Verboticism: Calmandant

'Ahhh! My hair! Don't let them see me like this!'

DEFINITION: v. To remain calm, steadfast and ploddingly systematic in the midst of a huge freaking disaster. n. A person who systematizes everything from their morning routines to personal relationships.

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Methodicool

mrskellyscl

Created by: mrskellyscl

Pronunciation: meth-odd-i-cool

Sentence: 007 was so methodicool that even in the midst of an attack by 500 professional bad guys he was able to remain calm and composed. Not only did he come up with a solution to destroy evil, kill all the bad guys and save the world; but his hair stayed perfectly in place the whole time, even in a Jaguar with the top down, making him even cooler and attractive to hot babes who wore bikinis to work.

Etymology: methodical: characterized by ordered and systematic habits or behavior + cool: marked by calm self-control; to be all that

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COMMENTS:

That's 007 - never shaken or stirred! - Nosila, 2009-11-26: 09:14:00

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Calmandant

Created by: Nosila

Pronunciation: colm man dant

Sentence: His real name was Edward Edwards, but we called him Steady Eddie. His middle name was Danger, you just knew it. He was the Safety Officer at work. You know, the guy they have to have on staff by law, who has weekly boring meetings, who arranges first-aid classes ad nauseum, who sends out zillions of safety tips and preventative brochures. You know, the guy who loves to organize fire drills, creates emergency preparedness policies, who lives for Fire Prevention Week or news of the Pandemic,who arranges yearly flu shots, who handles bomb scares, suicide preventions, does random drug testing and tries to beat his last timed evacuation record. He can't wait to have to call the CDC in Atlanta, the FAA, ER, SWAT,Interpol, WCB,EPA, FireRescue, Coast Guard, National Guard and any other agencies on his speed-dial. He lives to test our flashlight batteries, extinguishers, carbon monoxide detectors and the oxygen masks that he has installed over our desks, like the airlines. Don't get me wrong, we need guys like Steady Eddie, but did he have to enjoy a career based on potential tragedy so much? Although excited by the prospect of a looming calamity, he always remained cool, calm and efficient. Steady Eddie was the Master of Disaster; he was the AntiCrisis; the Apocalypse Mao; The Tragically Equipped; Genghis Yes-You-Can; Attila The Nine-One-One; Napoleon Bones-a-part; The Wizard of Gauze...Yes, he was our own Calmandant. They said he even stayed calm when the aliens abducted him one morning and took him with them to probe at will, never to get to wear his reflective safety vest and clipboard again. There's just no known drill to prevent that kind of incident!

Etymology: calm (steadiness of mind under stress;marked by freedom from agitation or excitement) & commandant (someone in an official position of authority who can command or control others)

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COMMENTS:

"Apocalypse Mao" was just too funny! Excellent. - Tigger, 2008-07-10: 02:03:00

metrohumanx CALMANDANT is cool- Steady Eddy is just the kind of take-charge guy we need ......not - metrohumanx, 2008-07-10: 07:50:00

very apt - Jabberwocky, 2008-07-10: 09:37:00

Steady Eddie is indeed needed in these types of situations, - at least, he'd keep everyone laughing. - OZZIEBOB, 2008-07-11: 18:23:00

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Steadyeddy

Created by: Nosila

Pronunciation: sted dee ed dee

Sentence: When Ed Dodds was faced with flooded streets in his hometown, after tornadoes and torrential rains, he remained calm and helped his neighbours. He organized boats to help steadyeddy them to higher ground and safety and kept up their spirits. He would have been eligible for a some kind of hero award, had he and his boat not ended up being beamed into a passing UFO spacecraft.Now his neighbours all call out to the skies, "E.D., phone home".

Etymology: Steady (steadfast, calm, reliable) & Eddy (swirling whirlpool or whirlwind and a guy's name)

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Panicstilled

Created by: Maureen

Pronunciation: pan-ic-stil-d

Sentence: "Darling come home quickly, the tree has fallen across the house, all the windows are broken and the dog is dead." Mark, ever the panicstiller, said "Don't worry sweeheart I'll pick up a spade on the way home so we can bury poor Charlie."

Etymology: Panic - a state of terror and Still - calm, tranquil.

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Shitcreeksurfing

Created by: katytee

Pronunciation:

Sentence: One good thing about an outbreak of the Ebola virus was that the queues at Tesco's customer service desk were always greatly reduced, thought John - who was one of life's natural shitcreeksurfers, and a bit of a pedantic git.

Etymology: To be 'up shit creek without a paddle' and take the opportunity for a spot of healthy exercise on your canoe.

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Calmamity

Created by: galwaywegian

Pronunciation: kaam am ittee

Sentence: his calmamity in adversity was legendary, what a pity he was such a disappopintment in bed, thought Moneypenney

Etymology: calm calamity

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COMMENTS:

great word - Jabberwocky, 2007-05-10: 12:17:00

Great concept! - jedijawa, 2007-05-11: 08:29:00

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Syssedate

Created by: Rhyme79

Pronunciation: siss-seh-date

Sentence: "Queenie is so sysedate despite the madness in this office. I don't know how she does it!"

Etymology: Amalgamation of the words 'system' and 'sedate'.

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Androitude

ohwtepph

Created by: ohwtepph

Pronunciation: AHN - droi - tyood

Sentence: No, it wasn't the crashing of a plane infested with snakes or the holdup of the diner that made Samuel L. Jackson's girlfriend go ballistic and frantically screaming for help... it was actually his androitude.

Etymology: android (a systematic cyberhuman; we all know how freakishly organized C-3PO was) + attitude (disposition)

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Numbfreak

Created by: remistram

Pronunciation: numm - freek

Sentence: Ted numbfreaked like a pro when he was told that everyone in the office was being fired. He took his coffee cup and he went home. Needless to say he won the numbfreak employee of the month award.

Etymology: numb (to be indifferent, non-feeling), freak (as in irrationally emotional, an anomoly)

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Borgwart

Created by: serendipity9000

Pronunciation: BORG-war-t

Sentence: I was freaking out! They said we had to evacuate - but Joe was a total borgwart, kept carrying boxes of our stuff to the car until they blocked the door and forced us to drive away.

Etymology: borg (and who was more systematic than the borg) + wart (often used as suffix for person as in stalwart or worrywart)

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