Verboticism: Funishment
DEFINITION: n. A punishment which does not fit crime. v. To assign a punishment which is bizarrely inappropriate, and seems totally unrelated to the crime which has been committed.
Voted For: Funishment
Successfully added your vote for "Funishment".
You still have one vote left...
Missedemeanour
Created by: Nosila
Pronunciation: mist de meen er
Sentence: Judge M. Paired often assigned bizarre sentences that were not suited to the crime or precedent. In fact his missedemeanour way of paying back criminals allowed the worst to escape justice and the most innocent to face the music. Sadly, many of his peers do the same every day...
Etymology: Missed (got wrong; not caught with the senses or the mind) & Misdemeanour (a crime less serious than a felony)
Convictimization
Created by: Nosila
Pronunciation: kon vik tim ize ashun
Sentence: It was pre-ordained. His name was Rob and by gosh, that is what he did for a living. He also wrote very bad checks. When he was caught and sentenced to 25 years in the pokey, he thought he had fallen prey to convictimization. He was incarcerated at Sing Sing, where contrary to the name, they did not sing, often or well. Warden Gordon Borden thought it would be ironic if Rob wrote the new Prison Newsletter, since he was so good at writing (bad checks). Rob called this literary marvel, "Sentences" and worked hard at it to make it informative and entertaining. He carried regular features, such as a column on advice to the lovelorn..."In-Mates" with such pertinent features as "Are you suffering from Penal Dysfunction?";The Daily Horrorscope ("Your life has settled into predictable routine but just wait, the new screw in Cell Block 4 has his eye on you. Prepare for excitement."); a singles column "Cell-ABC" and recipes from the prison kitchen, "The Garden of Pleadin'" ...for Chili CON carney...take 500 pounds of ground meat, throw in 18 cups of saltpeter,...etc. He also added news items that affected his readership: "Care and feeding of your pet Cockroach"; and he used the digital camera to get candid snaps of daily life column, "I've been framed". Rob became a publishing ty-con and made the most of his pun-nishment!
Etymology: Convict (a person serving a sentence in a jail or prison; a person who has been convicted of a criminal offence; find or declare guilty) & Victimization (adversity resulting from being made a victim; an act that exploits or victimizes someone (treats them unfairly))
----------------------------
COMMENTS:
written with conviction!! - galwaywegian, 2009-03-06: 05:56:00
Top Notch Job creating this 'con' job and 'con' verbotomy! - silveryaspen, 2009-03-06: 19:15:00
So funny!!! - kateinkorea, 2009-03-08: 10:30:00
----------------------------
Castivacation
Created by: Stevenson0
Pronunciation: cast/i/va/ca/tion
Sentence: While driving totally blind drunk, Joe hit and killed a senior citizen when he ran a red light. The judge's sentence was, to say the least, a castivacation: four consecutive weekends under house arrest in his own home.
Etymology: CASTIVACATION - noun - from CASTIGATION (to punish in order to correct) + VACATION (a period of suspension of work, study, or other activity, usually used for rest, recreation, or travel; recess, or holiday)
Punishmint
Created by: artr
Pronunciation: pənishmint
Sentence: Edward, the financier had bilked millions from people who had invested in his too-good-to-be-true scheme. The plaintiffs wanted blood. The judge gave him punishmint. Knowing that the defendant loathed the taste of mint — peppermint, spearmint, coolmint, any mint — that was all the candy he was to be allowed for the next 2 years. None of his beloved toffees. Not a single truffle. How he was going to get through it Edward wasn't quite sure. His only consolation was the punishmint he was set to make on his book deal.
Etymology: punishment (the infliction or imposition of a penalty as retribution for an offense) + mint (a peppermint candy)(a vast sum of money)
----------------------------
COMMENTS:
OMG no mint? How cruel! - wayoffcenter, 2009-03-06: 05:57:00
Amazing that you took such a harsh word and turned into the sweet treat our justice system is handing out! Very Clever! - silveryaspen, 2009-03-06: 19:21:00
----------------------------
Payadox
Created by: silveryaspen
Pronunciation: pay a dox
Sentence: Today's legal system is broken, for the punishments do not fit white-collar crimes. Madoff runs a Ponzi scheme and instead of being in jail, he is in his million dollar penthouse. Even more absurd, he is not made to pay any restitution, he gets to keep the billions he stole! Ditto, for the criminal mismanagement of bank assets by bank management. In their case, it gets even more perverse, for they are given bail-em-out -billions, and are free to do it again! There are politicians who do not pay their taxes. Instead of jail time, the president perversely appoints them to high political office with good pay and big benefits. The payadox of today is white-collar crime does pay, and pays big!
Etymology: It is a paradox when the punishment doesn't fit the white-collar crime ... and when that white collar crime pays off big-time, it is a payadox! (In the fictionary {fiction-dictionary} a dox is the new human animal: a white-collar fox in sheep's clothing seeking out hi$ prey.)
----------------------------
COMMENTS:
so true and so sad - Jabberwocky, 2009-03-06: 09:40:00
Good story...just sorry it is fact not fiction! - Nosila, 2009-03-06: 19:04:00
----------------------------
Fauxtence
Created by: abrakadeborah
Pronunciation: foe-tense
Sentence: Mr. Ponzi Fakkier, your fauxtence requires that you have a staff of thirty people to make sure you abide by the rules of the court, to maintain a lifestyle of luxury...via our tax payers.
Etymology: Faux - Not genuine or real; being an imitation of the genuine article. Tense; taken in part from the word Sentence - Court judgment, especially a judicial decision of the punishment to be inflicted on one adjudged guilty.
Aproposterous
Created by: Filthy
Pronunciation:
Sentence:
Etymology: Aproposterous is a combination of the words apropos and preposterous. The term has largely replaced it's cousin, moronic justice, since it better captures both the disproportional and inappropriate natures of a crime's consequence.
Felonelevate
Created by: Mustang
Pronunciation: fel-ehn-ELL-eh-vayt
Sentence: The jury was certain the judge had come completely unhinged when he decided to felonelevate the punishment of Elmer and sentenced him to a year in jail for littering.
Etymology: Blend of felon and elevate.
Punytivedamages
Created by: Jabberwocky
Pronunciation: pewnee/tiv/dam/aj/es
Sentence: Punytivedamages amounting to a cutback of .025% of the Bank President's bonus for the year seemed unfair to the dispossessed living under the bridge who had been sold useless investments by his bank.
Etymology: puny (feeble, undersized) + punitve damages
----------------------------
COMMENTS:
It makes you lose interest in banks! - Nosila, 2009-03-06: 18:44:00
Master of the one letter change to form a perfect verbotomy! Brilliant! - silveryaspen, 2009-03-06: 19:11:00
----------------------------
