Verboticism: Jargontificate

'We have securitized the lavatory entrance systems'

DEFINITION: v. To demonstrate your superior knowledge and intellect by using complex, confusing and mind-numbingly stupid jargon. n. A person who uses big words to inflate their unusually small ideas.

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Ostendictious

Created by: kateinkorea

Pronunciation: OS ten DIC shus

Sentence: I think my ostendictious co-worker has swallowed a dictionary and wants us all to know.

Etymology: ostentatious:expensive or noticeable in a way that is intended to impress people. and dictionary

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COMMENTS:

This is a clever combination of impressive overinflation....like it. - mweinmann, 2008-12-31: 09:10:00

Like it alot. - OZZIEBOB, 2009-01-01: 00:20:00

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Normcrosbeing

Created by: Nosila

Pronunciation: norm croz bee ing

Sentence: Norma Crosby was the quintessential Normcrosbeing in our office. She thought by using big words (that she had seen in print, but apparently failed to check the definitions of), people would think she was far more educated than the Grade 10 level she had actually achieved, barely. When she had transferred into our HR Office, she felt it obliged her to speak far above the intellect of our internal clients, even if it meant inventing her own words. The clients were often left shaken and confused when she spoke in large words that had nothing to do with the topic at hand. As a result, people avoided her like the plague and chose not to believe any facts that she presented. Her personal crusade was that unless words were at least eight or ten letters long, why bother to use them?? It would be redumbdant and wasterly and youtilize no hexpediant deliverables.

Etymology: Norm Crosby - (Comedian, considered the Master of the Malaprop, who uses the wrong words, usually big ones to make confusing, funny comments.(i.e he speaks from his diagram and drinks decapitated coffee) & Being (a creature, a living person)

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COMMENTS:

metrohumanx I swear we must have worked in the same place in a prior lifetime. - metrohumanx, 2008-12-31: 00:55:00

You are probably right...in "The Office"! And now you know why it is a hit! - Nosila, 2008-12-31: 23:11:00

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Pompalicious

kashman

Created by: kashman

Pronunciation: pomp-a-lishius

Sentence: Listening to the office manager's pompalicious description of simple office tasks depicts how much time she had on her hands.

Etymology: Pompous (excessive display of self-importance) + (a)licious [from lacere meaning deceive or lure; used in words like delicious (de =away) and bootylicious ;)].

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Dicktionary

karenanne

Created by: karenanne

Pronunciation: DIK shun air ee

Sentence: Arry Gant is such a dicktionary. He likes to use fancy words to obscure the true meaning of what he is really saying, while making it sound really important. Everything he says is technically true; it just comes off sounding a lot better than what really happened. For example, he told us yesterday that he went to an evening philosophy lecture on campus last Thursday, probably because he thought it would impress this really cute girl who hangs out with us a lot. I was getting tired of his B.S., so I called his bluff in front of her and asked him to tell us some things about it. He responded, "Well, it was so esoteric and arcane as to be virtually impenetrable. I only wish it had could have been less rarefied and more prosaic." The girl, whose intelligence he had vastly underestimated, responded, "So what you're saying is that the lecture was meant mainly for people who already have knowledge of the study of philosophy, and so you didn't understand anything the speakers were saying because you probably haven't taken any classes in it. You wish it had been way more simplified so you could have actually understood some of it. Is that right?" All he could say in response was, "Uhhhh...yeah, that's basically it," before slinking away, claiming that he had to "go do something very urgent and important."

Etymology: dick + dictionary

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COMMENTS:

Good word and story...Arry'd make a great dicktator! - Nosila, 2010-05-17: 17:11:00

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Gobbledygush

Created by: Mustang

Pronunciation: GOB-uhl-dee-gush

Sentence: Samantha had a smattering of technical knowledge regarding electronic, photographic and surveillance systems but she had a vast vocabulary and would ramble on with enthusiastic gobbledegush not realizing that most folks knew she was talking nonsense.

Etymology: Blend of 'gobbledygook' (language characterized by circumlocution and jargon, usually hard to understand) and 'gush' (to express oneself extravagantly or emotionally; talk effusively)

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Blahsay

Created by: toadstool57

Pronunciation: bla-zay

Sentence: Jill's constant yakking in her hypnotic, dull voice is so blahsay she put the entire office to sleep at the meeting.

Etymology: blase'/say

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COMMENTS:

Different angle! Your verbote is a clever homonym! - silveryaspen, 2008-03-06: 11:09:00

Excellent - Mustang, 2008-03-06: 17:34:00

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Masterverbate

Created by: remistram

Pronunciation: mas-ter-ver-beyt

Sentence: After Jim finished his daily masterverbating on everyone, going on and on about proper code of conduct they all felt icky and wanted to take a shower.

Etymology: masturbate + verb (as in verbal gratification through self-stimulation)

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COMMENTS:

Love it! "Master", as in I am so much better than you, should be in the etymology as well! - purpleartichokes, 2008-03-06: 18:08:00

Laughed long and hard! Excellent! - silveryaspen, 2008-03-06: 21:32:00

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Acronimrod

Created by: Banky

Pronunciation: ack-ro-nimm-rohd

Sentence: "Joe, on the DL, the entire PTC committee needs those TPS reports PDQ. GBTW and, get `em to me ASAP, or I'll tell HR or your GM that you're in AA and are faking being sick instead of using PTO hours. Then it'll be RIP for your career. - Rob Gathers" Joe deleted the acronimrod's email just as Anna Gathers emerged from the hotel room's bathroom in a schoolgirl outfit. "You know, Joe, if I wanted a workaholic ass, I'd be banging my husband," she sneered. Joe closed the laptop and placed it gently beside the bed.

Etymology: acronym + nimrod

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COMMENTS:

Good one, Banky,your STAT response encapsulates this scenario and empowers the disenfranchised to become key stakeholders in this etymological challenge! - Nosila, 2008-03-06: 01:07:00

So... Did those TPS reports ever get submitted? I'm dying to know! Lol. Love you mini-stories. - Tigger, 2008-03-06: 10:30:00

Superlative story and word! - silveryaspen, 2008-03-06: 11:14:00

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Jargamorphosis

Created by: diyan627

Pronunciation: jar-gu-morf-u-sis

Sentence: There goes Tammy with her jargamorphosis again. She thinks the perplexed way I'm looking at her is fascination with her brilliance.

Etymology: jargon (Speech or writing having unusual or pretentious vocabulary, convoluted phrasing) + metamorphosis (A transformation, as by magic or sorcery. A marked change in appearance, character, condition, or *function*.) def from answers dot com

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COMMENTS:

kashman Simply brilliant and Kafka-ish! - kashman, 2008-03-09: 00:43:00

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Bossify

Created by: Eanrael

Pronunciation: Boss i fie

Sentence: HR knew that the new commission plan would cut the worker's income by at least 1/3 if not 1/2; they would have to *bossify* the presentation. Note: With the connotation that a "boss" would be happy with either result a) people ignore the plan because the wording is too complicated or b)they believe the plan to be benificial.

Etymology: Boss - n. - slang - Good, Excellent, Cool Boss - n. - a person who is in charge of an employee or organization — ORIGIN Dutch baas ‘master’.

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