Verboticism: Malaproscription

'Eat! Or you'll turn into a boneless chicken.'

DEFINITION: n., Cautionary advice provided by parents to their children, often makes no logical sense but carries enough emotional weight to affect the child's behavior. v. To warn of danger through the judicious use of exaggeration.

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Malaproscription

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Ultimadeupums

Created by: ScrabbledEgg

Pronunciation: uhlt-eye-mayd-uhp-uhm

Sentence: Son: "Daaaad!" (rolls his eyes to the back of his head at the latest suggestion) Dad: "Don't you roll your eyes at me! I'll roll your head across the floor!!" (a recent ultimadeupum) Son: stops rolling eyes,"Is that really true, Dad?" Dad: "No, son. I just made that junk up. Now stop asking questions before your spit runs out and your tongue shrivels up."

Etymology: ultimatum + I made up, as in "it's a parental right to make sh!t up sometimes when your little farm animal needs it."

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COMMENTS:

Great Word! I wondered where you were today. - Scrumpy, 2007-09-28: 18:32:00

Very creative. Great word. - OZZIEBOB, 2007-09-30: 18:05:00

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Awedition

Created by: Stevenson0

Pronunciation: aw/dish/un

Sentence: Parents awedition their children because it is a fast, easy way to get the behaviour they expect. Unfortunately, when children are put through too many aweditions and are older, they do not trust anything their parents tell them.

Etymology: awe (fear)+ condition

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COMMENTS:

sounds like something a teacher might do - Jabberwocky, 2007-09-28: 11:59:00

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Behaviorelseoid

metrohumanx

Created by: metrohumanx

Pronunciation: bee-HAY-vee-uhr-ELSE-ohyd

Sentence: " I can tell if you're lying - just by feeling your nose." I told little Tommy. With a scream of terror he covered his face like a three foot tall Bela Lugosi and ran home crying. My use of a common BEHAVIORELSEOID works every time, flushing out little untruths wherever they might be lurking. The incident was witnessed by little Laura, who later explained that "There are more blood vessels in the nose." Although there may be some guilt associated with the use of BEHAVIORELSEOIDS in modern childrearing, experts have justified it's use as a potent counterbalance to "freezer experiments", "suspiciously quiet bedrooms" and hilariously blantant lies. By the way, why are there eleven eggs in the fridge and one in the hedges? Someone was trying to HATCH one, weren't they? Come on, let me feel your nose.....

Etymology: BEHAVIor+OR ELSE+ -OID= BEHAVIORELSEOID BEHAVIOR:the manner of conducting oneself ,anything that an organism or urchin does involving action and response to stimulation or uncertainty -alteration of Middle English behavour, from behaven.....OR ELSE: idiom meaning "Regardless of any extenuating circumstances- and I MEAN IT!".....-OID:suffix - something resembling an object or having a (specified) quality of fear inducing behavior modification.

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COMMENTS:

metrohumanx Q: What do Fred Sanford, Augie Doggie, Chuck Connors and Fred MacMurray have in common?.........................A: http://www.tvdads.com/tvdads.shtml - metrohumanx, 2008-08-29: 07:52:00

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Causham

Created by: Rehlit

Pronunciation: kaw-sham

Sentence: Many parents use an insidious causham to frighten their naughty children. Such as "If you eat watermelon seeds, a watermelon will grow in your stomach!"

Etymology: Caution(a warning against danger or evil; anything serving as a warning) + sham (something that is not what it purports to be; a spurious imitation; fraud or hoax; pretended; counterfeit; feigned:)

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Veilacide

Created by: Rhyme79

Pronunciation: vale-uh-syde

Sentence: My dad was really good at veilacide when we were kids. He had us believing all sorts of things that we now know are utter piffle. For example, he told us that if we didn't brush our teeth they would fall out and fly away to find an old person that needed them! For a while I actually believed that eating my crusts would give me curly hair, so I didn't eat them because I wanted straight hair!

Etymology: An anagram of lie-advice. Veil, ( to cover or conceal, a pretense)+ cide, (latin - killer or the act of killing, in this case 'the truth'!)+ the left over 'a' in the middle = veilacide.

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COMMENTS:

DrWebsterIII funny story - DrWebsterIII, 2012-11-03: 04:55:00

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Hyperbmonition

mrskellyscl

Created by: mrskellyscl

Pronunciation: high-perb-mo--ni-tion

Sentence: Mom could come up with a great hyperbmonition when needed, especially where boys were concerned. As a result of her wise counsel, I haven't worn patent leather shoes since the fourth grade.

Etymology: hyperbole: figure of speech in which exaggeration is used for emphasis or effect + monition: cautionary advice or counsel; admonition

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Lorewarning

Created by: Jabberwocky

Pronunciation: lor/war/ning

Sentence: Lorewarning is the practice of raising children by indoctrinating them with urban legends

Etymology: lore (myths) + forewarning

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COMMENTS:

Or suburban legends. Excellent! - Scrumpy, 2007-09-28: 07:50:00

I fought the lore and the lore won! splendid word. - OZZIEBOB, 2007-09-30: 18:16:00

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Mythconduct

Created by: Tigger

Pronunciation: /mith-kon-dukt/

Sentence: Donna stared wistfully at her friends splashing in the pool, and glanced up at the clock again — it'd been only 53 minutes since she'd eaten that banana — seven more minutes before she could go back in the pool. Her mother had warned her many times that going into the water less than an hour after eating would inevitably cause cramps, which were somehow always fatal. 'Would she die from drowning or from the cramps themselves?' she wondered. What if she just dangled her legs in the water? No, it was just too risky. She couldn't overcome the mythconduct her mother had instilled into her. Six minutes and forty five seconds to go...

Etymology: Myth - any invented story, idea, or concept (from Greek, mythos "speech, story") + Conduct - personal behavior; way of acting (from Latin, conductus "to lead or bring together")

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COMMENTS:

metrohumanx I always doubted this prohibition. I even sent it in to "Mythbusters"....to no avail. - metrohumanx, 2008-08-29: 06:00:00

Well, Mythbusters did prove that you shouldn't spin around in a makeshift wirlpool too soon after eating pizza. Funny episode. But I'm convinced that the 1-hour 'no swimming' rule is nonsense. But I knew kids whose mothers wouldn't even let them stand in the wading pool because of that rule. - Tigger, 2008-08-29: 10:12:00

Good word - TJayzz, 2008-08-29: 13:43:00

Welcome back, Tigger, we mythed you! - Nosila, 2008-08-29: 20:09:00

This one is my favorite, well done! - Rehlit, 2008-09-01: 00:50:00

Good word there Tigger, it has a nice ring to it! I like the way you think :) - abrakadeborah, 2009-03-14: 19:07:00

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Hyperpoultry

Created by: Nosila

Pronunciation: hi per pol tree

Sentence: "The sky is falling, the sky is falling!" is what young Eggbert had heard since he was hatched. This was an example of the hyperpoultry his parents used on him to control his natural curiousity. If he did not die from fowl play, he hoped instead to become a fryer in a monastery, if he could pullet it off!

Etymology: Hyperbole (extravagant exaggeration) & Poultry (fowl,a domesticated gallinaceous bird)

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Emochide

Created by: AlohaJo

Pronunciation: E-mo-ch-I-de

Sentence: The boy, after disobeying his father's warning, had to sit through a lengthy emochide.

Etymology: emotional+ chide

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