Verboticism: Softenbark

'I'm getting my vocal cords tuned!'

DEFINITION: n. A non-threatening term to describe the procedure of cutting vocal cords on yappy dogs, which makes it sound like a good thing -- after all, they will never bark again. v. To remove the vocal chords.

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Softenbark

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Goldenize

artr

Created by: artr

Pronunciation: gōldənīz

Sentence: When Ron saw an ad from his vet offering to goldenize his dog he was intrigued. Control his dog’s barking? That sounded great. When he found out that it involved cutting the vocal cords he was stunned.

Etymology: golden (very favorable) + ize (suffix forming verbs) because ”silence is golden”

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Yapendectomy

Created by: Nosila

Pronunciation: yap pen dek toe mee

Sentence: Fifi was so excited. She loved going in the car with her "Mommy". A car ride meant a run in the off-leash park or a free dog cone from Dairy Queen. Today Mommy had told her she was going to get a yapendectomy...she was so excited she barked all the way there. When they pulled up to the building, Fifi realized it was the same place where her brother Rover had gone when he had gotten tutored!

Etymology: Yap (bark in a high-pitched tone)& Appendectomy (surgical removal of the vermiform appendix)

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COMMENTS:

artr Great, now my kid won\'t go to his tutor! - artr, 2009-08-31: 06:33:00

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Barkmuffle

Created by: jedijawa

Pronunciation: bark-muff-el

Sentence: Fido had a barkmuffle performed so he won't have to worry about barking anymore.

Etymology: bark + muffle

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Woofsterectomy

Created by: Bulletchewer

Pronunciation: wuff-ster-rect-o-mee

Sentence: Every dog has his day, and today, neighbourhood nuisance Rover was having a woofsterectomy.

Etymology: From "woof" meaning (dunno, don't speak dog)and "hysterectomy" meaning bye bye baby, baby goodbye....

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Marceauing

Created by: maxxy

Pronunciation: mar-SEW-ing

Sentence: Fluffy was a little hesitant -- he remembered how he he had thought "neutering" meant he'd get his own private fetch instructor -- but, still, the prospect of being marceaued just sounded so elegant.

Etymology: From Marcel Marceau, world-famous mime

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COMMENTS:

Clever! - wordmeister, 2007-01-30: 11:38:00

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Yelphelp

Created by: quippingqueen

Pronunciation: yelp/help

Sentence: The yodelling vet enthusiastically trilled on about how the yelphelp procedure was really quite simple - yank the yapping muscle once and for all.

Etymology: yelp + help

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COMMENTS:

Yonderful! - wordmeister, 2007-01-30: 12:39:00

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Dogcilise

Created by: Discoveria

Pronunciation: Dorg-sill-lies

Sentence: Are you tired of hearing that ceaseless yapping? Do you constantly wear earplugs? Then why not dogcilise young Rover? Swift and painless dogcilising facilities only at Golden Silences Vet Practice.

Etymology: Dog + docile: docile meaning quiet, meek. Also suggests 'sterilise'.

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Kittifying

Created by: allwise

Pronunciation: kit-i-fy-ing

Sentence: -"Hey little doggie, it's time to get you kittified!, yes it is," (cuddle, cuddle) "who's daddy's little cutie?!" (more cuddle cuddle)

Etymology: kittify - to make more catlike and cute

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Yapotomy

CharlieB

Created by: CharlieB

Pronunciation: yap-o-tə-mi

Sentence: After a week of mournful looks and silence from Fido, Mrs Smythe strongly suspected her neighbour had kidnapped the poor pooch in the night and performed a yapotomy.

Etymology: yap (of a small dog – to bark constantly) + -tomy (surgical incision)

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COMMENTS:

rough - galwaywegian, 2011-01-18: 10:14:00

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Shushpuppy

Created by: Jabberwocky

Pronunciation: shush/pup/pee

Sentence: Shushpuppy is a humane procedure that will enable your dog to accompany you anywhere without being a nuisance - he would thank you for it (if he could)

Etymology: shush (to silence)+ hushpuppy

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COMMENTS:

Sorry Jabberwocky, I did not realize that after my entry triggered a "Join shushpuppy group" I would be listed for the same submittal you had already entered. I expected to be able to try to enter another word. - chofu67, 2007-01-30: 11:11:00

no problem chofus67 - We probably thought of it at the same time - I wonder if that means we can vote for each other... - Jabberwocky, 2007-01-30: 11:21:00

Verbotomy Hey Chofu67 and Jabberwocky, Great minds think alike! Nevertheless, I was thinking of removing the "join group" function. What do you think? - Verbotomy, 2007-01-30: 11:35:00

It's fine with me either way - from Chofu67's comment, it sounds as if it was accidental anyway. It may happen though that a group decides to put in a word together and would appreciate the option - Jabberwocky, 2007-01-30: 12:05:00

Now that I know what "join group" means, I probably won't use that function again, so it could stay or go. - chofu67, 2007-01-30: 12:44:00

Looks like you guys had roughly the same idea I did. - ErWenn, 2007-01-30: 20:58:00

I think it was the picture - it reminded me of the old hush puppy commercials - Jabberwocky, 2007-01-31: 08:42:00

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