Verboticism: Disconjobulation
DEFINITION: v. To deny one's accomplishments, or minimize one's abilities in order to obtain a job. n. A resume, or list of qualifications, which has been disembellished and disemboweled to meet extremely low job requirements.
Voted For: Disconjobulation
Successfully added your vote for "Disconjobulation".
You still have one vote left...
Curriculumbidet
Created by: Nosila
Pronunciation: coor rik yu lum bee day
Sentence: His curriculum vitae read more like it had been made into a curriculumbidet...all the most recent events on his resume had been whitewashed and changed as though they never had happened or had not as much impact as one would have thought. When the recruiter asked him what skills he brought to the job of a waiter, Dubya as he was known for short, thought hard and long about it before responding. Okay, 10 seconds. "Well, I am good at taking orders from my Mom, Dad and Wife; I know how to run up a large tab; I can recommend Rice as a staple in any regime;Iraq up tips; I am good at nonsensical banter and if we get real busy, my two burly friends, who speak into their cufflinks, can lend a hand."
Etymology: Rhymes with Curriculum Vitae (a summary of your academic and work history) & Bidet (a basin for washing genitals and anal area)
----------------------------
COMMENTS:
You are queen of the delightful denouement! His-tor-ically Funny! - silveryaspen, 2009-02-25: 02:11:00
Make that His-story-cally funny! - silveryaspen, 2009-02-25: 02:12:00
----------------------------
Resumaynot
Created by: galwaywegian
Pronunciation: rez you mey noht
Sentence: her resumaynot neglected to mention any of her achievements since high school apart from the mose killing stuff
Etymology: resume may not
Noncomplishments
Created by: Nosila
Pronunciation: non kom plish ments
Sentence: When Bank Manager Mr. Drysdale applied at the fast food restaurant for a part-time job, his resume was full of noncomplishments. His interest in the job was on account of the fact that he'd lost a lot in his bank retirement savings plan. The Assistant Manager who interviewed him after he deposited his application did not trust his resume. It was a wicket lie he knew, but he could hardly teller the truth. He had worked at a Sperm Bank...
Etymology: Non (negative, not at all) & Accomplishments (achievements, qualifications, abilities acquired by training)
Brevsume
Created by: mweinmann
Pronunciation: brev + som + ay
Sentence: Joyce had two versions of her resume ready so that she could qualify for both entry level and professional job openings. Her resume contained years of achievements, awards and education. Her brevsume was much shorter. It began with her illustrious career as a papergirl, progressed to bagging groceries and ended with her stint as a parking lot attendant...
Etymology: Brevity and Resume >> Brevity (The quality of being brief in duration; Succinctness; conciseness) Resume (summary of educational and employment experience)
----------------------------
COMMENTS:
wonderful verbotomy - Jabberwocky, 2009-02-25: 14:36:00
Very good! - Mustang, 2009-02-25: 21:18:00
----------------------------
Crapplication
Created by: galwaywegian
Pronunciation: krap lik ay shun
Sentence: He tried to gloss over the error on his crapplication, insisting that Doctor was his first name
Etymology: application, crap
----------------------------
COMMENTS:
that would be a neat first name - Jabberwocky, 2009-02-25: 14:39:00
----------------------------
Splinterviewing
Created by: matte76
Pronunciation:
Sentence: Bob was splinterviewing for the fry cook job since there was nothing else available. The 60-year olds' resume had obviously been splinterviewed to increase its' appeal.
Etymology:
Accomplishmin
Created by: feltcap
Pronunciation: ə-kŏm'plĭsh'mĭn
Sentence: She knew they would take one look at her resume and be worried about the safety of their own jobs. What she needed was an accomplishmin, minimizing her extensive over qualifications, just so should could get in the door.
Etymology: accomplishment - a special skill or ability acquired by training or practice, min - short for minimize, to reduce
Downpay
Created by: FreakyDeak
Pronunciation: Down-pay
Sentence:
Etymology: Downplay + pay
Caredaction
Created by: Negatrev
Pronunciation: Cer-re-dak-shun
Sentence: John really needed this menial job, so performed a little caredaction on his resume before submitting it.
Etymology: from Career (An occupation undertaken for a significant period of a person's life and with opportunities for progress.) and redact(Edit (text) for publication.)
Disconjobulation
Created by: Mustang
Pronunciation: dis-con-job-yu-LAY-shun
Sentence: With no possible chance to find another job in his highly specialized field, Alexander found it necessary to apply for jobs he once considered beneath himself and found a little disconjobulation was necessary in order to 'qualify' for such menial positions.
Etymology: A play on the word discombobulation, or discombobulate (To throw into a state of confusion)