Verboticism: Leanament

'Why can't you get it up?'

DEFINITION: n., A Christmas tree, ornament or caroler that, no matter how it is tied, tethered and tilted, refuses to stay upright. v., To be so full of Christmas cheer that you simply sparkle, twinkle and tip over.

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Needleviagra

Created by: Nosila

Pronunciation: nee dil vy ag ra

Sentence: When Dick brought the scraggly Christmas Tree home, he knew as soon as he brought it in the house that it was not as straight and bushy as it had looked in the tree lot. He also knew he'd never hear the end of it from his wife,Carol, who criticized him for bringing such a crooked tree home. "What kind of a conifer do you call that, Dick? It's like the Leaning Tower of Pisa." "It's a new breed of fir called Needleviagra. One little blue pill in the water and it will soon be the lovely erect tree you wanted!"

Etymology: Needle (the "leaves" on a coniferous tree;to goad or prooke) & Viagra (Male virility drug)

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Christmasculated

Created by: Stevenson0

Pronunciation: kris/mas/kyuh/leyt/ed

Sentence: During our annual neigbourhood caroling, John's six eggnog and rum completely christmasculated him and it took two carolers to drag him around from house to house.

Etymology: Christmas + emasculated (flaccid, drooping)

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Christmaskew

Created by: Ransom

Pronunciation: kris-ma-SKYOO

Sentence: After countless hours of tilting and turning, Stan was still unable to break the tree's christmaskew appearance.

Etymology: Christmas + askew

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Fallallallallall

Created by: Jabberwocky

Pronunciation: fall/all/all/all/all

Sentence: It was a Christmas tradition for the carolers to carry heavily spiked eggnog to ward off the chill winds and heavy snow but by the time they got half way through their route the chorus of deck the halls seemed most appropriate as they fallallallallalled into a deep snowdrift.

Etymology: fall all + Deck the halls with boughs of holly, Fa la la la la, la la la la.

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COMMENTS:

Heh heh...been there and done that. Excellent work - Mustang, 2008-12-15: 08:37:00

Creatively funny! My second vote for today goes to you! - logarithm, 2008-12-15: 09:36:00

artr Love it. Very funny - artr, 2008-12-15: 13:26:00

It's catchy, too. The alliteration is kinda drunken sounding. - Ismelstar, 2008-12-16: 00:07:00

Terrific - OZZIEBOB, 2008-12-17: 04:05:00

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Treerectiledysfunction

Created by: purpleartichokes

Pronunciation: tree-rek-tile-dis-funk-shun

Sentence: The large crash we heard in the middle of the night could only mean one of two things - either Rudolph had tripped over the satellite dish, or our Scotch Pine suffered from treerectiledysfunction.

Etymology: a tree in need of Viagra

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COMMENTS:

Good one, Purps! I tried to go down this path, but found it too difficult! Flaccid Navidad to you! - OZZIEBOB, 2007-12-10: 04:56:00

Thank you, Ozzie. Same to you! Er... maybe not. - purpleartichokes, 2007-12-10: 07:03:00

ho ho ho - Jabberwocky, 2007-12-10: 11:48:00

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Everlean

artr

Created by: artr

Pronunciation: evərlēn

Sentence: Horace is no good at picking Christmas trees. No matter how good it looked in the lot, every tree he took home was an everlean. Somewhere between the tree lot and home the trunk would develop a bend. A few years ago he thought he could dupe the fates by buying an artificial tree. No such luck. Somehow it was damaged in transit and it too refused to stand upright.

Etymology: ever (at all times; always)+ lean (be in or move into a sloping position)

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COMMENTS:

But my dad's name isn't Horace. He was also great at finding trees with major bare spots. - wayoffcenter, 2008-12-15: 04:49:00

Nice one! My vote #1 for you. - logarithm, 2008-12-15: 09:34:00

Nice - OZZIEBOB, 2008-12-17: 04:06:00

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Tiltatree

Created by: chaiandallthatjazz

Pronunciation:

Sentence:

Etymology:

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Blitzened

Created by: bzav1

Pronunciation: blits + end

Sentence: I got totally blitzened at the staff Chistmas party, and knocked the full punch bowl into the boss's wife's lap, during my karaoke rendition of O Holy Night.

Etymology: drunk + the reindeer harnessed beside Donder

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COMMENTS:

well you did 'fall on your knees' but did you 'hear the angel voices'? - Jabberwocky, 2007-12-10: 16:16:00

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Christmess

Created by: Maxine

Pronunciation: 'kris mes

Sentence: Look at that tree. What a Christmess! Say, you're not looking too well either. Better take a break, or you might Christmess before you know it.

Etymology: Christ + mess, as in "Christ, what a mess." Christmas, as in "The relatives are over and the kids are crazy. Christ, what a mess."

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Slantacaused

Created by: Tigger

Pronunciation: /slahn'-tuh-kawzd/

Sentence: The Christmas tree was hopelessly slantacaused, looking like it was about to fallalalala, but we soon had bigger problems to worry about when Uncle Frank suddenly swooned, hiccupped, and dropped like a missletoe, cracking his Eggnoggin on the mantel.

Etymology: slant - at an oblique angle; aslant (from Middle English, slenten) + Santa-claus (from Dutch, Sinterklaas) + cause[d] - the reason for a condition or result (from Latin, causa)

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COMMENTS:

Perhaps Uncle Frank, after the knock on his 'eggnoggin' will get mental blocks for Christmas! Good word and, as always, thorough etymology! - OZZIEBOB, 2007-12-10: 05:06:00

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