Verboticism: Whinexpert

'These Post-it Notes don't post!'

DEFINITION: v., To share your feelings with a customer service representative by using a perceived product deficiency to express your own sense of inadequacy and/or deep seated rage against the world. n., An irritating or annoying customer.

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Losererror

Created by: Nuwanda

Pronunciation: lou-zer-air-er

Sentence: It never occurred to Melody that her computer problems might not actually be the fault of the poor guy at tech support who she berated daily. He tried, as politely as he could, to help her understand that her inability to turn on her computer was a losererror and not a hardware malfunction. Only after she accidentally stepped on the powerstrip and turned it back on did she stop calling the hapless support team.

Etymology: user error transformed into loser error.

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Customonster

artr

Created by: artr

Pronunciation: kəstəmänstər

Sentence: Oh no, here he comes Jody said to herself. Her customonster liked to come in at least once a week to make himself feel powerful by chewing on her for a while. He would go out of his way to find an item with some sort of scratch or blemish. Then he would demand a discount. She finally turned the tables on him when she caught him scratching a piece of her merchandise. She scolded him like he was a naughty puppy. She never saw him again.

Etymology: customer (a person or organization that buys goods or services from a store or business) + monster (an imaginary creature that is typically large, ugly, and frightening)

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Paintron

Created by: Nosila

Pronunciation: payn tron

Sentence: Most customers are nice. They are happy you help them, grateful when you go out of your way to serve them. They are true patrons, they pay your wages. Then there is the paintron, he makes you earn your wages and then some. Although he is only one in a hundred, he makes noise and aggravation enough for the other ninety-nine. You may not remember all the nice ones, but you can never forget the bad ones. Thank goodness they are in the minority!

Etymology: Pain (emotional distress; a fundamental feeling that people try to avoid;a bothersome annoying person)& Patron (client, customer)

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Tirate

Created by: yellowbird

Pronunciation: ty-rate

Sentence: Judy waited for the red-faced woman to wind up her tirate before holding up the little white score card on which she had written 8.5. For some reason, this seemed to make the customer even angrier.

Etymology: tirade + rate(as in product rating)

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Transfereturnence

mrskellyscl

Created by: mrskellyscl

Pronunciation: trans-fer-re-turn-ence

Sentence: A good CSR knows when an irate customer is making a transfereturnence. When a man complains about a kitchen gadget it means that he had a fight with his wife. When an irate woman argues with him about a sweater it's often because her mother made a nasty comment about it. But when someone returns Postits because they're the wrong color it often reveals some serious potty training issues.

Etymology: transference:in psychoanalysis - the process whereby emotions such as rage or hatred are unconsciously shifted from one person or object to another + return: to bring back to the original place of purchase; coming back to a place or situation

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Consuminad

Created by: missyfrose

Pronunciation: con-soo-min-ad

Sentence: That consuminad has some serious self-esteem issues. Don't consuminate to me, I'm not your therapist!

Etymology: consumer, inadequate

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Tyranuservicevex

Created by: OZZIEBOB

Pronunciation: TYE-ran-UH-suhr-VIS-veks

Sentence: Bob, at first, an irebuyer, quickly became an tyranuservicevex, scowling at the brow, when his local cheesemaker decided to decrease the size of the holes in the emmentaler.

Etymology: Blend of TYRANUS; SERVICE & VEX. Loosely based on Tyranusaurus Rex. This creature is probably the most famous and most fearsome predator of all times (Cretaceous, 85-65 million years ago), its name meaning 'terrible king lizard'. VEX: To make angry or annoyed by little provocations; to irritate; to plague; to torment; to harass; to afflict; to trouble;

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COMMENTS:

wonderfully wacky - love it - Jabberwocky, 2008-11-13: 14:47:00

Very clever! - Mustang, 2008-11-13: 22:36:00

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Shopabrawlic

Created by: rombus

Pronunciation: shop - a - brawl - ick

Sentence: John had a really nasty problem that he couldn't seem to control. He often got into intense arguments with shop clerks and check-out personnel in stores over everything from the prices of goods to their functionality. His shopabrawlic behavior was out of control and he couldn't seem to help himself. He felt so much better after an argument that he often bought things just for the thrill of the argument.

Etymology: The word shop (which means to purchase or look for) is combined with brawl (to quarrel angrily or disruptively). This is also kind of smashed in with alcoholic to denote an addiction to the behavior.

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COMMENTS:

very nice - Jabberwocky, 2008-11-13: 14:47:00

Spot on. - OZZIEBOB, 2008-11-13: 16:48:00

And the Shopabrawlics all come out at the full moon...oh, that's today! Good Word, timely. - Nosila, 2008-11-13: 20:48:00

Great! - TJayzz, 2008-11-14: 04:23:00

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Whinestein

Created by: Nosila

Pronunciation: whyne styne

Sentence: Mrs. Gorgonzola was a real Whinestein. You know the type of customer we mean...one who complained about everything, was a retail snob and showed off her ignorance at the same time. Every week she entered the Gourmet Cheese Shoppe in the Mall called Cheese Louise. And every week she berated the owner, Louise, with her usual rants: "These Emmenthalers were no Gouda...I could barely Edam!"; "It's a Feta Accompli that this Roquefort will be Stilton my Children's Gruyereth!"; "Why is this Fontina the Mozza expensive cheese in the Store?"; "I simply Camembert to try the Chevre...it makes me Cheddar to think what's in it!" "Must they alwheys make Swiss Cheese with holes in it...what poor workmanship!";"My daughter, Velveeta, Brie-ds American Cheese Dogs and is Whey beyond her years!" and "Why does it always smell like milk gone bad in this Shoppe...couldn't you come up with a grater scent?" Louise would smile and nod and take her money, thinking to herself, I hate her, but I'm Fondue, my little greenbacks. Yes, Louise thought it appropriate to have a little Whine with her Cheese!

Etymology: Whine (to moan and complain in a plaintive manner) & Stein (a mug) & Einstein (a genius,someone who has exceptional intellectual ability and originality)

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COMMENTS:

You're examples are the best...a little cheesy, perhaps, but I've found none butter! - Nuwanda, 2008-11-13: 11:54:00

I meant your, not you're. - Nuwanda, 2008-11-13: 11:54:00

What a grate story. Lets Rock n Rocqefort!! - rombus, 2008-11-13: 12:53:00

Very clever - OZZIEBOB, 2008-11-13: 16:49:00

Nothing like a fromage a trois! Cheers! - Nosila, 2008-11-14: 23:54:00

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Custobluster

artr

Created by: artr

Pronunciation: kəstəbləstər

Sentence: The store wasn’t even open yet but there he was, Mr. Bellow. At least that’s what Carlos and his coworkers call him. He is full of custobluster, all too ready to scream and yell about whatever minor issue he could find. He doesn’t really worry Carlos that much. He can easily be distracted by the introduction of the newest ”shiny thing”.

Etymology: customer (a person or organization that buys goods or services from a store or business) + bluster (talk in a loud, aggressive, or indignant way with little effect)

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