Verboticism: Hackcident

'Omigod! What happened to you?'

DEFINITION: v. To injure yourself while performing a normal everyday activity, such bending down, standing up, or turning your head quickly. n. An self-inflicted injury which occurred during a period of physical inactivity.

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Somnolendemic

Created by: bookowl

Pronunciation: som/no/lem/demic

Sentence: A somnolemdemic experiences injuries caused by twisted sheets and bed bugs.

Etymology: somnolent (asleep) + endemic

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Painormicalasistic

Created by: balku4

Pronunciation: pai-nohr-mee-ca-le-si-stic

Sentence: i got Painormicalasistic yesterday by jumping up and down.

Etymology: none

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Scoffle

Created by: bdraffen0002

Pronunciation: /ˈskôfəl/

Sentence: I pulled my back when I got in a scoffle with my phone, I was trying to plug it in under the counter without it turning on.

Etymology: Scoff: late 18th century (as a verb): originally a variant of Scots and dialect scaff . The noun is from Afrikaans schoff, representing Dutch schoft ‘quarter of a day,’ (by extension) ‘meal.’ and Scuffle late 16th century (as a verb): probably of Scandinavian origin; compare with Swedish skuffa ‘to push’; related to shove and shuffle.

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Injurtia

Created by: Jabberwocky

Pronunciation: in/jur/sheea

Sentence: Mark suffered from chronic injurtia. He often injured himself surfing the internet or changing stations on the remote.

Etymology: injure + inertia

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Youtilate

Created by: Nosila

Pronunciation: u til layt

Sentence: In his Victim's Statement, Mervin could only lay blame on himself for the disfiguring stapler incident. He did indeed unwittingly youtilate himself by pointing the offending sharp electric stapler towards his groin area before firing at will. Sure he couldn't have kids now, but at least he was able to keep his legs together. His fastenating career at Staples was now secure!

Etymology: You (as in yourself, no one else;second person singular) & Mutilate (destroy or injure severely;alter so as to make unrecognizable)

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COMMENTS:

Clever! - Mustang, 2009-06-02: 00:00:00

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Ouchpotato

Created by: galwaywegian

Pronunciation: owch poe tay toe

Sentence: the unfortunate juxtaposition of the remote control between cushions and the couchpotatos descending butt transformed him to an ouchpotato.

Etymology: couch potato, ouch

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Ouchpotato

Created by: Nosila

Pronunciation: owch pot ay to

Sentence: Dudley Dolittle was admitted to the ER with life-threatening (in his mind)injuries. He was innocently lying on the couch, watching Law & Order Special Victims Unit at 3:00 pm, just before The Office came on in double episode at 4:00 pm. When all of a sudden the remote fell on the floor. He reached over to grab it and fell off the couch, hitting his head and temporarily knocking himself out. When he regained conciousness, he got up off the floor to go look in the mirror at any possible bruises. Unfortunately, the cat had knocked over a vase filled with flowers and water and he slipped on the hardwood floor. When the ambulance came, Dudley was in major pain. Turns out he'd wrenched his back, broke his ankle and wrist. He'd turned from a Couchpotato into an Ouchpotato. Later, when asked what caused his injury, he was able to truthfully tell people that while on an undercover assignment, he was attacked when a wild cat hit him in his sweet peas, on his way to The Office. Sadly, he was believed...

Etymology: Ouch (hurt;wound;exclamation used to express pain) & Couch Potato (an idler who spends much time on a couch (usually watching television)

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Incapassitate

Created by: Jamagra

Pronunciation: in/ka/pass'/i/tate

Sentence: Brian told eveyone he had broken his leg by diving in front of a speeding car to save a small child. He was too embarrassed to admit he had incapassitated himself by tripping over a speed bump in the parking lot.

Etymology: incapacitate + ass

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COMMENTS:

funny - Jabberwocky, 2008-04-15: 10:50:00

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Coughractured

artr

Created by: artr

Pronunciation: kôfrakchərd

Sentence: Jimmy doesn’t really want to talk about his latest injury. Apparently he is embarrassed that he coughractured his finger while picking his nose.

Etymology: cough (expel air from the lungs with a sudden sharp sound) + fratcured (the cracking or breaking of a hard object or material)

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Inadvertadent

Created by: arrrteest

Pronunciation: in-ad-vert-eh-dent

Sentence: You would think Roger would have been better served if he had stayed in bed this morning. Or perhaps that wouldn't have mattered either. That is because Roger was a schlemiel. It seemed as if every normal everyday thing he did, he got injured. He was so clumsy that the he didn't have to show his insurance card at the local hospital. In fact, the emergency room looked more like the bar at Cheers whenever he was rolled in for some inadvertadent, real or imagined. They couldn't wait to hear what mundane activity happened this time. Would it be his toothbrush needing to be removed from deep within his nasal cavity, like the last time he came? There was a running bet within the facility.

Etymology: inadvertent, not attentive; heedless + accident, something that happens by chance, mishap

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COMMENTS:

Haven't we all known guys like Roger...good story. - Nosila, 2008-04-15: 20:44:00

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