steam......DRIFT:something driven, propelled, or urged along or drawn together in a clump by or as if by a natural agency- Middle English; akin to Old English drīfan to drive.
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COMMENTS:
We regret the passing of Laurence Urdang. 1927-2008 - metrohumanx, 2008-08-27: 00:49:00
how tragic - Jabberwocky, 2008-08-27: 16:03:00
Another great word and real-life story. - OZZIEBOB, 2008-08-28: 00:59:00
Some day, lad...all this will be yours. - metrohumanx, 2008-08-28: 03:37:00
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Mandroid
Created by: artr
Pronunciation: mandroid
Sentence: Whenever Cindy goes shopping, her boyfriend becomes her mandroid. He becomes a purse-holding, head-nodding, cart-pushing robot. He will spout pre-determined phrases like ”that looks great on you” or ”no, that’s not too much to spend if you really like it”.
Etymology: man (an adult human male) + android (a robot with a human appearance)
Boycaught
Created by: Nosila
Pronunciation: boy kot
Sentence: When she took her boyfriend shopping, which he hated, he hung around outside the building as a boycaught. He really should have gone into the store, as she was getting final fitting for her wedding dress...
Etymology: Boy (Man or young male) & Caught (the act of catching something)...wordplay on boycott (to ignore;a group's refusal to have commercial dealings with some organization in protest against its policies)
Parcelmoany
Created by: bookowl
Pronunciation: par/sell/moany
Sentence: Parcelmoany is a state of extreme vexation when one is loaded down with expensive items he can't afford.
Etymology: parcel + parsimony (extreme econmoy) + moan
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COMMENTS:
Parcelmoany is inspired. I'd like to read more about the affliction. - metrohumanx, 2008-08-28: 03:08:00
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Guybrowse
Created by: Nosila
Pronunciation: gye browz
Sentence: Most men hate shopping and even worse hate waiting while someone they are with shops. Mark was no exception and when his wife Lana dragged him to the store to wait for her to try on some new fashions, he took that waiting opportunity to guybrowse in other departments. When Lana finished shopping in a department store, armed with lots of bags and boxes, she then would waste half an hour looking for Mark. Invariably she'd find him sampling free food; catching up on the latest thought-provoking articles in Playboy Magazine; watching a big screen TV football game or trying out the latest Lazyboy recliner. She often wished that the stores would smarten up and copy an idea of Harrod's. They had a lounge area similar to a gentleman's club, with comfy wingback chairs set in a room with television and newspapers, serving cold ale to waiting guybrows. It was like a nursery for men.
Etymology: Guy (male;an informal term for a youth or man) & Browse (look around casually and randomly, without seeking anything in particular;shop around; not necessarily buying) & rhyming with: Eyebrows (the arch of hair above each eye...when raised it acts as an unspoken question (Are you really buying that?)
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COMMENTS:
You never let us down, Nosila. Mark had a lot of nerve- I would NEVER break with protocol and drft away from the store entrance... - metrohumanx, 2008-08-27: 00:58:00
funny - Jabberwocky, 2008-08-27: 16:05:00
How true. It takes years of practice to become a champion guybrowser. - OZZIEBOB, 2008-08-28: 00:53:00
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Guybrowse
Created by: rikboyee
Pronunciation: guy-browz
Sentence: every time his wife took clothes into the change rooms he would wander awkwardly around the store, trying to guybrowse without drawing attention to himself
Etymology: guy, browse, eyebrows
Windowschlump
Created by: Mustang
Pronunciation: win - doe - shlump
Sentence: Whenever Minnie would involve herself shopping she did so in a dedicated fashion that left Monty to manage for himself and he would always windowschlump, mindlessly wandrering from store to store looking at the displays.
Etymology: Blend of 'window' and 'schlump' (to loaf or idle)
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COMMENTS:
I've seen a clump of WINDOWSCHLUMPS, and shuffled right along. - metrohumanx, 2008-08-27: 00:54:00
very descriptive - Jabberwocky, 2008-08-27: 16:03:00
Ah, Metrohx: you better tell Monty where the store with the 'semi erotic mannequins' is situated. - OZZIEBOB, 2008-08-28: 01:05:00
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Windower
Created by: dessessopsid
Pronunciation:
Sentence: Greg became a windower everytime he went shopping with Janine.
Etymology: Window: the display space in and directly behind a shop window. And Widower: a man who has lost his wife by death and has not remarried.
