Verboticism: Skimprovise

'My nose hairs are scary!'

DEFINITION: n. A tool which has been re-purposed and is now being used (perhaps unsafely) to perform a completely different function. v. To use a tool for a different purpose than for which it was originally designed.

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Disasterisk

metrohumanx

Created by: metrohumanx

Pronunciation: dizz-ASS-turr-ISK

Sentence: Hacko's imported car had broken down on the Antelope Freeway, and as his deceased vehicle shuddered with the passing of each tractor trailer, he rummaged through the "hell box" of assorted utensils which took the place of a proper tool kit. Hacko was mechanically compromised, but he decided to DISASTERISK an amateur repair. Fortunately, he was not alone in his peril. Hacko's girlfriend and co-pilot/navigator was there with words of encouragement and derision to hasten his efforts at improvised repair. She handed him the HAZMOFLANGE, the WOUNDEVICE, the TRYTOFORCEITON, the NONFUNCTOROD, the BASSAKWARTOOL, the GIZMAYHURTCHA, the MISGUIDEPRESSOR, the MAYDAMAGEALLDEBAR and the chrome-plated MUTENSIL. After severing a tendon and skinning his knuckles, Hacko discovered that a DISASTERISK * was the tool most unsuited to to this particular problem. After sever bursting lacerations, he improperly used the DISASTERISK to hammer the engine into a steaming heap, demonstrated his version of "The Pain Dance" and stumbled down a hill onto a secondary road where he hailed a tow truck and ended his motorized nightmare...................................... * Nobody really knew what the DISASTERISK was, but some say it was purchased when Hacko fell under the hypnotic spell of a late-night infomercial and several bottles of fine Australian wine.

Etymology: DISaster+ASTErisk+RISK=DISASTERISK.....DISASTER: a sudden calamitous event bringing great damage, loss, or destruction, a sudden or great misfortune or failure; Middle French & Old Italian; Middle French desastre, from Old Italian disastro, from dis- (from Latin) + astro star, from Latin astrum.....ASTERISK: the character * used in printing or writing as a reference to various arbitrary meanings; Middle English, astarisc, from Late Latin asteriscus, from Greek asteriskos, literally, little star, diminutive of aster-, astēr.....RISK: someone or something that creates or suggests a hazard, possibility of loss or injury or peril; French risque, from Italian risco (1661).

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COMMENTS:

metrohumanx Always carry road flares, a roll of duct tape and a cool talisman when motoring. - metrohumanx, 2009-03-09: 01:54:00

metrohumanx http://www.odd-tools.com/ - metrohumanx, 2009-03-09: 03:01:00

metrohumanx As the sun describes it's mighty arc over this hapless continent, I await eagerly the many creative wordisms about to appear... - metrohumanx, 2009-03-09: 03:16:00

I love 'MUTENSIL'. - Tigger, 2009-03-09: 11:03:00

Disasterisk...great word! - Nosila, 2009-03-09: 22:56:00

Excellent! - Mustang, 2009-03-10: 02:54:00

Wonderful :) - abrakadeborah, 2009-03-25: 14:04:00

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Gadgetlag

Created by: Nosila

Pronunciation: gad jet lag

Sentence: Ever since Wilbur & Orville had sent air travel to the next plane, A.Fred O'Travel worked night and day to find something to help passengers get over the fear of flying. More specifically, he found passengers were not as much afraid of flying and as afraid of getting the dreaded jet lag, which could immobilize them upon disembarkment. So Fred made a device which helped passengers to calm down and not shout out as embarrassing statements as "They are going in the wrong direction" and turn them into positive statements, like, "We don't care where the pilots land, as long as it is on Earth!" Not only did this tool (which was placed in each passenger's drink, act as an anti-gadgetlag, it made the passengers remember a happy, ethereal experience, which made them want to book again and again with NirvanAir.

Etymology: gadget (a device that is very useful for a particular job) & Jet Lag(fatigue and sleep disturbance resulting from disruption of the body's normal circadian rhythm as a result of jet travel)

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COMMENTS:

Egad! - silveryaspen, 2009-03-10: 14:57:00

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Pimplement

Created by: Nosila

Pronunciation: pimp lem ent

Sentence: Doris had the insane idea that if she cut down the size of her husband`s sander, it would be great for her erupting skin. It could make the surface smooth, slough off dead cells and stimulate the pores to prevent and eliminate acne. She called it her pimplement and after the first disastrous procedure, the paramedics advised her that her foolishness caused them to laugh their faces off, too.

Etymology: Pimple (acne, a zit) & Implement (equipment or tool used for a purpose)

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Oooooooooohtensil

Created by: galwaywegian

Pronunciation: ooooooooooh ten sihl

Sentence: with one quick twist of the pliers and the addition of an electric motor. the kitchen utensil became an oooooooooooohtensil.

Etymology: utensil, oooooooooh

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Tual

Created by: kateinkorea

Pronunciation: TYOO eul

Sentence: Many months after her boyfriend had run out on her, Sally realized that she had to clean out the basement of Dick’s tools. As she piled them by the garbage she suddenly started to see another picture. These tools might have other uses. It began with duct tape. She discovered that everything in her kitchen could be fixed, held together, or constructed with the help of duct tape. Soon she was cutting garlic with a utility knife; marinating meat in a paint tray; using crescent wrenches or hammers to tenderize meat; and a drill with a twirly contraption on the end as a mixer. All of these tools had dual functions. This huge tual box had proven its worthiness and found a place in her new kitchen-workshop.

Etymology: TOOL: DUAL:

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COMMENTS:

Sounds like the perfect word for Alton Brown (from the show 'Good Eats' - not sure if you've seen it, but he's always using items from the hardware store in the kitchen). - Tigger, 2009-03-09: 11:09:00

Smile-icious! - silveryaspen, 2009-03-09: 11:13:00

super - Jabberwocky, 2009-03-09: 13:54:00

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Mixmasterplumber

Created by: Jabberwocky

Pronunciation: mix/mas/tur/plum/ur

Sentence: "Honey - this mixmasterplumber is working like a dream with the plug in the toilet and I'll be done in time for you to finish making the birthday cake."

Etymology: Mixmaster + master plumber

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COMMENTS:

Yikes! - kateinkorea, 2009-03-09: 18:34:00

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Toastercoaster

Created by: Stevenson0

Pronunciation: toe/ster/coe/ster

Sentence: The toastercoaster is a wonderful invention for making toast and keeping your hot chocolate warm.

Etymology: toaster + coaster

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Adapdeadly

Created by: galwaywegian

Pronunciation: ad ap ded lee

Sentence: Her array of adapdeadly tools included the cheesecuttercontraceptivewire, which took all risk of pregnancy and enjoyment out of the proceedings

Etymology: adapted, deadly

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Skimprovise

Created by: Mustang

Pronunciation: SKIM-pro-vyz

Sentence: Even at risk of life and limb in using tools and devices dangerously to save a few pennies, Maribel would often skimprovise, sometimes even endangering those around her.

Etymology: Blend of 'skimp' (To provide for or supply inadequately; be stingy with) and 'improvise' (to make, provide, or arrange from whatever materials are readily available)

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Pimplement

Created by: Nosila

Pronunciation: pimp le ment

Sentence: Janice had finally hit on the next great thing. She modified her belt sander to plane off the zits and blackheads on her T-Zone. She called it a pimplement. It seemed like a great idea at the time, but was never picked up by any of those companies who mass market new inventions. It seems their doctors and lawyers took exception to removing a layer of dermis in a painful manner with a rusty tool from the garage. Go figure!

Etymology: Pimple (zit;acne) & Implement (tool,instrument)

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