Verboticism: Cusdumber

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Cusdumber

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Customyeranidiot

artr

Created by: artr

Pronunciation: kəstəmyoŏranidēət

Sentence: Spring has come to the Mall. There is a sense of renewal as the new product lines are displayed. Gone are the Winter doldrums of the Christmas left-over sales and inventory sales. Maybe, just maybe the next customer who comes through the door will be engaging, funny, insightful, interesting... but alas each entrant into the customer-of-the-year competition seems to find a way to transmogrify from patron to customyeranidiot with insipid questions like, "Do you work here?" "Are these (the display with the strobing 50% off sign) the sale items?" or "This item that I just dropped on the floor has a chip. Can I get a mark-down on it?" The clerk soon retreats to thoughts of after-work diversions and mentally seeks a "happy place" instead of the "uzi on the rooftop" place. Retail is swell!

Etymology: customer (a person or organization that buys goods or services from a store or business) + "You're an idiot" (self- explanatory)

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Klutztomer

Created by: galwaywegian

Pronunciation: klutz tum urrrr

Sentence: trying to keep this particular klutztomer satisfied was like trying to herd cats

Etymology: customer klutz

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Duhblivious

Created by: Mustang

Pronunciation: duh-BLIV-yuss

Sentence: Vernon was so bad about overlooking the obvious and asking lame questions his friends had labeled his lame practice as duhblivious and even that was something that got by him.

Etymology: Blend of 'duh' (used to express annoyance at banality, obviousness, or stupidity) and 'oblivious' (unmindful; unconscious; unaware)

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Klutztomer

Created by: galwaywegian

Pronunciation: kluhtz tom errrrrr

Sentence: If another klutztomer asked him if he was the manager despite his large laminated photo I.D, has $500 dollar suit, his genuine crocodile shoes and his hide briefcase, he would cut out their liver and bring it home to mother for dinner.

Etymology: customer, klutz

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COMMENTS:

LOL Mine is a MORON and yours is a KLUTZ! Everybody is being hilarious on this word :) - abrakadeborah, 2009-03-27: 05:17:00

muchly enjoyed the humor in your sentence and your word - funtastic! - silveryaspen, 2009-03-28: 15:35:00

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Cusdumber

Created by: Nosila

Pronunciation: kus dum mer

Sentence: If you have ever worked in retail or other service jobs, you know who they are. Sure, not the nice 95% of Customers who actually pay your wage, happily, but the 5% who are the Cusdumber...the ones that usually don't end up spending, just making your life harder. They cannot read signs (like "Final Sale, No refunds"; "One per Customer" or "Do not Open Packages"). They ask foolish questions, "This is the only one in my size, will it still be here next week?" or "Do these emeralds come in any other colour but green?" or "It's 9:00 pm, does that bell ringing mean you are closing? But I just got here!" Sometimes they are rude and say hurtful things like,"Don't you know how to operate a till?" or "When I ask for a sparkly rainbow thingy with bright lights on it, you should know what I mean...did you flunk your training class?" After one of these frustrating encounters, I console myself with the fact that I am not that person and try to not be a cusdumber myself when it is my turn to be a consumer!

Etymology: Customer (someone who pays for goods or services)& Cuss (swear at)& Dumber (slow to learn or understand; lacking intellectual acuity)

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COMMENTS:

Awesome job! - kateinkorea, 2009-03-27: 04:16:00

"Do these emeralds come in any other colour but green?" LOL!!!! - abrakadeborah, 2009-03-27: 05:19:00

great word!! - mweinmann, 2009-03-27: 14:45:00

Did she wish the cusdumber went right on buyher? Super marketing word! - silveryaspen, 2009-03-28: 15:07:00

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Staffinvection

Created by: Nosila

Pronunciation: staff in vek shun

Sentence: When George the patient asked the man in the hospital with the white scrubs; the stethoscope, mask and chart whether he worked there as he took George's vitals, he got himself a case of staffinvection.

Etymology: Staff (employee) & Invection (. An expression which inveighs or rails against a person) & Wordplay on Staph Infection (A spherical gram-positive parasitic bacterium of the genus Staphylococcus, usually occurring in grapelike clusters and causing boils, septicemia, and other infections).

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Assking

Created by: silveryaspen

Pronunciation: ass king

Sentence: On his shoulder, the huge brassy button said in big letters: assistant manager. Therefore, everyone was asstounded and asstonished to hear Stu Pid, assking, "Do you work here?"

Etymology: ASS, KING, ASKING. Asking redumbdant (redundant) questions makes one an assking. ASS - offensive term that deliberately insults somebody's intelligence. KING - the greatest and most powerful leader of a people who are united by a common tie, in this case, by their level of intelligence. ASKING - to question.

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COMMENTS:

Very funny! And very good! - kateinkorea, 2009-03-27: 04:18:00

Well there's an Ass----,Klutz---- and a Moron---- for today...we're all in the same mood :) Good one there! - abrakadeborah, 2009-03-27: 05:36:00

terrific - Jabberwocky, 2009-03-27: 12:24:00

I know Stu....worked with him....tried to avoid him...couldnt. - Mustang, 2009-03-28: 03:32:00

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Cusdumber

artr

Created by: artr

Pronunciation: kuhs-duh-mer

Sentence: If there is anything that a store clerk hates, it has to be the cusdumber who can't seem to do anything without asking a stupid question or making an ignorant statement. "Do you work here?" "This item is scratched (they just scratched it). Can I get a discount?" The only hope is if they get just a little dumber, they might forget to breath or how to get to to the store.

Etymology: customer (a person who purchases goods or services from another) + dumb (lacking intelligence or good judgment; stupid; dull-witted)

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Querylyevident

Created by: Jabberwocky

Pronunciation: kweer/lee/ev/i/dent

Sentence: Even though Sam stood at the crosswalk in his bright orange vest with the yellow reflective stripe which said Crossing Guard, holding a giant stop sign, pedestrians would still pose the querlyevident question "Are you the Crossing Guard"? Sometimes it made him feel like running amok in traffic.

Etymology: query + evident + 'clearly evident'

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COMMENTS:

LOL! made him feel like running amok in traffic. GOOD ONE! - abrakadeborah, 2009-03-27: 22:49:00

Funny! - kateinkorea, 2009-03-28: 00:00:00

play on the oft said 'fairly evident', too. Excellent word! - silveryaspen, 2009-03-28: 15:00:00

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Retaildundunce

Created by: Nosila

Pronunciation: re tayl dun duns

Sentence: Chad was what we call a retaildundunce. He'd come into the store, approach a clerk who was obviously wearing a uniform, complete with name tag and ask them if they worked here? He did this in every department he went into and yet he never bought anything or asked about our merchandise. It turned out that Chad was a "Mystery Shopper" who was hired by an agency to check on our customer service levels. How did we find out what he did? When our security department apprehended him, under his jacket he wore a uniform complete with name tag that said, "Chad, Mystery Shopper!" DUH!

Etymology: Retail (the selling of goods to consumers; usually in small quantities and not for resale) & Redundant (repetition of same sense in different words; use of more words than required to express an idea) & Dunce (these words are used to express a low opinion of someone's intelligence)

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