DEFINITION: v., To not feel guilty about all the weight you're putting on, because you need all the extra calories you can get, to survive the harsh winter climate. n., A type of fat gained by mammals in preparation for winter hibernation.

Flabsolve

Created by: metrohumanx

Pronunciation: FLAB-zolve ...flabsolution

Sentence: Oliver could hardy [sic] believe his good fortune. The local weathermen had predicted a massive blizzard which would surely keep him snowbound for months. Life had been no PYCNIC for Ollie, dieting all summer, trying to foragenerate enough fats and proteins to satiate his appetite. Corpulentil soup just didn't do it for him. Now he could FLABSOLVE himself of any guilt for increasing his bulk over the winter. There wasn't much to do, living this far north. Ollie couldn't jog on the ro-tundra, nor could he pud-gyrate at the skating rink. Yes, the obese-ason was here, and he knew he would become davenportly, stout and quite dumpy as he bypassed his days on the heavysettee. The porcinema was not an option, as the seats were too small- there was no need to lap-ologize for that. Oliver's days were abdominated by the internet as he ingested all the savory bits he had stockpiled for just such an occasion. Now he could alibi-nge on deep-fried pork ends and he would surely be FLABSOLVED as he vindic-ate his way to a new profile. When not verbotomizing, Ollie spent a lot of time at defendaflab.com! His caloriclaim to fame might get him into the record books...and besides- he could shed those pounds in the spring. But now it was time to chow down. That's ANOTHER fine mess hall he's gotten himself into!

Etymology: FLAB+abSOLVE=FLABSOLVE.....FLAB: back-formation from flabby ; soft fatty body tissue.....ABSOLVE:to set free from an obligation or the consequences of guilt;Middle English, from Latin absolvere, from ab- + solvere to loosen (one's standards of caloric intake).

Points: 1016

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