Verboticism: Fitnesschlock

'Help! Get this thing off of me! '

DEFINITION: v. To return to the gym in order to get back in shape, only to over-do-it and injure yourself. n. An injury which is the result of an overly ambitious exercise program.

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Fitnesschlock

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Realityache

Created by: pieceof314

Pronunciation: ree-al-ittee-ayk

Sentence: Realityache. Newsome knew it all too well. Who was he kidding? What did he think was going to happen when he finally decided to get off his butt and start working out? Moderation? Nah. With full tilt workouts from the start and after a life of increasing sedentary circumstances, Newsome knew what realityache meant with each excrutiating movement of muscle in his body.

Etymology: reality + ache

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Pwgymned

Created by: Ismelstar

Pronunciation: [pind] or [pwind]

Sentence: Determined to defeat his winter love handles, Mark finally returned to the gym only to be pwgymned by the chest press machine for five minutes, like a gnat under a toothpick, while he waited for a trainer to rescue him.

Etymology: A combination of 'gym', a building or room designed and equipped for indoor exercise, and 'pwned', a corruption of the word 'owned' denoting domination by an opponent or situation, especially by some god-like or computer-like force. The combination sounds like 'pinned', meaning to hold something fast in a spot or position.

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Inexertia

Created by: Nosila

Pronunciation: in ex zer sha

Sentence: Randy decided that five years away from his fitness club was too long. Inspired by infomercials and a waistline that kept thickening, he decided to re-enroll and get back the hard body he once proudly showed off at the beach. He carefully parked his car as close as possible to the gym - no sense risking a fall on icy pavement before he even started. When he arrived, a cute redhead was working out on an exercise bike. Without stretching or warming up, he mounted the bike beside her and peddled like the wind. After 10 minutes, he threw his leg up to dismount and pulled his groin muscle so hard that 3 attendants had to pull him off the machine and lay him on the floor, where he waited in agony until the ambulance arrived. What did this inexertia end up costing him altogether? $100 gym fee; $500 ambulance ride;$2,500 hospital fees;$500 for pain meds; $200 for having his car towed; $500 to reclaim it later at the impound yard; new shorts $50 (the old ones had to be cut off);and a date with the cute redhead who had visions of her potential suitor being unable to give her children: Priceless!

Etymology: inertia (the tendency of a body to maintain a state of rest or uniform motion unless acted upon by an external force;a disposition to remain inactive or inert) & exertion (use of physical or mental energy; hard work)

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COMMENTS:

Makes me hurt all over just reading it. lol GOOD word!! - Mustang, 2008-05-06: 04:48:00

Oh, that's just perfect. - ErWenn, 2008-05-06: 11:24:00

Muscles come and go; flab lasts. - OZZIEBOB, 2008-05-06: 17:46:00

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Gymaimium

Created by: stache

Pronunciation: jĭm-mām'ē-əm

Sentence: He figued it was just a HALF-marathon, surely it would be no big deal. After all, before he'd laid off running-what was it, three and a nalf years now?-he'd had quite a few fun runs and even that one ten-K under his belt. Predictably, however, the event resulted in extensive gymaimium, from severe shin splints to bleeding, chafed nipples.

Etymology: Gym, var. of Jim, after workout guru Jum Belushi; maimi, var. of Mamie, after famous Jack LaLane mistress, Mamie Eisenhower; um, speech filler related to 'uh.'

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COMMENTS:

Galway's workouch goes well with your gymaimium. - Jabberwocky, 2008-05-06: 12:32:00

good word. - OZZIEBOB, 2008-05-06: 17:44:00

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Ouchpotato

Created by: galwaywegian

Pronunciation: ow ch pat ay toe

Sentence: with his leg in a cast and his head in a sling, the ouchpotato weht back to being a couchpotato

Etymology: couchpotato, ouch

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Weaktard

Created by: abrakadeborah

Pronunciation: week-tard

Sentence: Wes is such a weaktard when it comes to working out...he always lifts more than he can handle.

Etymology: Weak- Not strong. Tard- part of the slang word re'tard'- Acting stupid.

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Musculartorture

Created by: bookowl

Pronunciation: mus/cah/la/tore/chur

Sentence: Musculatorture occurs when the muscles are strained beyond endurance which often happens trying to open the heavy gym doors.

Etymology: musculature + torture

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Overdude

artr

Created by: artr

Pronunciation: ōvərdoōd

Sentence: It doesn’t take much to get Mickey to overdude his weightlifting routine. Just someone looking his way can cause him to stack on extra weight. The resulting strains and pulls will keep him out of the gym for weeks.

Etymology: overdo (carry to excess; exaggerate) + dude (guy/fool)

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Hypergymnast

Created by: rebelvin

Pronunciation: hyper-gym-nast

Sentence: You could tell he was heading for hypergymnasty, by the way he overdid it the very first day.

Etymology: hyper-gym-nast

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Fitnesschlump

Created by: Mustang

Pronunciation: FIT-ness-schlump

Sentence: Randall returned to the gym with great zeal after a several month layoff from his workout routine but he had become such a fitnesschlump that he managed to pull several muscles and wrench his back after an over ambitious workout.

Etymology: blend of 'fitness' and 'schlump' (a slovenly person; slob)

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COMMENTS:

Schlumperb word - Nosila, 2009-06-18: 20:56:00

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