Verboticism: Heinzed
DEFINITION: v., To carefully place a lid on a bottle, especially a salad dressing bottle, so that it appears closed and will not spill unless the bottle is moved or shaken. n., A bottle which has been prepared in such a manner.
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Paratorque
Created by: milorush
Pronunciation: (tr. v.) pěr'-rə-tôrk (n.) pěr'-rə-tôrk'-ər
Sentence: "Don't paratorque the ketchup before you put it in the fridge," shouted Mom. "Next time you do it you'll have to clean the entire kitchen!"
Etymology: Para- (false) + torque (to twist)
Saladmessing
Created by: mrskellyscl
Pronunciation: sal-ad-mes-sing
Sentence: Jim, a perpetual five year old, played one too many practical jokes on his wife when he fixed the lid on the salad dressing, what he called saladmessing, so that it would completely ruin her new sweater. She packed her bags, and handed him a letter from her lawyer. "How's that for closure," she asked before slamming the door.
Etymology: wordplay on salad dressing -- salad + messing: to mess around with or make a mess
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COMMENTS:
nice - galwaywegian, 2010-02-18: 07:12:00
like it...don't mess with the dressing! - Nosila, 2010-02-18: 17:22:00
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Tophersplat
Created by: abrakadeborah
Pronunciation: Top-her-splat
Sentence: Paulie Prankster always set his wife up with a tophersplat every time she used Verbotomy Salad Dressing.
Etymology: Top- a lid of a container. Her- Female. Splat- a wet slapping sound.
Revinaigrette
Created by: Nosila
Pronunciation: re vin ay gret
Sentence: Lettuce examine the facts. After George's cruel trick on Helen, he was filled with revinaigrette, cos he loosened the lid on the salad dressing. Not only that, he failed to romaine at the scene of the grime. She vowed that he would never get to see her dressing again unless he bought her a one carrot diamond ring (which would cost him his celery)...or else he'd end up in the Mayo clinic. Endive story.
Etymology: Regret (feel remorse for; feel sorry for; be contrite about) & Vinaigrette (oil and vinegar with mustard and garlic;salad dressing)
Bleusneeze
Created by: artr
Pronunciation: bloōsnēz
Sentence: Bill thought he’d play his famous bleusneeze prank on his new girlfriend, leaving the cap loosened on the bottle of salad dressing so that she would spray it all over herself when she shook it. The joke was just as funny (or funnier) when she reached for the bottle, tipped it over and spilled the contents in Bill’s lap. Unsure if she did it on purpose or not, he quietly screwed the lids back on the salt and pepper shakers.
Etymology: bleu cheese (cheese containing veins of blue mold, such as Gorgonzola and Danish Blue) + sneeze (make a sudden involuntary expulsion of air from the nose and mouth due to irritation of one’s nostrils)
Acciwaitohappen
Created by: hiladizzle
Pronunciation: axi-wait-oo-happen
Sentence: The way that bottle is sitting is an acciwaitohappen.
Etymology: Derived from the phrase "accident waiting to happen".
Creamyitalianbush
Created by: crmow
Pronunciation: kree-me-it-al-yun-bush
Sentence: George creamyitalianbushed Julie, so she had to send her blouse to the drycleaners.
Etymology: Creamy Italian + ambush
Haspewedu
Created by: kimbo123
Pronunciation: Ha-spewed you
Sentence: She fell again for the Haspewedu bottle.
Etymology:
Vinairegrette
Created by: Nosila
Pronunciation: vin eh ree gret
Sentence: Lettuce reinact the crime. Rosie Roquefort had gone to the fridge cos she wanted to romaine slim by eating a healthy salad. She combined the vegetable ingredients and tossed them into the salad bowl. She retraced her steps back to the fridge to get a bottle of salad dressing. From the array in the door, she pondered whether to pick Paul Newman or something more Krafty as her choy-ce, checking for expiry dates. She picked a bottle of vinaigrette and took it over to shake and pour over her salad. Only she had picked a bottle of vinairegrette instead... because when she tried to shake it, the entire contents of the full bottle sprayed all over her, her kitchen and everything in it. The Usual Suspect, her husband, Basil Roguefort came to mind. Her suspicions were confirmed when she spotted him rolling on the dining room floor with laughter and the video camera in his hand. The beet cobbs would turnip later when she caught Basil and tried to artichoke him. The CSI(Criminal Salad Investigators) measured the spatter patterns and chard the trajectories. Basil was collard when his fingerprints were found all over the bottle and lid of the dressing. He was charged with bottle-ism, a rare form of vandalism involving bottles. Rosie was charged with attempted manslawter. When the case came to court, Rosie beet the wrap because the vegetarian judge thought she got a raw deal. The judge tossed out the salad case, as there was mushroom for doubt. Rosie was later featured on the Okra Winfrey show and has now optioned her life story in a book called "Salad Days"...she will never have to earn a celery again. Basil romaines in custody where he has found Judaism and plans to become a kohlrabi.
Etymology: Vinaigrette (a salad dressing with oil and vinegar as well as mustard and garlic) & Regret (sadness associated with some wrong done or some disappointment)
