Verboticism: Jargonest

'We have securitized the lavatory entrance systems'

DEFINITION: v. To demonstrate your superior knowledge and intellect by using complex, confusing and mind-numbingly stupid jargon. n. A person who uses big words to inflate their unusually small ideas.

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Jargonest

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Normcrosbeing

Created by: Nosila

Pronunciation: norm croz bee ing

Sentence: Norma Crosby was the quintessential Normcrosbeing in our office. She thought by using big words (that she had seen in print, but apparently failed to check the definitions of), people would think she was far more educated than the Grade 10 level she had actually achieved, barely. When she had transferred into our HR Office, she felt it obliged her to speak far above the intellect of our internal clients, even if it meant inventing her own words. The clients were often left shaken and confused when she spoke in large words that had nothing to do with the topic at hand. As a result, people avoided her like the plague and chose not to believe any facts that she presented. Her personal crusade was that unless words were at least eight or ten letters long, why bother to use them?? It would be redumbdant and wasterly and youtilize no hexpediant deliverables.

Etymology: Norm Crosby - (Comedian, considered the Master of the Malaprop, who uses the wrong words, usually big ones to make confusing, funny comments.(i.e he speaks from his diagram and drinks decapitated coffee) & Being (a creature, a living person)

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COMMENTS:

metrohumanx I swear we must have worked in the same place in a prior lifetime. - metrohumanx, 2008-12-31: 00:55:00

You are probably right...in "The Office"! And now you know why it is a hit! - Nosila, 2008-12-31: 23:11:00

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Malaproporter

Created by: Nosila

Pronunciation: mal a prop por ter

Sentence: When Christine was in charge of giving instructions, she was a malaproporter. Her big, convaluting words and writing, often left the office staff with confusing instructions. When she ran for the office of Safety and Evacuation Officer, she was voted out, due to her unclear and head-spinning guidance!

Etymology: Malapropism (A malapropism is the production of an incorrect word in place of a word with a similar sound, resulting in a nonsensical, often humorous utterance & Purporter (the intended meaning of a communication have the often specious appearance of being, intending, or claiming)

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Totalitoiletry

Created by: CannonFire

Pronunciation: toe - tahl - it - toy - let - tree

Sentence: The new boss is out of control! This totalitoiletry MUST stop!

Etymology:

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Jargontificate

Created by: Tigger

Pronunciation: /jahr-gon-TIF-i-keyt/

Sentence: All of Ken's employees and co-workers wondered how he had gotten his job, as an Information Technology Manager, since he was practically computer-illiterate and he could barely turn a computer on without help. He was a charismatic talker though, so even though he went around using inappropriate techno-terms and unrelated buzzwords, and he would jargontificate endlessly, he only sounded convincing to other computer-illiterate people. Then he mentioned his background as a Car Salesman, and it all started to make sense.

Etymology: Jargon - language characterized pretentious vocabulary and convoluted syntax, often vague in meaning (from Old French, gargon "a chattering" [of birds]) + Pontificate - to speak in a pompous or dogmatic manner (from Latin, pontifex "bridge-maker")

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COMMENTS:

Great last line in your sentence! Well selected etymology. Good word! - silveryaspen, 2008-03-06: 10:55:00

So many good submissions today picking was tough. But this one's a peach, so I picked it. - stache, 2008-03-06: 15:13:00

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Gobblededash

Created by: Mustang

Pronunciation: GOB-uhl-dee-dash

Sentence: Jean had a little in the way of technical knowledge regarding electronic, photographic and surveillance systems but she had a huge vocabulary and when called on to discuss those topics could be counted on to ramble on with enthusiastic gobblededash not realizing that most folks knew she was blathering.

Etymology: Blend of 'gobbledygook' (language characterized by circumlocution and jargon, usually hard to understand)and 'balderdash' (nonsense)

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Dicktionary

karenanne

Created by: karenanne

Pronunciation: DIK shun air ee

Sentence: Arry Gant is such a dicktionary. He likes to use fancy words to obscure the true meaning of what he is really saying, while making it sound really important. Everything he says is technically true; it just comes off sounding a lot better than what really happened. For example, he told us yesterday that he went to an evening philosophy lecture on campus last Thursday, probably because he thought it would impress this really cute girl who hangs out with us a lot. I was getting tired of his B.S., so I called his bluff in front of her and asked him to tell us some things about it. He responded, "Well, it was so esoteric and arcane as to be virtually impenetrable. I only wish it had could have been less rarefied and more prosaic." The girl, whose intelligence he had vastly underestimated, responded, "So what you're saying is that the lecture was meant mainly for people who already have knowledge of the study of philosophy, and so you didn't understand anything the speakers were saying because you probably haven't taken any classes in it. You wish it had been way more simplified so you could have actually understood some of it. Is that right?" All he could say in response was, "Uhhhh...yeah, that's basically it," before slinking away, claiming that he had to "go do something very urgent and important."

Etymology: dick + dictionary

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COMMENTS:

Good word and story...Arry'd make a great dicktator! - Nosila, 2010-05-17: 17:11:00

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Gobbledygush

Created by: Mustang

Pronunciation: gobl - dee - gush

Sentence: Annabelle was certain her presentations were made more interesting and informative by the loquacious nature of her vocabulary but her listeners invariably regarded them as so much gobbledygush.

Etymology: Blend of gobbledygook (mumbo jumbo) and gush....to spew.

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COMMENTS:

Rolls off the tongue....lovely - amigamark, 2008-03-06: 13:56:00

Great Create! - silveryaspen, 2008-03-06: 11:47:00

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Communigreation

Created by: Biscotti

Pronunciation: Kuh-mewn-i-gray-shun

Sentence: Andy loved communigreation. It always confused his friends when talking about his pet rock collection when he used words like "gargantuan" or "crystalization".

Etymology: Communication + great (big)

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COMMENTS:

Nice one! - silveryaspen, 2008-03-06: 11:01:00

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Beepbingo

Created by: telly8293

Pronunciation:

Sentence:

Etymology:

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Bigblurtzah

Created by: silveryaspen

Pronunciation: big - blurtz - ah

Sentence: Whether it be the professor, the politician, the military drill instructor, the businessman, or anyone, those who think they can confuse and impress with big words are just bigblurtzahs!

Etymology: Big: huge Blurtz: spewing big words without giving any thought to what is uttered. Zah: my own creation for a synonym for Ugh! A play on the expression Big Bertha!

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COMMENTS:

how true - Jabberwocky, 2008-03-06: 13:11:00

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