Verboticism: Woofediting

'I'm getting my vocal cords tuned!'

DEFINITION: n. A non-threatening term to describe the procedure of cutting vocal cords on yappy dogs, which makes it sound like a good thing -- after all, they will never bark again. v. To remove the vocal chords.

Create | Read

Voted For: Woofediting

Successfully added your vote for "Woofediting".

You still have one vote left...

Goldend

Created by: Buzzardbilly

Pronunciation: ˈgōl-dənd

Sentence: The vet goldend our dog, so we didn't get any warning barks when the burglars were coming.

Etymology: If silence is golden and you make something silent, wouldn't it be golden? Since the silence brings an end to the noise, wouldn't the procudure to rid the noisemaker of its noise-making abilities be a "gold end"? So, splicing "golden" and "end" makes "goldend."

----------------------------
COMMENTS:

I have to add that the vet I used to work for refused to do the "de-barking" procedure (as they do call it) because the dogs still made noise and wore themselves out trying to bark. So, while my word fits the definition given, the procedure and its outcomes are at odds with the notion. - Buzzardbilly, 2009-08-31: 10:55:00

metrohumanx If it's cruel to "de-bark" a tree, how do our Canine-Americans feel about the procedure? - metrohumanx, 2009-09-01: 11:10:00

----------------------------

| Comments and Points

Goldenize

artr

Created by: artr

Pronunciation: gōldənīz

Sentence: When Ron saw an ad from his vet offering to goldenize his dog he was intrigued. Control his dog’s barking? That sounded great. When he found out that it involved cutting the vocal cords he was stunned.

Etymology: golden (very favorable) + ize (suffix forming verbs) because ”silence is golden”

| Comments and Points

Barkectomy

Created by: BMott

Pronunciation: bark-ek-to-me

Sentence: We took Yappi for a barkectomy after the neighbors complained about how noisy he was.

Etymology: Bark - The noise a dog makes. Ectomy - Removal of.

| Comments and Points

Disembarking

Created by: galwaywegian

Pronunciation:

Sentence: shep is much quieter sinc being disembarked, but every now and then he gets a rather worrying look on his face...

Etymology:

----------------------------
COMMENTS:

very funny!! - Jabberwocky, 2007-01-31: 12:32:00

----------------------------

| Comments and Points

Yipectomy

Created by: ahwinters

Pronunciation: yip - eck - toe - me

Sentence: Fido was significantly less annoying after his yipectomy.

Etymology: Yip (sound) + ectomy (to cut out)

| Comments and Points

Barchotomy

Created by: Mustang

Pronunciation: bar-KOT-uh-mee

Sentence: After many sleepless nights and calls from angry neighbors Harriet took her pooch Herbie to the vet for a barchotomy which solved her problem but left Herbie perplexed at his wispering bark.

Etymology: Combination of bark (the abrupt, harsh, explosive cry of a dog) and dichotomy (from the Greek dichotomia (divided): dich- (form of dícha , in two, asunder); tomia- a combining form meaning cutting, incision, excision of an object)

| Comments and Points

Softenbark

petaj

Created by: petaj

Pronunciation: soff-n-bach

Sentence: Fideaux the puppy's awful barking would clash with his owner's piano practice. So he was off to the vet to softenbark.

Etymology: soften (make quieter) + bark (dog noise) + offenbach (musical composer)

| Comments and Points

Disembowow

Created by: galwaywegian

Pronunciation: diss em bou ou

Sentence: when barkley was disembowowed he felt like disembarking from the ship of life

Etymology: disembowel bow ow

| Comments and Points

Unchordinate

jonzerofourteen

Created by: jonzerofourteen

Pronunciation: un kord in ayt

Sentence: Puddles, next door, was a quiet dog since the operation. Jeff secretly wished somebody would unchordinate its owner in a similar manner.

Etymology: un (to negate) + chord (as in vocal chord) + ate (to cause or to act upon)

| Comments and Points

Petpax

Created by: Stevenson0

Pronunciation: pet/pax

Sentence: Annoying pet-speak disturbing your home life? Welcome to the 21st century puppy-love solution!! Petpax, the new non-invasive (to you the owner) surgery, guarantees to reduce pet chatter by 95%. Pets will be silently happy the way they were meant to be. (WARNING: may attract intruders and wet spots on the carpet - no assembly necessary)

Etymology: pet + pax (peace)

| Comments and Points

Show All or More...