Verboticism: Masturgration

'Oh-oh, I'm surrounded '

DEFINITION: n. A pile of used and discarded tissues; may constitute a bio-hazard. v. To drop a used tissue on to the floor beside your bed or chair, because you are so sick you can barely move.

Create | Read

Already Voted

Vote not counted. We have already counted two anonymous votes from your network. If you haven't voted yet, you can login and then we will count your vote.


Masturgration

You still have one vote left...

Tississue

Created by: Mustang

Pronunciation: tiss_ISS-yew

Sentence: Feeling rotten all over from the bug he was fighting Barry realized he had a potentially dangerous tississue with the growing pile of infectious kleenex but he just felt too lousy to make the necessary effort to deal with it

Etymology: Blend of 'tissue' (sanitary wipe) and 'issue' (in a state of controversy)

Vote For | Comments and Points

Snortification

Created by: Tigger

Pronunciation: /SNAWRT-tuh-fi-key-shun/

Sentence: After hacking, sneezing and snorting his way through four boxes of Kleenex over the last day and a half, Harry looked around to find himself surrounded by a snortification of used tissues. 'Typhoid Harry' was going to have to look for a weakness in the structure and find a way to break through the wall of Unkleenex rather quickly — another wave of nausea was coming on and he suspected he'd need a clear path to run to the toilet again.

Etymology: Snort - to breathe noisily and forcefully through the nostrils (from Middle English, snorten; probably related to "snore") + Fortification - defensive structure built around a stronghold (from Latin, fortis "strong")

----------------------------
COMMENTS:

Perhaps he used the snortification to keep well wishers and do-gooders from cnstantly bothering him! - arrrteest, 2008-03-10: 22:01:00

----------------------------

Vote For | Comments and Points

Topplesnot

Created by: Jamagra

Pronunciation: top'/el/snot

Sentence: "Be careful," she warned her guest, "I've had a nasty cold all weekend and I haven't cleaned up the topplesnots yet. There's one on the couch and one beside the la-z-boy, so watch your step."

Etymology: topple (to fall or tumble forward as from having too heavy of a top) + snot (mucus from the nasal passages)

Vote For | Comments and Points

Viralysis

petaj

Created by: petaj

Pronunciation: vi-RAL-a-sis

Sentence: Although Kevin was in danger of asphyxiation by tissue, his viralysis was total and he could do nothing more than drop another tissue onto the sodden snotscape.

Etymology: viral + paralysis

----------------------------
COMMENTS:

kashman Brilliant...quite "snoty" analysis of the "paralysis" :) - kashman, 2008-03-10: 13:00:00

this word really grows on you - Jabberwocky, 2008-03-10: 16:57:00

----------------------------

Vote For | Comments and Points

Inphlegmatory

Created by: Nosila

Pronunciation: in flem a tor ee

Sentence: The Fire Marshall was certain to declare that the bedroom floor of Sal Iver's house was definitely an inphlegmatory risk. Sal had been sick with the flu for 2 days and had neither the skill nor the will to put all his used tissues in a receptacle. His bedroom was the site of much hankie pankie and the normally phlegmboyant Sal was reduced to that of a bronchialbuster who had not lasted long enough to win the big purse. The irony was that 2 days ago, he had planned to phone in sick to play hookey from work. He figured the word Gesundheit meant "serves you right". All this while his catarrh gently weeps...sniff, sniff!

Etymology: Inflammatory (characterized or caused by inflammation;unhealthy, detrimental to health) & Phlegm (Mucous,expectorated matter;saliva mixed with discharges from the respiratory passages)

----------------------------
COMMENTS:

Ack !! I wanted to use "phlegm" for this one. Let's see... there are three more body fluids, right? I mean, phlegm, blood, something and something else... Gosh this is going to be difficult. - XMbIPb, 2010-05-19: 02:48:00

----------------------------

Vote For | Comments and Points

Encompasnot

Created by: remistram

Pronunciation: en-kuhm-puh-snot

Sentence: After he removed the encompasnot from the entire floor of his bedroom, he hesitated to dispose of it in the composter, perhaps it would contaminate the earth? Maybe grow into a big mucus tree of snot?

Etymology: encompass + snot

Vote For | Comments and Points

Bleghthargy

DevynAlexanderSkyeHarris

Created by: DevynAlexanderSkyeHarris

Pronunciation: Bleh-Thar-Gee

Sentence: Slpatch. The sound of hazmat level tissues colliding to floor was louder than he expected. "I'm sick." Duviidu cooed disfigured. "That is no reason to be lazy now." Snapped back Loran. Duviidu glanced over to her. "Uh, Its just bleghthargy you know? Like the name for the physical weakness accompanied with feeling sick?" She looked puzzled like a caterpillar on its turn during the weekly Shakespeare trivia night. "You're Bleghthargic? No You're just lazy."

Etymology: 1. Blegh: Indicating lack of motivation or used to describe that something is sickening. 2. Lethargy: Being lazy, sluggish or indifferent.

Vote For | Comments and Points

Phlegmbuoyancy

Created by: Nosila

Pronunciation: flem boy ansee

Sentence: Even when deathly ill, Marcus exuded a certain phlegmbuoyancy. Although he felt he was on death's doorknob, he wore his silk pyjamas and monogrammed silk robe, along with his designer slippers. He used not paper hankies or toilet paper to remove his mucus, but a supply of monogrammed silk handkerchiefs, which his butler gathered up to send to the CDC in Atlanta. Marcus reclined on his chaiselongue, under a mink throw and suffered through this ague. With a full table of aspirin, cough syrups and decongestants, everything that modern medicine could afford was laid out at his bedside. His butler brought him hot toddies in gold or silver goblets and had steamy moisture piped into his sick room. He winced when his doctor had told him he had the Common Cold...how could that happen to one of such superior breeding? Beside his bed lay one of the classic books he currently read, called Great Expectorations, printed in its original Phlegmish language!

Etymology: Phlegm (nasal mucus) & Buoyancy (cheerfulness that bubbles to the surface;irrepressible liveliness and good spirit;the property of something weightless and insubstantial) Flamboyancy (richly and brilliantly colorful;elaborately or excessively ornamented)

----------------------------
COMMENTS:

Eleveating the common cold to the royal pain it truly is! The grandiose elevated to the grandinose! - silveryaspen, 2009-01-02: 07:43:00

----------------------------

Vote For | Comments and Points

Snotzone

Created by: purpleartichokes

Pronunciation: snot-zone

Sentence: Seeing Bob lying there with a cesspool of snot rags beside him, Sue knew what she had to do. She quickly donned her self-contained breathing apparatus and fully encapsulated Level A suit, entered the snotzone, and began to gingerly pluck the mucousy mess from the floor.

Etymology: hot zone (in HAZMAT response, the area of contamination), snot

----------------------------
COMMENTS:

libertybelle hee hee - you beat me to it! - libertybelle, 2008-03-10: 09:30:00

gross, but funny - Jabberwocky, 2008-03-10: 13:26:00

----------------------------

Vote For | Comments and Points

Masturgration

Created by: idavecook

Pronunciation: MASS-TER-GRAY-SHUN

Sentence: Steve was so sick he couldn't believe the enormity of the masturgration that had occurred when he came to.

Etymology: Those dirty little tissues that seem pile up when you're feeling really sick.

Vote For | Comments and Points

Show All or More...