Verboticism: Shitibank

'Is my money safe with you?'

DEFINITION: n. A bank which pays huge salaries to its executives who bet their customers' money on dumb investments, risky loans, and the inevitable government bail-out. v. To lend, spend, and mismanage a bank into bankruptcy.

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Loanarranger

Created by: Nosila

Pronunciation: lone ar rayn jer

Sentence: When Mary opened an account at the local bank, she was hoping to borrow enough money to finance a new home. She soon realized that the money she would borrow would cost her five times again as much in interest and that virtually she never would really own her home, in her lifetime. The interest that this loanarranger charged her went towards expensive lifestyles and foolish investment decisions of the bank's executives. She stormed out of the bank manager's office, crying "Goodbye, accrual world!"

Etymology: Loan Arranger (institute/person who lends money at an exhorbitant interest rate) & Wordplay on The Lone Ranger (1950's tv Western series of a lone surviving Texas Ranger who was nursed back to health by the Indian Tonto rides with him, on Silver and Scout, throughout the West, doing good while living off a silver mine which supplies him with income and bullets)

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COMMENTS:

Hi ho silver and gold! - scrabbelicious, 2012-01-13: 07:59:00

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Dinvestor

Created by: mweinmann

Pronunciation: din - vest - or

Sentence: Margery began to suspect that her bank had become a dinvestor instead of an investor of her funds. Lately, she was growing suspicious that either they were incompetent or that they were siphoning off funds and worried that her money might disappear. There were an increasing number of expensive cars in the parking lot but the property was looking a bit unkempt. She had also stopped receiving statements lately....hmmmm

Etymology: Divest + Investor >>> Divest (In finance and economics, divestment or divestiture is the reduction of some kind of asset for either financial goals or ethical objectives. A divestment is the opposite of an investment) Investor (A person who invests money in order to make a profit)

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Fiscalpredaterminus

metrohumanx

Created by: metrohumanx

Pronunciation: FISS-cull-pred-uh-TERM-ih-nuss (fiscalpredaterminate)

Sentence: Chairman Moe bought his little bank at a fire sale in the 1980's and watched it grow into a financial ziggurat through astute aquisitions, lavish lobbying and deregulation. After stashing his nestegg in the Cayman Islands, Moe watched with detachment as his friendly neighborhood bank became a FISCALPREDATERMINUS - a final resting place for his depositor's hard earned money. As the pyroclastic flow of bad loans and foreclosures swept the monetary madhouse, Moe relaxed on a sandy beach, sipping tropical beverages from coconuts and playing idly with the little paper umbrellas. Next time he would have to increase his executive compensation.

Etymology: FISCAL+PREDATor+TERMINUS= FISCALPREDATERMINUS.....FISCAL:of or relating to financial matters;Latin fiscalis, from fiscus basket, treasury.....PREDATOR:one that preys, destroys, devours or plunders,a mode of life in which wealth is primarily obtained by the killing and consuming of lesser institutions or corporations;Middle English predacion, from Latin praedation-, praedatio, from praedari.....TERMINUS:a final goal,a finishing point,a route leading ultimately to death,being in the final stages of a fatal disease;Latin terminalis, from terminus.

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Siphonandbone

Created by: Stevenson0

Pronunciation: si/phon/and/bone

Sentence: "Invest your money in Bank of AmERRica's siphonandbone department where our integrity and your investment needs are rarely, if ever considered. We love gambling on already bankrupt companies and insolvent business ventures. Where else are you assured of losing your money? Devest youself today at Bank of AmERRica."

Etymology: SIPHONANDBONE - taken from SAVINGS AND LOAN - SIPHON (to drain, or skim off) + TO BONE (to take advantage of, to cheat, to screw royally)

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COMMENTS:

great word - Jabberwocky, 2009-01-27: 10:14:00

funny - mweinmann, 2009-01-27: 11:44:00

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Shitibank

Created by: idavecook

Pronunciation: Shit-EEE-Bay-n-k

Sentence: "I just got a job at Shitibank!" exclaimed Joe the plumber as he leapt unknowingly down the stairs to his demise. To the horror of his co-workers and recent ex-coworkers, they wondered if Joe knew he had been laid off before his neck hit the last step?

Etymology: A loan, a dick, and your ass.

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COMMENTS:

Good play on Citibank butt the etymology?? - mweinmann, 2009-01-27: 11:44:00

Great word...you'd think with exorbitant interest they charge they could keep a few more Joe's on staff.. - Nosila, 2009-01-27: 23:20:00

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Reelersnstealers

Created by: kateinkorea

Pronunciation: REEL ers en STEEL ers

Sentence: At this bank the wheelers and dealers are more like reelersnstealers. They reel you in and then steal from you.

Etymology: WHEELERS and DEALERS: shrewd operators, especially in business REEL: to pull in STEALER: someone who takes something dishonestly

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COMMENTS:

REELY accuRATE! - silveryaspen, 2009-01-27: 01:19:00

Wheely good - TJayzz, 2009-01-27: 10:11:00

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Bankrapers

Created by: silveryaspen

Pronunciation: bank rape ers

Sentence: As CEO (Cheat Em Officer) of the bank, the first disorder of business was to set my salary at a million of your invested dollars, per year. Of course, each bored member voted the same for themselves. Knowing loans made, would never be repaid, we voted to lend all our business buzzard friends, millions more, so they could carrion their extravagant lifestyles and hide their rotting businesses. The rest of your money, we sinvested in the worthless stock of these business buzzards' companies. For screwing you out of your money, and screwing the government out of billions more, we have become known as the biggest bankrapers in history!

Etymology: BANK, RAPE. Also a word play on bank robbers. BANK - business offering financial services: a business that KEEPS MONEY for individual people or companies, exchanges currencies, makes loans, and offers other financial services. RAPE - violent abusive destructive treatment.

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Mortgouge

Created by: Nosila

Pronunciation: mor gowj

Sentence: Remember the good old days, when a bank was synonymous with fidelity, trust, credit? Now they only pay you interest when they want to lien on you. They mortgouge your soul and make you do a balancing act everyday. They venture your hard-earned money and sell it into bondage. They make an asset out of you and me and you can take that to the bank.

Etymology: Mortgage (a conditional conveyance of property as security for the repayment of a loan; put up as security or collateral) & Gouge (obtain by coercion or intimidation)

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Growontreepreneur

GlobalGallery

Created by: GlobalGallery

Pronunciation: grow-on-tree-pren-yer

Sentence: "Thankyou Sir" uttered Manuel as he palmed the wrinkled dollar bill handed to him by the sunburnt banker in the driveway of the country club. "The keys are in your Ferrari, and your golf clubs wouldn't quite fit so I've put them in your wife's Bentley" he said politely. As the Ferrari sped off Manuel wondered if one day he too could be a wealthy growontreepreneur.

Etymology: 1. Money doesn't grow on trees - A phrase used to express the need for financial restraint. 2. entrepreneur - someone who organises a business venture and assumes the risk for it.

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COMMENTS:

An Irony Hit! - silveryaspen, 2009-01-27: 10:08:00

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Squirlvestor

Created by: LiaraTivona

Pronunciation: skwerl-vest-or

Sentence: "Why would you give your money to a bank that is a known squirlvestor?" "Don't squirlvestor this company away at a time when the competition is looming!"

Etymology: squirrel (v. to store stashes for the future, many of which may not be recovered) investor (n. a person who arranges finances, often on behalf of others, by placing them in other locations in the hopes of future returns)

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