Verboticism: Pleasewaiteternity

'I don't let my laptop date!'

DEFINITION: v. A software update or patch which uses up a ton of memory and hard drive space, stalling the computer with a crippling case of performance anxiety. n. To stall out a computer by installing a software "upgrade".

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Useupgrade

Created by: Stevenson0

Pronunciation: use/up/grade

Sentence: The patch to fix the program uses more memory than the program itself, making it a useupgrade rather than a viable program.

Etymology: USEUPGRADE - from - USE UP + UPGRADE

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COMMENTS:

Good one! - TJayzz, 2009-02-23: 17:27:00

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Floptimize

Created by: FreakyDeak

Pronunciation: flop-tim-eyes

Sentence: The decision to floptimize my computer was a wrong one, seeing as it can now barely perform addition.

Etymology: Flop-optimize

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COMMENTS:

It was either this or stoptimize - FreakyDeak, 2010-09-08: 02:53:00

nice - galwaywegian, 2010-09-08: 08:57:00

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Pleasewaiteternity

GlobalGallery

Created by: GlobalGallery

Pronunciation: pleez-wayt-urn-itee

Sentence: "That site has everything" proclaimed Charles, "All the coolest games, movies, and TV shows, and it's all free". William sat there staring eagerly at the screen. He was just moments away from accessing a treasure trove of quality content. Those moments became minutes and the loading bar kept restarting. William was facing a pleasewaiternity when he realised that the promise was too good to be true and the site was a dud. Then his keyboard, mouse and screen all locked up in synchronized chaos.

Etymology: Loading please wait... + eternity (forever)

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Busstop

Created by: otherguy

Pronunciation: bəsstäp

Sentence: The latest "gotta-install-it-or-your-computer-will-blow-up" patch to the patch to the patch turned out to be a complete busstop on my computer. (I'm writing this on a friend's laptop)

Etymology: bus: a distinct set of conductors carrying data and control signals within a computer system, to which pieces of equipment may be connected in parallel + stop: come to an end; cease to happen

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COMMENTS:

artr Ooh, sounds personal! - artr, 2009-02-23: 07:24:00

did busplug inspire you? - silveryaspen, 2009-02-23: 11:26:00

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Dualsnore

artr

Created by: artr

Pronunciation: doōəlsnôr

Sentence: Ryan is diligent about winstalling every patch and wupgrade that comes along. The latest one turned his fancy dualcore processor into a dualsnore. He can't understand how his bestest-friends-ever at Windows could have let him down. Surely they couldn't have made a mistake. He decides that he must have done something wrong in downloading or winstalling the patch to the patch so he'll wait patiently for the patch to the patch to the patch.

Etymology: dual core (A multi-core processor) + snore (a snorting or grunting sound in a person's breathing while asleep)(a thing that is extremely boring)

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Connixion

Created by: Nosila

Pronunciation: kon iks eon

Sentence: Although she had been advised to do so, Marianne was reluctant to install another connixion to slow down her computer.

Etymology: Connexion ( the process of bringing ideas or events together in memory or imagination) & Nix (nothing;a quantity of no importance)

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Retrofret

Created by: readerwriter

Pronunciation: reh-troh-freht

Sentence: To3m (the 3 was silent) had held onto his Commodore "Daisy" for so long that anytime he tried to update her, she pitched a retrofret.

Etymology: A play on RETROFIT, referring to an upgrade in technology + FRET, disturb or agitate

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Arthridical

Created by: letty

Pronunciation:

Sentence: You have an arthridical patient.

Etymology:

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Desktopdysfunction

Created by: Nosila

Pronunciation: desk top dis funk shun

Sentence: You know the embarrassment, the guilt, the feelings of inadequacy, the viagravvation. Yes, we've all seen the commercials to go to your doctor. But where does your computer go when it suffers from desktopdysfunction? There's no self help groups, no printed literature. All it can do is surf the net and hope for an antidote to the new patch you've installed. The one which was supposed to increase memory and speed, but which instead creates internet impotence. Maybe somewhere there's a cure, but until there's a celebrity spokesperson or a telethon to raise funds and awareness, what's a lowly desktop to do? It's hard-breaking...

Etymology: Desktop ((computer science) the area of the screen in graphical user interfaces against which icons and windows appear) & Dysfunction ((medicine) any disturbance in the function of an organ or body part). Play on erectile dysfunction (impotence resulting from a man's inability to have or maintain an erection)

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Giveupdate

Created by: Negatrev

Pronunciation: Giv-up-day-t

Sentence: Johnny left for lunch early as his workstation wasn't usable while it was giveupdating.

Etymology: give-up (to concede,relent) and update (to bring in line, to improve)

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