Verboticism: Telegrater

'Hello? Hello? Is this customer service?'

DEFINITION: v. To greet a person on the phone in rude or obnoxious manner, and then do your best to ignore, or talk over, whatever they say as the conversation continues. n. A person with atrocious phone manners.

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Telegrater

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Cellacious

artr

Created by: artr

Pronunciation: sel-ey-shuhs

Sentence: Judy thought it was the biggest joke to send out cellacious messages on hers and friends phones. Her little prank backfired on her when she accidentally left an obscene voicemail for the head of HR for the company she used to work for.

Etymology: cell (wireless phone) + salacious (obscene; grossly indecent)

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Phonewitch

Created by: arrrteest

Pronunciation: ph┼Źn-wich

Sentence: Becky was an angry employee. She worked late nights at a call center with a hundred other telephone customer service representatives. It was not a job that suited her, for she was a phonewitch extraordinaire. Bitter about life in general, she took it out on the random caller who happened upon her. Sometimes she would answer, "Please hold while I finish filing my nails," or "Sorry, but we've reached our quota on stupid calls." Other times she would mumble unintelligently until the customer would hang up. When she was feeling particularly good, she would instigate arguments until the customer asked for the manager, at which she would put them on hold for a while and then get back on and pretend she was the manager.

Etymology: phone + witch : also, phonebitch

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COMMENTS:

hehehe, I wish I could do that sometimes! - pieceof314, 2008-04-16: 08:54:00

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Lineswine

youmustvotenato

Created by: youmustvotenato

Pronunciation: line-swine

Sentence: "WHO'S THIS?!?!?" barked the old lady over the phone. I immediately hung up. Not dealing with lineswine today.

Etymology: line (phone line) + swine (pig)

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Uncivilservant

Created by: Nosila

Pronunciation: un siv ill ser vant

Sentence: Rudi was aptly named. She was employed by the Dept. of Political Correctness and Fair Treatment. Unfortunately she had been a transferee from the Taxation Dept. so in fact, she was an uncivilservant. She snarled into telephones, was rude with co-workers and clients and apparently hated her job. The irony was that she had more Employee of the Month and Outstanding Customer Service Awards than anyone else in her department. Can you imagine what the rest of them were like???

Etymology: Uncivil (lacking civility or good manners) & Civil Servant (a public official who is a member of the civil service)

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COMMENTS:

karenanne "Rudi" - ha! - karenanne, 2010-06-24: 13:42:00

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Yellephone

Created by: mweinmann

Pronunciation: yell - eh - fone

Sentence: At one time or another, Starbucks, Subway, AT&T, Papa John's and the paperboy have all received yellephone calls from Joyce. These calls are usually long and loud as Joyce vents all of her pent up anger and frustration on whatever poor person happens to answer.

Etymology: yell, telephone

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Rudeceptionist

Created by: TJayzz

Pronunciation: Rood-sepshunist

Sentence: I swear that by the way the rudeceptionist spoke to me on the phone, she thought that I was some kind of simpleton!

Etymology: Rude (Impolite,unnecessarily curt) + Receptionist(Person that answers company calls and deals with Customer service enquiries

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COMMENTS:

Love it! - Tigger, 2008-04-16: 23:05:00

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Brusqueteer

Created by: Nosila

Pronunciation: brusk a teer

Sentence: Friends since childhood, the 3 girls worked the Call Centre for a giant pizza chain. Since they hated their low-paying jobs, they amused themselves each night shift by seeing who could be the rudest Brusqueteer to customers each night. When they did finally lose their jobs, they boasted their motto,"All Fired One, One fired All!"

Etymology: Brusque (marked by rude or peremptory shortness) & Musketeer (a foot soldier armed with a musket...depicted in fiction as the Three Musketeers by Alexandre Dumas in 1844, whose motto was "All for One, One For All).

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COMMENTS:

I talked to Brusque just this afternoon. - Mustang, 2009-06-02: 08:08:00

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Viletone

Created by: Nosila

Pronunciation: vial tone

Sentence: Helen worked at the Help Desk of her company's IT Dept. Hah, Helen thought,Help Desk was an oxymoron of a name for it. She went out of her way to ensure that Help Desk was an ironic choice of name. Whenever those moronic employees would call about their petty issues, she'd snidely say things like: "Is your computer plugged in? Did you turn it on yet? How can you be so stupid as to not know the terminology? Call us back when you get a clue!" She was always cutting people off, swearing at them and taking out her bad moods by being a viletone with the callers. Her co-workers cringed when she answered the phone and they felt pity for the poor slob on the other end of the line. That was until one day when she picked the wrong client to offend. After viletoning him for ten minutes, Helen was left speechless to find that she had bad-mouthed her boss. Bill Gates told her that she would never have to worry about hating her job again...

Etymology: vile (thoroughly unpleasant, morally reprehensible,nasty, offensive,despicable) & tone (the general atmosphere of a place or situation and the effect that it has on people,the elastic tension of living muscles, arteries, etc. that facilitate response to stimuli) & dial tone (sound given by telephone exchange to show line is clear to make a call)

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Telecrone

Created by: galwaywegian

Pronunciation: teh leh krow nnnnnnnnn

Sentence: Shrilla was the scariest telecrone in the complaints department. She had a voice that made chalk screeching down a blackboard sound like a choir of angels. she could swear in fourteen languages and had some strange power of transmitting her gin-based halitosis down the phone lines. Nobody had ever lasted more than 78 seconds with their complaints. She was paid more than the entire R&D section of the company.

Etymology: telephone, crone

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COMMENTS:

great sentence - Jabberwocky, 2008-04-16: 08:24:00

Clever blend. Love the name 'Shrilla'!! - Tigger, 2008-04-16: 22:57:00

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Grembiseech

Created by: diyan627

Pronunciation: grem bi seeech

Sentence: My cell phone company has a whole lovely array of grembiseeches working for them. Works out really well for them and the way they put erroneous charges to my account that can never be resolved or even disputed properly because I can't actually carry on a decent conversation with any of them. Me thinks part of customer service training is a course on the art of being a grembiseech in order to make communicating with them as painful and inefficient as possible.

Etymology: greet + gremlin (adept at subverting or sabotaging mechanical systems) + Bit*% + beseech (to address or request earnestly)

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