Verboticism: Crassistant

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Crassistant

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Uncivilservant

Created by: Nosila

Pronunciation: un siv ill ser vant

Sentence: Megan was definitely a most uncivilservant. She never allowed anything as insignificant as a customer to interrupt her busy day. She was in a deep phone conversation (the fourth today) with her best friend, Vanessa, who was on duty working in another store, two blocks away. Their brainy exchanges usually went "Well, he says,I don't know,like, what are you doing?" "And I go,like, I dunno" "And he says 'Whatever'". "Can you imagine? Like, as if." Megan carried on in this vein for like five or ten minutes, when a customer arrived at her till. The customer was getting impatient. Megan glowered at him and turned her back to continue her very important phone call. When the man started saying, "Excuse me", Megan reluctantly turned around and chewing gum loudly, with her phone jammed into her ear, gave him an impatient "What do you want?" gesture with hands and face. Too late she twigged he wore a balaclava and held a gun in one hand (pointed at her head)and a bag to collect the money he was going to rob from her till, in the other hand. "Oh-Ma-God", she thought, "My cell phone is dying..."

Etymology: uncivil(rude, impolite,lacking good manners) & servant (one who serves or provides a service) & civil servant for rhyming (a public official, member of the civil service)

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Checklout

artr

Created by: artr

Pronunciation: cheklout

Sentence: Harry is an only child. He grew up thinking that he is the center of the universe. That’s just the way he treats his job as a checklout clerk. If a customer is so rude as to expect service he is quick to correct them. He’s been known to freeze a customer mid-sentence with just a look.

Etymology: checkout (a point at which goods are paid for in a supermarket or other store) + lout (an uncouth or aggressive man or boy)

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Clirk

artr

Created by: artr

Pronunciation: klərk

Sentence: Calvin knows he needs to have a job. He doesn’t always understand that he needs to work. With his cell phone firmly planted on the side of his head, he can clirk just about any customer in the store. If a client is rude enough to interrupt his chat time, they will likely get not much more than a sigh. And, as everybody knows "sighs matters".

Etymology: clerk (an assistant in a store) + irk (irritate; annoy)

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Slackercasher

Created by: splendiction

Pronunciation: slack er cash er

Sentence: Bill first thought the store had planted a mannequin, arms crossed, at the cash desk. She possessed a vacant stare and exhibited limited life. He stood perplexed, waited for the slackercasher to get into motion. Patience turned to desperation as he heard another cusstomer behind him snarl for help. “OK LET’S GET SOME SERVICE HERE, we don’t have all day!” The slackercasher did get into action: she picked up her cell and began typing a text! Bill resigned to step over to wait in a long line of another aisle.

Etymology: From slacker and casher or cashier.

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Salesjerk

Created by: scissorlips

Pronunciation: saylz jurk

Sentence: All too often the end of our long wait in line is met by a salesjerk; a cocky, nitwit who can exert authority only through annoying customers.

Etymology: sales + JERK, similar to salesclerk

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Cashneer

Created by: Nosila

Pronunciation: kash neer

Sentence: Joel is a customer service nightmare. He thinks customers are just there to annoy him and interrupt his more interesting pursuits. Joel is a cashneer. He neither knows nor cares why they are paying him. See Joel fail another secret shopper audit. Sorry, Joel, but you should have realized that the poor customer you detest gives your boss the money to pay you. Being paid is something you no longer have to worry about!

Etymology: cashier(a person responsible for receiving payments for goods and services (as in a shop or restaurant) & Sneer (a facial expression of contempt or scorn; the upper lip curls; a contemptuous or scornful remark;smile contemptuously)

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Tillshy

Created by: OZZIEBOB

Pronunciation: TILL-shy

Sentence: Why don't you shop on-line, and stop rudely interrupting my day, was the routine retort to customers from the tillshy, check-out "chick".

Etymology: Combination of TILL: drawer for money in cash-register etc., & SHY: as in workshy - to be afraid of.

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Salesassholestant

Created by: rikboyee

Pronunciation: sales-ass-hol-sternt

Sentence: i chose to leave the store rather than hand over money to that salesassholestant

Etymology: sales assistant, asshole

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Attendunts

Created by: Nosila

Pronunciation: at ten duns

Sentence: Jason was typical of the attendunts a retail store can afford, someone who spent his whole shift texting and phoning friends. Jason made people sorry they stopped by. When the CEO came on a Royal Visit, the whole entourage got busy and decorated the store. Except Jason, who told his immediate supervisor (who was 17) that he had to catch up on his filing. I smell an audit coming. Jason is now filing again...his unemployment papers.

Etymology: Attendant (cashier or clerk) & Dunts (To strike; give a blow to; knock) &dunce (stupid person)

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Snubscribe

Created by: Nosila

Pronunciation: snub skrybe

Sentence: "It's no wonder people shoplift", Betty thought as she waited yet again at Customer Service to make a payment on her layaway. The cashier was going to snubscribe her again because he was too busy yakking on his cellphone on a social call. Fed up, she went to the Store Manager and told him loudly that the hardest part about shopping there was the fact that you had to wait endlessly for them to take your money. The Store Manager would have responded to her sooner, but he was too busy texting someone...

Etymology: Snub (refuse to acknowledge;ignore) & Subscribe (receive or obtain by regular payment;pay (an amount of money) as a contribution to a charity or service, especially at regular intervals)

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