Verboticism: Fibdjet

'Why do you always carry that file folder?'

DEFINITION: n. A prop (e.g. papers, files or any non-functional equipment) used to create the illusion of busyness. v. To use office supplies to create the illusion that you are working.

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Figmendation

Created by: Nosila

Pronunciation: fig men day shun

Sentence: As a long time civil servant in the federal Department of the Obscure and Forgotten Files, Roger was the King of the Toadies. He spent his entire workday carrying around a file folder which was labelled S.M.A.R.T. It looked very official and proved to the innocent bystander or visitor that Roger was a man with a special mission and purpose in his work. In fact the S.M.A.R.T. File was a figmendation. It usually contained a crossword puzzle or scratch & win cards, which Roger would spend his days at work playing. His co-workers thought that the S.M.A.R.T. stood for Segregated Modules Actualizing Relative Theory. In fact, the S.M.A.R.T. acronym actually stood for See Me Avoiding Real Toil. Yes, Roger was also known by his more popular nickname: The SmartFile Dodger!

Etymology: figment (a contrived or fantastic idea, i.e: a figment of the imagination) & mendacious (intentionally untrue;lying)

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COMMENTS:

metrohumanx Did Riger work at the Texas Blog Suppository? Ya crack me up, Nose! - metrohumanx, 2008-08-06: 16:37:00

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Bossacoy

Created by: abrakadeborah

Pronunciation: boss-a-coy

Sentence: In order for Bob to fool his boss...he would often walk around with his trusty bossacoy to look busy.

Etymology: Boss-Manager. Part of "Decoy" - Someone or something used to draw attention away from another.

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Fibdjet

giveaphuk

Created by: giveaphuk

Pronunciation: Fib De Jet

Sentence: she fibdjeted with pieces of paper while looking @ the clock waiting from home time.

Etymology: Fib = to like & djet - ending of word fidget - meaning to behave or move nervously or restlessly.

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Illusibusion

Created by: remistram

Pronunciation: ill-uge-ee-busy-un

Sentence: Stan was an expert at utilizing effective illusibusions - so much so that he was promoted to senior clerk.

Etymology: illusion + busy

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Fillusion

protothor

Created by: protothor

Pronunciation: fillusion

Sentence: This fillusion is working very well; no one even expects I'm not doing anything.

Etymology: From 'file' and 'illusion', anything that gives an observer the idea that you're preoccupied.

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Fileusion

Created by: Nosila

Pronunciation: fyl loo zhun

Sentence: He was the Great Pretender in our office. Sadly, because he was a male, he got away with it for way longer than any female would even dare try. Yes, Seymour Dolittle, was a fileusion. He would stalk the halls carrying a file folder and pretend to "do his rounds" with nothing more than what turned out to be a pizza place menu and and a bus schedule in his file folder. He fooled the senior management for over 5 years (the ladies in the company twigged on after a year or two, but had nowhere to lodge their concerns). When the cuts came, no one could salvage Seymour, as he worked for no one, did not report to anyone and could never successfully explain his presence in the hallowed halls. Luckily for him, he worked long enough to collect a great pension, unemployment insurance and a tasty severance for all his hard-worked time. Nice work if you can get it...and he wasn't even a CEO of anything!

Etymology: File (a set of related records (either written or electronic) kept together) & Illusion (an erroneous mental representation; the act of deluding; deception by creating illusory ideas; an illusory feat; considered magical by naive observers)

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Slothouflage

Created by: bigdog

Pronunciation: slawth-o-flazhe

Sentence: The piles of paper on my desk are all just slothouflage to stop the boss from seeing my pillow and scotch bottle.

Etymology: sloth (indolence) + camouflage (disguise)

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Propcupie

Mrgoodtimes

Created by: Mrgoodtimes

Pronunciation: prahp- cue - pie

Sentence: Looking over his desk, John wondered which of his propcupies to bring with him on his daily walk to the vending machine. He knew he had to walk with pace and urgency to develop the right volume of sweat on his brow, but also the right iPad, laptop, red binder, 90's beeper, bluetooth, box labeled "Fragile" combo was key to success.

Etymology: Prop - occupy

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Assumetote

Created by: jadenguy

Pronunciation: as OOM tot

Sentence: Like a vampire hunter to the cross, he lept across his cubicle and grabbed a stack of printed material on company letterhead as his boss approached; his assumetote being just enough of a ruse to confuse his superior for perhaps another week. His smokescreen-jobsaver spreadsheet was already drawing suspicion as to exactly how much time he spent playing internet word games!

Etymology: assume + tote + asymptote assume (people assume you are working ) + tote (to carry) + asymptote (to infinitely approach something (work))

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COMMENTS:

yeah, like people play internet word games at work! implausible. - jadenguy, 2007-06-13: 11:40:00

Can I have a copy of that spreadsheet? - purpleartichokes, 2007-06-13: 13:52:00

you come up with very creative sentences jadenguy - Jabberwocky, 2007-06-13: 14:51:00

i try. i try. - jadenguy, 2007-06-13: 17:12:00

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Bogustrive

Created by: kendriveset

Pronunciation: bo-ga-strive

Sentence: Jim took more effort to bogustrive around the office than it would\'ve taken to actually do some work.

Etymology: bogus + strive

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COMMENTS:

good one - Nosila, 2010-01-07: 18:50:00

thanks so much - kendriveset, 2010-01-08: 15:48:00

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