Verboticism: Guidunce

'Do not use in shower? That's so dumb!'

DEFINITION: n., A set of product instructions, or a warning label, which is so obviously self-evident that it should be completely unnecessary. v., To provide unneeded directions, advice and/or warnings.

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Duhrections

libertybelle

Created by: libertybelle

Pronunciation: duh-reck-shuns

Sentence: It seems evident to me that one shouldn't place their bare hand directly into a running snow blower, but apparently all of the visitors to my emergency room that come in with missing fingers due to doing just that failed to read the clearly marked duhrections on the side of the machine.

Etymology: duh + directions

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COMMENTS:

zxvasdf This is perfect - zxvasdf, 2008-11-05: 10:46:00

zxvasdf This is perfect - zxvasdf, 2008-11-05: 10:46:00

Very good!! - Mustang, 2008-11-05: 19:49:00

Duhlightful! - Nosila, 2008-11-05: 21:58:00

artr But duh snow wasn't coming out! Love your word! - artr, 2008-11-06: 07:46:00

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Redunstruction

zxvasdf

Created by: zxvasdf

Pronunciation: Re dun struc tion

Sentence: Although it seems pointless to warn about obviously self evident dangers, redunstructions are very necessary as the companies don't want their products to be associated with the death of idiots (despite the advantage of eugenics in the Darwinian sense).

Etymology: Redundant (unnecessary) & instruction (imparted knowledge)

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Knowshow

Created by: paintergrl1313

Pronunciation: No-sho

Sentence: These hair dryer instructions are common sense, a real knowshow.

Etymology: To show someone what they should already know. Also a play on no show, cause anyone that needs a knowshow has no show common sense.

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Dillertive

Created by: OZZIEBOB

Pronunciation: dil-LURT-iv

Sentence: Bob fell into an uncontrollable fit of laughter when he noticed that the dillertive on his cup of coffee read: "CONTENTS ARE HOT." However, he laughed so much that he spilled the contents over his hands, and now is suing the coffee shop owner for damages for not putting a more meaningful clodicil on the cup.

Etymology: DILL: a fool, dillbrain, dunderhead; dill a cognate of dull; LERT from Alert: a warning or alarm against impending danger & IVE: suffix meaning having a tendency to, having the quality, character or nature of. consider woprds such as captive, derivative, objective.

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COMMENTS:

love clodicil too - Jabberwocky, 2008-11-05: 14:58:00

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Idiotified

Created by: tituba

Pronunciation: i di ot ti fied

Sentence: The lady was idiotified when she used her hairdryer in the shower.

Etymology: id iot i fied dumb in the brain

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Stupispeak

Created by: silveryaspen

Pronunciation: stoo-pi-speak

Sentence: Nowdays, everything comes with stupispeak labeling.

Etymology: a combo of stupid and speak

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Qeduh

Created by: CDH167

Pronunciation: kyoo-ee-duh

Sentence: "Do not lick blade while chainsaw is running? QEDuh!"

Etymology: 'QED' from (quod erat demonstrandum), a phrased used at the end of a logical proof, Latin for 'ta-da!' + 'duh,' onomatopeic ignorance

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Warningunneeded

Created by: markhoward91

Pronunciation: warning/un/need/ed

Sentence: Dude, don't jump off a cliff. Warningunneeded.

Etymology:

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Duhlabel

artr

Created by: artr

Pronunciation: dəlābəl

Sentence: As Jerry got ready for work he noticed that everything he picked up had a duhlabel on it, from the shampoo he wasn't supposed to drink to the electric appliances that were not to join him in the tub; from the razor that was a hazard because it was sharp to the Q-tip that wasn't intended to go in his ear (then why are they shaped like that?) He wondered to himself just how anybody could get safely through their day without these "pearls of wisdom". Of course, Jerry might be a bit slow. It took him 38 years to notice them in the first place.

Etymology: duh (exclamation: used to comment on an action perceived as foolish or stupid) + label (a small piece of paper, fabric, plastic, or similar material attached to an object and giving information about)

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Caveabsurdigious

mrskellyscl

Created by: mrskellyscl

Pronunciation: kah-vey-ab-sur-di-gous

Sentence: The folks in legal, being highly tagmatic, applied caveabsurdigious directions to every product to protect the company from lawsuits that may come due to accidents or death by stupidity.

Etymology: caveat: legalese term for warning, caution; an explanation or qualification + absurd:ridiculously unreasonable or illogical + litigious: tending to engage in lawsuits

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