Verboticism: Caustomer

'These Post-it Notes don't post!'

DEFINITION: v., To share your feelings with a customer service representative by using a perceived product deficiency to express your own sense of inadequacy and/or deep seated rage against the world. n., An irritating or annoying customer.

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Cursetommer

Created by: silveryaspen

Pronunciation: kurs tom mer

Sentence: He returned the swearword dictionary with plenty of loud cursetommer. "What a cursetommer!" said the courtesy counter lady, "Why he probably wrote that book!"

Etymology: Interplay of curse and customer. Curse having the double meaning of (1)swearing (using bad negative words) or (2) casting a spell, usually an evil one. Customer meaning one who purchases goods or services.

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Storemonger

Created by: mweinmann

Pronunciation: stor - mon - grrr

Sentence: Nathan was full of hostility and he took it out on everyone, especially service people. One of his favorite pastimes was venting his unhappiness and frustrations on unsuspecting customer service representatives. It was a fertile field filled with an endless supply of targets and he stealthily stalked his prey, victimizing unsuspecting clerks who were only trying to help him. On a good weekend, he might hit 35 stores, leaving a wide swath of storemonger victims. It was a verbal carnage!

Etymology: Store (A place where merchandise is offered for sale; a shop). + Monger (A person promoting something undesirable or discreditable. Often used in combination: a scandalmonger; a warmonger).

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COMMENTS:

Love the monger combination -esp. the obscure ones such as : Lovemonger, fashionmonger, pardonmonger, statemonger, insect-monger, miracle-monger, massmonger, boroughmonger, wordmonger, questmonger, phrasemonger, jobmonger, loanmonger, conspiracy-monger, legacy-monger, dietmonger, technomonger, scammonger etc,. - OZZIEBOB, 2008-11-13: 16:23:00

So a Viagra pitchman is a longermonger?? - Nosila, 2008-11-13: 20:38:00

Just saw the word "joymonger" on the UK cable channel. Perhaps, a viagra pitchman is a longerjoymonger ?? - OZZIEBOB, 2008-11-14: 06:45:00

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Fusstomer

Created by: Dougalistic

Pronunciation: Fuss-to-merr

Sentence: He came over to me giving it all that' saying how he was going to nail my head to the floor, just because I couldn't give him a refund on those damm Haribo's. He was a complete fusstomer.

Etymology: Fuss - To make a nuisance or commotion (general annoying git) and Customer.

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COMMENTS:

Nice word! - OZZIEBOB, 2008-01-16: 16:24:00

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Whinebuyer

Created by: Nosila

Pronunciation: whyne by er

Sentence: Corky McPlonk was a regular complainer to the winery. He usually had a burgundy beef, a grape gripe, a grappa grumble, a cabernet carp, a retsina regret or a white whine whimper. He was a whinebuyer they just hated to hear from...they didn't know if he drank too much or too little of their products. From Rhone moans, to Liebfraumilch laments, to Rosé rants to Muscatel mutters, he was never happy. One day he phoned and had a cork kvetch. "Your merlot is hard to open...how can I enjoy it if I can't decant it?" he bellowed. The service associate told him that the bottle would open easier if he simply unscrewed the metal cap. Shiraz shooting, it worked!

Etymology: Whine (complain;a complaint uttered in a plaintive whining way) & Buyer (Customer, patron;purchaser)

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Counterattacker

Created by: TJayzz

Pronunciation: Cown-ter-at-aker

Sentence: Jerry was used to dealing with awkward customers, but when it came to Mr Pennyworth, the serial counterattacker, he was at a complete loss. Jerry dreaded the moment when he walked through the doors of his hardware shop. He never actually bought anything but he would continually come to the counter with various items and proceed to tell anyone who would listen that the products were inferior. He then ranted on that things were made to a much higher standard in his day and were made to last. Jerry was just grateful that Mr Pennyworth was well known for his rants all over town, and his other customers never took him seriously.

Etymology: Counter(a long flat-topped fitment over which goods are sold to customers) + Attacker(someone who takes agressive action) = Counterattacker

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COMMENTS:

Talk about a need for Counterintelligence! Good Word - Nosila, 2008-11-13: 20:43:00

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Plaguetron

thegoatisbad

Created by: thegoatisbad

Pronunciation: puh-lay-ge-tron

Sentence: While Zinnia was on vacation, urgent calls were redirected to Kimberly's desk, and Kimberly hated this. Among Zinnia's tasks, she was responsible for dealing with unsatisfied customers, when these unpleased patrons were forwarded to Kimberly, all hell broke loose. "I can only call them plaguetrons" She said, "I had no idea people could be so upset about a sweater. How is it our fault that her daughter can't ever ride a horse?"

Etymology: Plague (scary things that happened in the bible and the 13th century) + Patron (a customer)

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Creepsumer

Created by: Stevenson0

Pronunciation: creep/zoom/er

Sentence: The worst job at Sears is the product return desk which attracts one creepsumer after another.

Etymology: CREEPSUMER noun - from CREEP (an annoyingly unpleasant, or repulsive person) + CONSUMER (one that acquires goods, or services for direct use )

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COMMENTS:

Good word. - OZZIEBOB, 2008-11-13: 16:51:00

Excellent - Mustang, 2008-11-13: 22:36:00

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Foolabluster

Created by: Redrover

Pronunciation: fool-uh-bluster

Sentence: Mark's earbuds are so small that his customers aren't even aware that he can't hear a single word of their foolablustering.

Etymology: fool= a silly or stupid person; a person who lacks judgment or sense bluster = noisy, empty threats or protests

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Buyerliar

Created by: Nosila

Pronunciation: byer lyer

Sentence: Randy could always tell when the full moon approached...all the buyerliars in town came into his store to vent their spleens.

Etymology: Buyer & Liar

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Whinexpert

Created by: Nosila

Pronunciation: whyn ex pert

Sentence: John came into the venders every week, bought 2 bottles of the chaepest plonk he could find and then complained about them next week. He was quite the whinexpert and grew so annoying, the finally barred him from the shop.

Etymology: Whine (complain in annoying manner) & Wordplay on Wine Expert (oenophile;connoisseur)

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