Verboticism: Autocommunifrustratilooplooploop

'Please listen carefully as our menu has recently changed...'

DEFINITION: v. To call a phone "help line" and spend 45 minutes pushing buttons and screaming at dumb voice-recognition system, before being automatically disconnected. n. A push-button or voice-activated phone menu system designed to irritate those who use it.

Create | Read

Voted For: Autocommunifrustratilooplooploop

Successfully added your vote for "Autocommunifrustratilooplooploop".

You still have one vote left...

Automaddening

Created by: Mustang

Pronunciation: ah-toh-MAD-ning

Sentence: The more Lance fiddled with the automated answering service at the hospital the more automaddening it became, with him eventually tossing his cell phone on the floor and heading out to the hospital in his car knowing it would likely be faster.

Etymology: Blend of 'automated' and 'maddening'.

----------------------------
COMMENTS:

Who needs bureaucracy when you have automaddening answering services to drive you insane? - dochanne, 2009-05-20: 23:29:00

Automaddening is so much quicker than doing it manually... - Nosila, 2009-05-20: 23:34:00

----------------------------

| Comments and Points

Autocommunifrustratilooplooploop

Created by: CanadianAndyCapp

Pronunciation: Or-tow-kom-U-ni-fruss-tray-tee-loop-loop-loop (with the final three loops said in an increasingly aggitated, high, strangulated manner)

Sentence: (Taken from a speech by General Ludd)...."...Tecno-phobes and Luddites unite! you have only the shackles of your automated communications and information data retrieval systems to lose. We have been tricked into believing that these "new and improved" technologies were developed to improve our lives. Not So! they are the subvertive systems by which we are brainwashed into surrendering our individual creative and social capabilities to the mind-numbing and straitjacket methods of the computerised system we are trying to use. For proof we need look no further than the omnipresent office automatic phone systems and their cunningly devised autocommunifrustratilooplooploop tortures. Arise, rebels of the future and reclaim your sanity and souls!!!!..." This message is recorded for public information. Please press one to repeat this message, Two for information on how to...........looplooploop

Etymology: Auto - Automatic (Constantly breaking down) / Communi - Communication (totally without intelligent substance) / Frustrati - Frustration (The Human condition) / Looplooploop (Go back to the beginning and start again-again-again)

Voted For! | Comments and Points

Vexmessaging

Created by: Nosila

Pronunciation: vex mess ajing

Sentence: Vexmessaging is described as what used to be a 2 minute inquiry call to a company, greeted by a pleasant, real live person, which has been replaced with a very long battle with an automatronic simulated human voice which does not give you enough options to get an answer. Vexmessaging gives companies the statistics that say their complaints this year are fewer. It is only because no one can get through to anyone to complain!!! Your call is important to us... indeed!

Etymology: Vex (to irritate, annoy,disturb the peace of mind of; afflict with mental agitation or distress;cause annoyance in;especially by minor irritations or be a mystery or bewildering to) & Messaging (sending a message or receiving one)& rhymes with Text Messaging (how everyone under 30 communicates in abbreviated codes, by cell phone/blackberry or other computerized device...even if they are in the same room as those with whom they communicating!)

----------------------------
COMMENTS:

Covers it quite nicely. Great word! - Mustang, 2009-05-20: 04:58:00

so true - Jabberwocky, 2009-05-22: 13:15:00

----------------------------

| Comments and Points

Vexmail

Created by: Nosila

Pronunciation: veks mayl

Sentence: When Bruce tried calling the phone company to extend the minutes on his phone, he had to go through no less than 20 prompts of vexmail to reach the person he needed. By that point the call was moot because he had stomped his phone in an act of cellacide and put it into receivership.

Etymology: Vex (irritate, annoy) & Voicemail (automated phone message system)

| Comments and Points

Helpwhine

artr

Created by: artr

Pronunciation: helpwīn

Sentence: Most every company has some version of a helpwhine. If you can push the right buttons, you are allowed to vent your frustrations to somebody who may or may not care what you have to say — somebody who may or may not speak discernible English. This assumes that you are ever able to find that lone human in the maze of options. ”Your Call is very important to... click”.

Etymology: help (assist) + whine (a feeble or petulant complaint)

----------------------------
COMMENTS:

Dead on! - catgrin, 2010-06-21: 05:49:00

----------------------------

| Comments and Points

Callnundrum

artr

Created by: artr

Pronunciation: kôlnəndrəm

Sentence: When Geoff had an issue with his computer he decided to call the customer service hotline. What started as a good idea quickly turned into a callnundrum, a virtual quagmire of button-pushing choices. Like a digital tar baby, every touch of the keypad took him deeper into the morass. Just when he was about to climb out of the entanglement by hanging up, he broke through to a live human being. Geoff's elation was immediately dashed when the service rep, who insisted his name was Charlie, seemed to have trouble understanding even the simplest question. He suspected that Charlie's company-issued Rosetta Stone CD was still in the CD tray.

Etymology: call center (an office set up to handle a large volume of telephone calls, esp. for taking orders and providing customer service) + conundrum (a question asked for amusement, typically one with a pun in its answer; a riddle)

| Comments and Points

Voicerail

Created by: Nosila

Pronunciation: voyse rayl

Sentence: The worst offenders are the ones supposedly out there helping you. Places like government agencies, city services, big corporations,banks... virtually any company with more than 2 people working in it. Roy was like many frustrated people. His anger and fury were incensed even further by having to go through a voicemail system. Or as he called it, a voicerail system. The more menu options he had to go through, the more irate he became. He'd waste an hour tip-toeing through all these numbers only to have to contact "0" to speak to a live human, because none of these options concerned his query. Just as he was about to shoot his phone with his Smith & Wesson, he was told the correct transit number to take and when it would depart...sometimes it's quicker just to stand at the stop and wait an hour!

Etymology: Voice Mail (a computerized interactive system for storing, processing and reproducing verbal messages left through a conventional telephone network) & Rail (spread negative information about;criticize severely;complain bitterly;rebel against)

| Comments and Points

Numericearpatter

petaj

Created by: petaj

Pronunciation: new-merrik-kear-patter

Sentence: Paula's digit was sore from depressing numbers on her phone, but she found the numericearpatter even more distressing with that recorded voice droning on about options, menus and numbers and how much her call was valued. In a fit of pique she mashed down on the entire keypad thereby forfeiting her 17th place in the queue.

Etymology: numeric keypad + ear + patter

| Comments and Points

Vlimtar

Created by: balku4

Pronunciation: vlimt

Sentence: i god this is a a vlimtar

Etymology: nonee

| Comments and Points

Digigeridoo

Created by: Stevenson0

Pronunciation: dij/i/uh-ree-doo

Sentence: Whenever I phone Bell Canada, our national phone company for service, I always encounter the digigeridoo system, which encompasses pressing hundreds of buttons which only produces unintelligible irritating voice activated drone sounds and than a very clear "Thank you for calling Bell".

Etymology: digit + didgeridoo (a musical instrument of Australian Aborigines that creates a low drone sound)

| Comments and Points

Show All or More...