Verboticism: Goatcuisine

'Who wants to test my guinea pig stew?'

DEFINITION: v. To prepare or process food in a manner that renders it unpalatable, indigestible and completely inedible. n., Food which has been prepared in such a way that it is unfit for human, or even non-human, consumption.

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Bloatcuisine

Created by: Nosila

Pronunciation: blote kwee zeen

Sentence: When Sam & Ella invited friends over for a gourmet meal, the guests never returned or reciprocated. The hosts use of unusual ingredients and bizarre preparation methods of their bloatcuisine made the food unpalatable. At their last epicurious banquet, Sam & Ella served newtritious newts; e-coliflour, with a green cheese sauce; bacon,lettuce & ptomaine-to paininis and scream of botulism soup. For dessert, an elaborate chocolate moose and I scream served on offal waffles was the crowning touch. Sam & Ella learned their craft while working as Chefs for the Addams Family. You can download the recipes from the Readers' Indigest.

Etymology: Play on Haute-Cuisine (Fr: High Cuisine...making elaborate, posh food dishes to high standards) & Bloat (swelling of the abdomen or intestinal tract of domestic animals caused by excessive gastrointeritis, over-indulgence)

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Barbecrude

Created by: milorush

Pronunciation: (n., v., and adj.)bar-be-krood

Sentence: In order to save a couple bucks, Sam's wife routinely barbecrudes the drips and drabs in the fridge for Friday "Surprise Casserole"Night.

Etymology: barbe[que] + crude

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Sheeshkebab

Created by: Nosila

Pronunciation: sheesh ke bab

Sentence: When Stephanie got creative in the kitchen, it was frightening. Her lamb kebabs became sheeshkebabs when she'd experiment with various rodents as a main course. What's next, Green eggs & Hamsters? Yuck!

Etymology: Shish kebab (cubes of meat marinated and cooked on a skewer usually with vegetables)& Sheesh (interjection used to describe disgust or distaste)

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Squeamestibles

Created by: OZZIEBOB

Pronunciation: SKWEE-mes-tuh-buhlz

Sentence: Roxie's "piece de resistance" was her cesserole de squeamestibles - an annigobnoxious alimentation - barely edible once a year. Bob often wondered whether it would all end in cuisinecide!

Etymology: 1. SQUEAM: (a back formation of Squeamish) Of the stomach: nauseous food; food readily affecting or turning one sick; unswallowable food and (COM)ESTIBLES: Something or an article (of food) that can be eaten as food: meat, cheese, and other comestibles. "CESS" from cesspool & CASSEROLE: a baking dish; any food, usually a mixture, cooked in such a dish. Noun : cesserole; Verb: to cesserole.

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Cuisinedegrade

Created by: Mustang

Pronunciation: kweh-ZEEN-de-grayd

Sentence: Caroline's one specialty was in the area of cuisinedegrade....she could make even beef wellington taste and look like pet food.

Etymology: Blend of 'cuisine' (a style or quality of cooking; cookery) and 'degrade' (lower the grade of something; reduce its worth)

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Alacommode

Created by: Jabberwocky

Pronunciation: a/la/come/ode

Sentence: A local eatery serves their dinner alacommode. The chairs which are really toilet seats come in very handy to cleanse the palate between courses.

Etymology: a la mode + commode (toilet)

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Unhappymeal

Created by: mweinmann

Pronunciation: Un - hap - pee - me - ul

Sentence: Joseph and David wanted to go for fast food to celebrate their vectory over the stompin eagles. It had been 4 to 2 in the bottom of the ninth and David had hit a flyer out of the park. Boy would a Big Mac and Fries taste good right now!! But nooooo, mom said she was cooking up a real celebration instead. Mom was notorious for her inability to make even the easiest meals palatable. Joseph began to gird his insides in preparation for the assault. "Hey Davie, can you find me the beano, rolaids and pepcid? It looks like we're in for another unhappy meal tonight".

Etymology: Unhappy (general feeling of distress, unsuitable) + meal (food that is prepared and eaten, food served and eaten at a set time) + happy meal (special fast food meal for kids that they look forward to and enjoy)

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COMMENTS:

That's just McSad! - Nosila, 2008-11-11: 20:55:00

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Retchipe

Created by: bananabender

Pronunciation: RECH - i - pee

Sentence: After Marla mixed and drank her healthy earth worm shake, Ron inquired which retchipe book she got her inspiration from.

Etymology: retch - to make an effort to vomit + recipe - list of ingredients and instructions for preparing a concoction of food or drink

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COMMENTS:

I like it!! - Mustang, 2008-01-14: 07:00:00

Retchipes for the wretched wreck of a cook gone bad! Great Creation! - silveryaspen, 2008-01-14: 11:20:00

very appropriate - Jabberwocky, 2008-01-14: 15:29:00

Some recipes are so bad, they sound almost ready to retch for! Nice word! - OZZIEBOB, 2008-01-14: 19:13:00

Its a retchtipe for disaster. Great word! - Tigger, 2008-01-15: 00:04:00

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Swillify

Created by: yellowbird

Pronunciation: swill-if-eye

Sentence: Joan swillified her bouillabaisse to such a degree that she won an award from the James 'soup-in-Beard' Foundation. When she proudly placed the award next to her Gold Medal Horrible Haggis trophy, her husband simply sighed and put another frozen dinner in the microwave.

Etymology: swill + petrify

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COMMENTS:

metrohumanx I love SWILLIFY! - metrohumanx, 2008-11-14: 02:45:00

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Breedersdigest

Created by: Nosila

Pronunciation: bree ders dijest

Sentence: When her guests fail to rave at her new recipes from her Breedersdigest Cookbook, Maisy figured she should stop cooking rodents and move further up the food chain.

Etymology: breeders (ie:guinea pigs, bacteria,) & digest (to consume a meal)

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